I need a Why Real Men Dont Curse Speech

[Mafaking]

Yep! I got some colorful language flying about the campsites. Not in front of me but its occurring at scout outings. I hear about this from the moms and dad who have to talk to junior about his new found adjectives.

 

(This message has been edited by Mafaking)

[OldGreyEagle]

Check out

 

From "Dr. Lou" Holtz

 

in the Scoutmaster's Minute section, that's a good starter.

 

The troop I serve had quite the language problem when I joined up, seems the adults were so inutred to it, they didnt realize it was an issue. I commented that the boys language was quite raw and they said they hadn't noticed, the next campout when a few expletives floated out I pointed it out and the others agreed I had a point.

 

So, I challanged the boys, told them not to say anything they wouldnt repeat in forn of their mothers. Until I met a few salty tongued mom's who would have done the Navy proud,. Actually, I think a few of them did. So, I challenged them again, told them they were free to use any word they heard me use. The worst part was the next outing, an Eagle Project and I dropped some timbers on my foot. I swear (non-profanely of course) the whole job site went silent as the boys strained to hear what I would exclaim. I knew it and said OUCH.

 

Took a few corrections but it settled down. I remarked to my son that the languse improved, he said, yeah but only when adults are around, I told him thats ok, it means the kids "know" what the standards are and thats the important part.

[ASM59]

Maybe it was the way I was brought up, or maybe it is my personal commitment not to do it, but I don't use any language that could be misconstrued as "cursing"; except possibly where a direct quote was necessary. Now I am a well respected individual in the circles that I run, and the boys of the Troop almost always come to me first when they need adult intervention or help; so I know there is respect there as well.

 

Ive found that having both the respect of the youth that I am working with and having a clean track record is the best deterrent to hearing them use it. I can confidently stand in front of them and ask them if theyve ever heard that kind of language come out of my mouth. Yes, they will tend to use it when there are no adults around, but when in our presence, they seem to be able to control the tongue. So, I can challenge them to tame the tongue even when they are not around the adults.

 

I think there is a cultural thing going on that seems to say, no one will take you seriously if you dont use expletives. I can point to many times where I have resolved problems without the use of a single curse word. In one case, I was dealing with a medical insurance claim and was getting no help from the person on the phone. That persons manager called me back (at my request) and said that he did not appreciate me cussing-out his employee. I challenged him and told him that I would not stand for having a false accusation used against me. I told him to go back and play back the recording of my phone call with his rep. He did so, and called again later with an apology. He said he could hear how passionate that I was regarding the matter, but that I did not use any inappropriate language. He spoke to his rep to correct the misperception, and did look into my complaint and ended up resolving it in my favor.

 

My point here is that you can get peoples attention without cussing; it just takes more reasoning and thought. People who cuss to get their point across usually do not have a good argument and fall back on intimidation to get that point accepted. Thats what I tell the youth that I work with

 

ASM59

[packsaddle]

The Lou Holtz thing is good. However, don't let them read anything about George Patton! Or quite a few other persons I would definitely consider to be real men.

Relating to Merlyn's thread a while back about blasphemy, some of what we might say today has been considered bad taste or worse in the past. My father-in-law used to slam his hands on the table and yell, "ENOUGH!" if someone merely mentioned breasts or certain diseases. And not too long ago I had some fun with Rooster7's inability to discuss female anatomy in anything other than slang terms - for some reason anatomically correct terms were somehow distasteful. Today, however, we discuss hideous things and never miss a single bite.

But I suppose it is correct...in some ways we might still be cultural prudes. The problem is not in our words, but rather in our minds.

[Oak Tree]

Yeah, I think you need to be careful that you don't say things that sound totally fake to the kids. If you say that real men don't curse, you're just setting yourself up for being perceived as out-of-touch ("My dad curses. Isn't he a real man?" "General Patton cursed. Wasn't he a real man?" Etc.) Some real men do curse, sometimes.

 

The adults have to lead by example, and you have to let it be known what the standards are and you need to be consistent. I'd just let the Scouts know that cursing violates your standards. Most Scouts already know that it violates polite society standards - I wouldn't think that they'd actually argue with you.

 

As to why society doesn't want to hear that kind of talk...seems like that's a long subject. But some people don't like it - either for religious reasons, or because they don't like their conversations sprinkled with images of people copulating.

