I am Not a Kid

[Its Me]

 

So I am at the soccer field the other night buying fries for my daughter and me. I reach for the Tabasco sauce for my fries and the boy next to me grabs the Tabasco bottle just before I do. Not rude, just a timing issue. He then liberally coats his burger with Tabasco. I comment that, "I have never seen a kid use that much Tabasco sauce before." And I kind of gave him the man-nod that I thought it was cool.

 

He pauses for a moment and says, "I am not a kid I am 12 years old". I smile and just walk away.

 

I now know I offended him by calling him a kid. But in his mind what is he if he is not a kid. At 12 I guess I should have used young man or a gentleman your age. Or I should have just shut-up because people don't like stupid comments from strangers.

 

Help me out here

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Gold Winger]

Probably his parents just gave him the "you're not a kid lecture."

 

I work with a 70 year old who calls me a kid. I call the 20 year olds kids. It's all relative.

[scoutldr]

His parents should have also given him the "Be polite to adults" lecture. Or better yet, the "don't talk to strangers" lecture. If I were the "kid", I would have responded, "Yes, sir, I sure do like hot sauce!"

 

Different times.

[evmori]

A 12 year old is a kid!

[Eamonn]

Very often at work when an inmate has been called on the carpet and is a little upset he will remind me that he is "A grown man!"

I was explaining to a young African-American inmate the error of his ways.

He got a little miffed with me, gave me the "I'm a grown man" speech, but what I thought wasreally funny was when he added "I'm not your son!!"

I looked at him and looked at my arm, which is like the rest of me; very white and couldn't help but laugh.

In Scouts I do tend to use the term kid a lot. In fact now we have female Sea Scouts, I kinda got out of the habit of using "Boys".

I know some young people do at times get a little upset. The fault is mine, I just can't get used to using youth or youths.

I think or like to think that when I use "Kid" it is almost a term of endearment. I certainly don't mean it as any sort of a put down.

Eamonn.

[Herms]

If he is using that much Tabasco, he is a MAN!

[CA_Scouter]

I agree with HERMS. Boorah!

 

Regarding terms, I refer to all the troop youth as 'scouts', not 'boys' or 'kids'. I like to believe it sets a level of expection on their attitude and behavior.

 

But boy, I could be kidding myself. Who knows.. :-)

 

[Stosh]

I've always applied the Golden Rule principle in this situation. They refer to me as Mr. B______ and I refer to them as Mr. A______. That way when they do something especially mature or adult like, I refer to them by their first name as one would do on a more familial level as adults. Even with my calling them by their first names occasionally, they have never referred to me by my first name. Respect passes both ways.

 

Stosh

[Lisabob]

I work with university students. My deal with them is that they don't refer to me as Mrs. (always makes me look over my shoulder for my mother in law!) and I won't refer to them or treat them as kids. Works pretty well most of the time but still I slip up once in a while, and more so when I teach freshmen/women. As my own teenage son approaches their age I find I am slipping more often despite good intentions. But yeah...I remember being 12 (let alone 18-19-20) and thinking I owned the world...

 

 

[Trevorum]

I don't think there was anything seriously wrong with the way the 12 year old was addressed. However, the slang does have a slightly insulting connotation to some (perhaps overly sensitive) young people. Just the way I might be slightly insulted if that same 12 year old called me "Gramps".

 

I try to use the generic (and more congenial) term "fellow" when referring to youth. As in, "Sam, ask the fellows what time we should leave on next weekend's campout."

[packsaddle]

I guess I'm just an old-fashioned, conservative sort of guy but I have always understood a 'kid' to be a baby goat.

[Gold Winger]

" Just the way I might be slightly insulted if that same 12 year old called me "Gramps"."

 

Heck, I'm not insulted when the youngsters call me "Geezer."

 

[hotdesk]

Someone said that the 12 year old should be talked too about respecting his elders or something like that. It doesn't sound like the kid tried to be disrespectful or for that matter was disrespectful. He saw an issue and addressed the issue.

 

In Boy Scouts we are told that we are developing boys into young men. In Cub Scouts the scouts are boys. They lack maturity, have limited common sense, and haven't made any real contributions to the group.

 

By the time this boy goes on the first couple of campouts (and entered 6th grade) they do begin to develop maturity, grow in level of common sense, and lead their peers. Here they are becoming the young men that we promise to make.

 

Perhaps, this 12 year old felt that was becoming a young man and therefore was no longer a kid.

 

I think adults should be very careful referring to anyone with a term that considers age including; child, kid, youngster, grandpa, oldie, etc. We should limit our use of these terms and just talk to the person using words based on respect, consideration, etc.

[packsaddle]

Gold Winger,

It doesn't bother me either...but then I'm OK with pretty much anything someone wants to call me. I like to see them flaming off, kind of reduces the pressure - you know, the sphincter factor (sometimes known as 'pucker factor'). I have to tell you I've seen some people who were about to bite a hole in their chair....but then after flinging a few really juicy names at me, they felt a lot better.

 

Edited part: Hotdesk, this topic has come up in these threads before. I remember replying to Bob White a long time ago with regard to the names we call our pets. I mentioned that our dog was named after a food item, "Pepper", and after reading the thread, I felt really guilty.(This message has been edited by packsaddle)

[Stosh]

I went back and reread the first posting and of course began to think about all the different possibilities of this 12 year-old's comment.

 

1) In some cultures he would be considered an adult.

 

2) Having been "affronted" by a label i.e. "Kid", he did not respond in like kind.

 

3) The comment was precise and accurate with no hidden agendas.

 

The more I think about it with the polite, mature response considering the circumstances. I would tend to agree with him. I know a lot of "adults" that wouldn't react as well as he did.

 

Stosh