Self Doubts

[grmaerika]

I've been Den Leader with the Tigers all year and organized the program to get all parents on board.That part has gone great. I'm going to move up and be with the Wolves next year. I do not feel I have the skills to be able to handle the boys discipline wise on my own. Our group is small, but most likey will grow. None of the other parents seem to be able to do much better.Does anyone have any books to suggest or maybe a special training that could help in that area? I'm hoping a Dad will come on board as an Assistant,but I need more kid skills.

[OwntheNight]

Couple of ideas for you.

 

1. The behavior candle- Have a small candle and light it at the beginning of the meeting, Let the boys know that if they behave during the den meetings, the candle stays lit.When they burn the entire candle out, reward them with whatever, ice cream, extra game time, little trinkets, whatever you want it to be. If they act up during the meeting, walk over and blow the candle out. Start with a tea candle to give them some motivation to do well, then work up in size of candle.

 

2.marble jar- same concept except your adding marbles to an empty jar for good behavior.

 

3. Akela's Talking Stick- Take a good size stick and decorate it however you want. Tell the boys only the person holding the stick may talk at that time. If they would like to talk, they need to raise their hand and wait for the stick to be handed to them. This works well until the boys reach for the stick and then somebody tries to take the stick out of another boys hand and gets popped in the head on accident.

 

4. Consistency- Start your meetings at the same time, every time. Go through the same ritual or routine at the beginning and the end of the den meeting. That way they know what to expect when the time comes.

 

One thing I also did last year at the beginning of our Tiger year. I showed them the Cub Scout sign, explained it's meaning, and had the boys scream as loud as possible until they saw the Cub Scout sign. We did that a few times, until they figured it out. Now I don't have to say anything, I just raise my hand, make the Cub Scout sign, and the boys figure it out pretty quickly.

 

Remember it's your room, your in control, not them. You'll do great!

[moosetracker]

I imagine you have taken the normal recomended training and found it lacking in the specific worries you have.. If not at least take that.

 

I would suggest you seek talking one on one with someone who has already gone through the rank and is confident in the skills. Does your pack have someone? If not, I would suggest talking with your district training chair and see if maybe they can set you up with someone they know who maybe you could meet and sit down with on a one on one discussion at a roundtable or someplace else..

 

Also attending roundtables monthly will help give you ideas and people who you can get contacts that you ask advice from.

 

 

Our forum is also always open, with many people willing to give advice.

 

But, I think in order to get that necessary shot of confidence that you can do this, that one-on-one with someone who is already confident about the position is what would be the best.. The rest will keep your motivation up, and re-align you if you start loosing your vision.

 

[jhankins]

OwntheNight had some awesome ideas. I've used the talking feather (or stick) and it worked like a charm. The boys couldn't wait for their turn to hold it and command some respect.

 

I've heard of good results with the marble jar, too.

 

Remember to think of their attention spans -- they are boys. Get them moving and outdoors as much as possible. Combine a book learning activity with something that gets them out of their chairs and you'll find many of the behavioral problems disappear.

[Eagle92]

OtN gave the ideas I'd recommend. use them and it helps. Does it get rambunctious, of course it's 7 yo wolves, but they help.

 

A Den Chief also helps a lot. Kids look up to him and model his behavior. saddest day for me this year was when I lost my DC to the Webelos. BUT he is needed there more than with the Webelos.

[packsaddle]

I used those methods as well, with some success. The problem with the candle is that once it's blown out, then they have nothing to lose, LOL, and they'll have that figured out very quickly.

 

I was a den leader for all levels but Tigers. I guess I had an advantage of having some nice city parks readily available for meetings and here in the South, there's almost no weather that keeps us indoors. So I started every meeting with contests: running, jumping, etc. We did this until everyone had arrived and it burned off a lot of the energy (for me too). It helped settle them a bit. Then we turned to things that required a little more attention.

On those days when we were confined to indoors, we had races in the church hallways except as crabs (as in crab soccer). They had a great time (but the little church ladies with those permanently pruned up scowls didn't like it much). I had to do a lot of apologies sometimes.

 

Finally, and this is important...sometimes the stars are simply lined up against you. There were times when I and other parents had to just stand back and marvel at how impossible that meeting was. It was as if irresistible forces had taken them over. Nothing worked. We were completely ineffectual. We'd look at each other and just wonder at the spectacle. The moral is, sometimes you have to just shrug and smile and plan for another day.

I just love the cubs.

[Tampa Turtle]

If the boys are wild sometimes you are "playing school" too long and they are bored. I agree that some physical activity is essential. Play a lot of games. Sometimes the boys will spin out of control.

 

If you have other helpers have them try to redirect some of the problem boys.

 

I had some Tiger/Wolf meetings I thought were total disasters --total chaos-- and later got feedback that they were the best ever.

[83Eagle]

Put the active stuff last. This might seem counterintuitive. I always thought if we'd start with something active, it would burn their energy off. Instead it just wound them up.

 

Instead, have coloring pages there for them. For some reason I never have bad luck with coloring pages. They dial in. Then move to your den/badge activity, and end with an active game. Then have snacks.

 

It's "short attention span" theater--no more than 10 minutes per activity. 30-40 minutes of activity, 10 minutes of snack, cleanup, you're done.

[drmbear]

It may sound very funny, but some of the very best things I have ever learned about raising kids, I learned from training dogs. A very long time ago, I trained a couple of dogs using the guidance I found in some book, maybe Barbara Woodhouse. One of the dogs was completely unruly, but those principles of saying what you want them do do (instead of ever saying "no" or what you don't want them to do), small rewards for the behavior you want, and that they really like finding ways to please you, has been just as relevant to me as a parent (and Cub Scout Leader) as anything I ever learned in information about raising kids. I had some very well trained dogs, and I think I have had some really amazing kids, but I still use those dog-training principles every time I'm trying to get my den, or the whole pack, under control.

[grmaerika]

All of these suggestions are helpful. I also think having our meetings outside now will help alot.I've tried not to"play school" too much. They loved it when a real police officer came to talk to them..He was just so much cooler, same for talking with the firemen.They all love to draw, and could draw for a good half hour. I find that crafts are not that successful, as of yet.They cannot focus.Maybe its just the excitement ,because we were only having one meeting a month.The talking feather might work.I'll have to find a big one. I grew up with all boys, so I think I understand them at least a little.guess that's why i was a Brownie drop-out, but am enjoying the heck out of Cub Scouts. Maybe getting more things like Belt Loops over the summer will help them connect the dots. They HATE Pack meetings now.So BORING! "why do they get all those cool awards, and we don't get any?"...at Tiger level it was mostly beads up til now.Next year we will have two Den meetings a month plus the outing, plus the Pack meeting. This might help to ground them a little more.Thanks for the pointers and advice to talk to other leaders.It's all a new adventure for me and all this advice is helpful.

[perdidochas]

The key is keeping them occupied.

 

First, don't just do crafts and "bookwork" or lectures. Intersperse things.

 

Second, make sure the boys play some kind of active game during the meeting. Boys need to move!!!!

[infoscouter]

A couple ideas I've found useful.

 

Scale the meeting space to the size of the den. So, if you have six boys, meet in a classroom not the cafeteria. If you give them lots of room to run, they will take it. If you must meet in a larger room, use tables and chairs to create a smaller space within the larger room.

 

Don't allow "down time" between activities. Plan out your meeting, and arrange of the the materials/equipment so that you can move seamlessly from one activity to another. Unsupervised transitions are one of the biggest opportunities for misbehavior - since they're not being engaged they're going to find something to do on their own.

 

Use the code of conduct. Have them help you write a set of rules and the consequences for breaking them.