 

Can they control themselves in school?

 

I doubt that one speech is going to fix the problem, but you do need to let them know that you know it's going on, you don't approve, and you'd like their help in fixing the problem. If you keep hearing reports about this, well, "We'll just have to have Mrs. Hinkerbacker come along and sit with you all around the campfire. Or maybe I could check with Mrs. Dinglejammer and see if she has a baby monitor that we could borrow."

[packsaddle]

Hinkerbacker? Dinglejammer? Sheesh man, come up with some better names. I'd rather think about the images from the four letter words.

[Mafaking]

 

 

Packsaddle, I'll provide them with a mock list of approved gibberish words to be used in place if the real ones.

 

I get the point on the "Real Men". I happen to know that my son's dad curses occasionally and the best I can tell he is a real man.

 

[kenk]

The best that I can offer is that excessive (to be defined by the listener) swearing gives the impression of ignorance or stupidity.

 

I don't care whether its a football player in the NFL, an admiral in the navy, or a the President of the United States of America.

 

Do YOU want to sound stupid?

[Stosh]

kenk: I was thinking along the same lines but didn't want to be so blunt, but that approach might work for those with the thicker skulls.

 

I often remind my boys that ignorant men don't know many words and thus supplement with explatives. An articulate man doesn't need to.

 

Stosh

 

[Buffalo Skipper]

One of our older scouts (now 18 and an ASM) a few years ago when he was SPL was really put off by the language of his fellow scouts. After one string of expletives, he responded "And you go home and kiss your momma with that mouth?" I don't recall how much of an impression that left with the other scouts, but the rest of the adults got a kick out of it.

 

We are fortunate that our oldest scouts (who are prone to use bad language) are not active, and our current troop is young enough that this is not an issue. Three of our scouts go to private Christian schools, and they don't really put up with that language.

[Buffalo Skipper]

One of our older scouts (now 18 and an ASM) a few years ago when he was SPL was really put off by the language of his fellow scouts. After one string of expletives, he responded "And you go home and kiss your momma with that mouth?" I don't recall how much of an impression that left with the other scouts, but the rest of the adults got a kick out of it.

 

We are fortunate that our oldest scouts (who are prone to use bad language) are not active, and our current troop is young enough that this is not an issue. Three of our scouts go to private Christian schools, and they don't really put up with that language.

[JoeBob]

'Real Men' don't need to curse. People who cuss are faking something, and are using ugly language to distract you from their insecurity.

Boys join Scouting in order to grow secure enough with themselves that they don't need to prop up their manhood with dirty words.

[nolesrule]

The whole "people who curse are covering for an insecurity" idea is complete equine excrement.

 

While I applaud the effort to eliminate cursing, especially within the context of Scouting, we should not be belittling others in an effort to improve ourselves.

[SSScout]

two and a half men

nip and tuck

sons of anarchy

south park

american dad

cleveland show

gleemelrose place

"fridays the new hump day" (promotion for gossip girl)

glenn martin, dds

 

these are some of the tv shows available to the average "basic" cable, fios, dst, disk receiver. in "prime time". don't think your kid isn't watching them when you aren't. all are designed and intended to make the language being discussed here seem ok, acceptable, normal, usual. you pay for the creation of these shows, and you have little or no say in the matter.

 

look to http://www.parentstv.org/ for more info.

 

 

[packsaddle]

SSScout just somehow reminded me of events that took place in my old troop back in the early '60s. There was a similar concern. Some of the boys were using words that alarmed the leaders as well as church elders, etc. So there were talks about the right thing, scoutmaster minutes, visits by the pastor, etc.

I had not been involved up to that point but after it was apparent that we were really jerking them around, it became a grand game. We abandoned the specific words to which the adults objected and invented new ones as surrogates...and flung them around liberally. The effect was just sublime. The adults had no idea what to do about it. We could invent new words faster than they could figure out what the recent ones meant. I mean - we were so quick and they were so stupid! They kept trying to prevent us from doing this when what was really needed was some conversation that treated us as equals in that conversation...with equal respect and equal responsibility. That eventually happened but not at the hands of those who tried to ban, outlaw, reject, prohibit, etc. certain words.

Like I said, it's all in the mind. The mind is what needs to be engaged.