Great article on modern parenting; lots of food for thought.

[resqman]

The article is written by a helicopter parent who is having a hard time backing away. Parents don't want to be parents, they want to be a friend and cheerleader.

 

If parenets would be parents, it would be easier. Set rules and stick to them when the child is born. Don't threaten with things you can't back up. Teach them rules and boundaries from day one and you will seldom have to really lay down the law when older. Kids will always try to push the boundaries, thats their job. My kids know that if asked and answered 3 times, we are not going to give in. If they have a reasonable arguement, better be offered before the 3rd no.

 

I remember sitting at the playground when mine were 3-5 yrs old. A mom was hovering over her child as he tried to climb a 3 ft high sloped ladder. She was all around, over, in between trying to be where ever he may fall... into 6 inches of sand. Mine were smaller/younger and were all over the play structure while I sat on the park bench in the shade. If they fell, I waited until they cried. Then I would ask them if they were Ok? Most times you can tell by the cry if they are really hurt or just bumped. That kid did not know how to play with other kids because Mom was his playmate.

 

Everyone learns by doing. Ask the 4 patrol buddies who pitched there tent in the convulence of all the drainage ditches. When it rained that night and their sleeping bags were floating, they leanred a lesson. Guess who always has a high and dry tent site since? Some learn by example but some have to pee on the electric fense for themselves.

 

We have some pick eaters in the troop. No one has starved during a weekend campout. By Sunday, even things you have never tried or don't like taste good. They learn to be better at voicing their concerns during meal planning before the campout and/or being the cook instead of the fire tender.

[Stosh]

"The divorce rate in America for first marriage, vs second or third marriage

50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.

 

According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America:

The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%

The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%

The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%"

 

Kinda makes one wonder how the divorce rate of +50% can have 61% of children living with both biological parents.

 

Kinda makes one wonder where all the numbers come from. :}

 

Stosh

[momof2cubs]

jblake: I think there might be lots of kids living with both their unmarried parents? I live in white bread suburbia, so it's easy to forget just how not common most people's situation is around here. The whole two (biological)married parent household may be rarer than it seems.

 

Regarding the food issue: I fully expect my picky youngest son to not eat for a whole weekend when he is a scout. It's not gonna kill him. He will either be hungry all weekend or learn to eat what it is served. I am not going camping (In fact it is one of the things I am MOST looking forward to giving up when they cross over) and I sure as heck not packing him a lunch from home.

[Engineer61]

Hmmm ... I wonder if food issues is why my stepson has has balked on the last three camping trips.

 

Even as a 14 yo, he has a pretty narrow diet...better than it was a couple years ago...he'd routinely pack a bunch of Power Bars and eat those on camping trips ... and if he ran out ... he didn't eat.

[raisinemright]

Fred,

 

Reminds me of last week. We have a boy in our troop who is very, very shy and an only child. He joined a few months ago and has been working up the nerve to camp. His dad has been trying to foster more independence and has come along on many outings. THe scout missed summer camp because of a previous commitment but came for some of the evening activities. He came to a cabin campout last weekend and his dad told me that he (dad) would be leaving and the scout would stay.

 

I just laughed and said "so why are you still here? Leave already."

 

It worked out great and I've got a committment to go winter tent camping next month.

[perdidochas]

Question: For the older Scout leaders among us:

 

Is this trait of kids being extremely picky eaters to the point of eating almost nothing on a weekend a new one, or have there always been one or two out there?

[momof2cubs]

perdidochas: I'm not an old scouter. But I think the picky eater thing has always been around. The difference is now, parents coddle it. In other words, we did not have parents that micromanaged the food situation on a camp out just to ensure little Johnny had at least 2 of the 5 foods he eats.

 

Disclaimer: I am extrapolating based on observation in situations other than scouting (i.e. birthday parties, classroom events, etc).

[perdidochas]

I just don't get the whole ultra-picky eater thing. One of my brothers' kids has that. Drives the rest of the family crazy at get-togethers. My oldest son doesn't particularly care for scrambled eggs (or any eggs for that matter). However, he realized that camping survival makes it essential to be able to eat them. He found that with ketchup or salsa, they are palatable.

[Eagle92]

Being an old fogey AND once a very picky eater, the case of picky eaters have been a round a long time. But now folks are being coddled. Heck some folks are even forcing the food issue.

 

Back in my day, it was eat what we have or eat some peanut butter sandwiches. Getting tired of peanut butter sandwiches one campout, I eventually started eating as I was famished. Mom was so amazed that she even asked the leaders what did they do to her son

 

But nowadays people are coddled so much that they do what they want. Heck I've had one trip that the menu was forced upon a group by 3 individuals out of about 15 to twenty. Long story short, the 2 true vegans and a "semi vegan" demanded and got their way: no meat would be served for a week long canoeing trip. Ticked a bunch of us off, but they forced the issue and won. Kinda helps if the trainer is one of the vegans. Only consolation was that were told that we would eat at an all you can eat buffet once we finished the trip and on the way home. Long story short, the buffet was closed by the time we got there and we had to order pizzas instead, but again we were limited to the number we could buy for the group and which ones we could buy. So 2 pizzas of the 6 or 7 bought had meat on it: one pepperoni and one meat lovers. The "semi vegan" then proceeded to eat some of the pepperoni because "I love pepperoni." I wanted to strangle the girl. And there was a lot of resentment about her over the pizza.

[Beavah]

Yah, I'll speak for old furry fellows long in da tooth.

 

I think picky eaters have been around forever. Some kids are just that way, and many families aren't very diverse in their tastes. I agree with da rest of my August and Ancient Colleagues, however, when they say that the mollycoddling now is a lot worse than it was. And da whole vegetarian/vegan fettish is new, particularly among boys.

 

B

[chaoman45]

I've never seen a vegetarian Scout.

 

Also the article was interesting.

[Stosh]

What?!! No bacon on a campout?!! It would shut some units down!

 

Stosh

[Tampa Turtle]

I would recommend spinning off picky eaters as a topic.

[Eagle92]

Well the only vegan scouts I've ever met were 1 Aussie, and the 2 Tigers in my den who were Hindus.

 

My vegan expereince was not scout-related, but was with a job I had. Part of the training they did was take the new hires on a week long canoe trip in FL. One of the trainers, and two participants were vegans, and forced the issue on us. At least they let us have MnMs in our trail mix. Yes they wouldn't eat MnMs b/c they use animal fat for the Ms.

[Stosh]

Hmmm... if regular menu items are not forced on vegans out of respect, what kind of respect is it when vegans force on others?

 

I got my picky eating habits corrected at a young age by my mother. Her favorite comment at dinner was: "If you don't like what's served, there's peanut butter and jelly. Otherwise, you can check next door to see what they're having."

 

I grew to really dislike PBJ's.

 

Stosh