Help...

[jgeller93]

Recently, some new boys have entered the troop. one of these boys has a problem with personal hygene, and has body odor. our boys have tried to talk to him about it, and we have spoken with his parents, but they deny and problem. this is becoming very important because some of the boys refuse to share a tent with him. Any advice?

[scottteng]

Let the boys take care of it and stay out of the way of them taking care of it. In other words when you see the stinky scout being dragged to the shower by his mates you do your best Ray Charles imitation. May be worthwhile to let SPL know that you need a chance to practice that imitation. Don't let em go as far as wire brushes.

[Gold Winger]

I concur and maybe suggest to the SPL and ASPLs that they don't participate.

[CalicoPenn]

How old is this boy? What else can you tell us about him before we all have a "pile on the boy" party.

 

I ask because it's unusual for a boy to regularly have body odor issues to such an extreme as you mention. A week in the woods without showering? Yeah, I can see it. But a week at home? Unless his parents aren't insisting he take regular showers, or unless he's wearing the same clothes day in and day out, there may be something more going on.

 

What is the regular diet of the lad. If his regular diet includes lots of curry, he may have an odor that is foreign to most people, but not to his parents (or to many people in other parts of the world whose diet is heavy in curry). If it is diet - then you'll all just need to learn to live with it - or prepare yourself to lose a Scout and be branded an insensitive bigot by the lads parents and friends.

 

If, at the end of the day, it can't be pinpointed to lack of showers/clotheswashing, or diet - it could be a medical issue that the parents may not be aware of. There is some experimenting with training dogs to detect possible cancer in people through smell because cancer will cause an odor that is not typical. Before you drag the kid off to a shower, I think you owe it to him, and his family, to help him figure out just what is going on.

 

Calico

[Lisabob]

And by the way if he is wearing the same clothing all week and his family isn't insisting he shower on a regular basis, these might be signs that there are some problems at home too. Allowing the other boys to drag him off to the showers won't uncover those problems but it sure will humiliate the kid. Sometimes a little peer pressure can be a useful tool but it is often a blunt instrument and so it wouldn't be my first choice of tools in this case.

 

Is there a trusted adult leader, or (even better?) a kind older scout that the boy looks up to, who could have a heart to heart with the boy first? I mean in a semi-private context, not "Hey Joe, you stink man!" in front of the whole patrol. Maybe you've already tried this - I am not sure from your post. What can his former Webelos Den Leader tell you about the boy? Might be worth asking.

[jgeller93]

The boy in question is about 11 years old, and both the SPL and ASPL have had private conversations about it, but it is still denyed. we have brought up the posibility of a skin disorder, but his parents maintain that there are no problems. the only differnce in diet that we know of is an excess of cheese. And our kids have tried to shower him, but none of them wanted to stay near him for that long.

 

[Bob White]

Why not just send everyone to the showers? How about having the patrols make manual wash machines from toilet plungers and 5-gallon buckets and teach EVERYONE how to do laundry.

 

I cannot believe that any adult would condone that scouts be allowed to drag another one off against his will to do ANYTHING and to turn a blind eye to it, and that other adults would support such an action.

 

That is not how you teach a scout good grooming habits or anything else.

[Oak Tree]

Ok, here's how I would handle it. It sounds like you've already done all the first steps correctly. I'd talk to both the parents and the boy, after making enough personal observations of the problem myself (i.e. it's not just what the other boys are saying, it's what you have personally experienced).

 

I'm surprised that they continue to deny it, when you are all just reporting what you think, but some people are fairly blind when it comes to their own situation, and typically pretty defensive about their kids.

 

Is it really so bad that you do feel that you can in good conscience force another boy to tent with him? If so, I'd tell the parents that. And I'd follow through - tenting alone isn't a big problem. Lots of boys in my troop seem to prefer that anyway if it's an option.

 

You also need to think about what would be an acceptable solution. Does he need to shower every evening? Even on trips where there is no convenient shower? Is it deodorant? I'm not sure what would actually fix the problem in this case. But if it's as big a problem as you indicate, you need to sit down with the parents and come to an agreement that everyone can live with, including you and the other boys in the troop.

[Eagledad]

>>I cannot believe that any adult would condone that scouts be allowed to drag another one off against his will to do ANYTHING and to turn a blind eye to it, and that other adults would support such an action.

[Gunny2862]

And is it possible that the family doesn't have access to adequate medical care? Not knowing or not being able to provide for a "unnecessary" trip to the doctor may provide the rationale for the denial.

I at one time, had a person I was responsible for develop a "smell" issue and it turned out after I MADE them go to sick call that they had developed diabetes which was unusually causing the odor.

[Gold Winger]

Back in the 7th or 8th grade we watched a movie about personal hygiene because we were hitting that age where you could begin to smell bad.

 

The movie had two scenarios. One in which a girl didn't smell too good so one of her friends suggested to her that she try some new ointment to make her skin fresher and "of course, you have to use it after you bathe." That made the girl in question say, "Hmmmm. . ." and she started bathing daily.

 

The smelly guy, of course, being a guy, ignored all of the hints so his buddies grabbed him in the locker room, threw him into the shower and scrubbed him with a deck brush. He got the hint.

 

Back in junior high and high school, showers were mandatory after gym class. If you didn't shower, the gym teacher would toss you into the shower fully clothed. That happened once a year and was a lesson to everyone else. Now kids don't shower have gym class or sporting events but that another discussion.

[Stosh]

Denial is not really denial....

 

On my first national reenacting event I attended it was August the temps were 90+ and we were all in wool uniforms for three days and that meant we were all pretty ripe. I didn't really notice it too much, but kept my mouth shut. Back at the hotel aftewards on the way back home, we were trying to decide who got the shower first. I "won"!!! When I came out of the bathroom, I quickly realized that I really hadn't. Once I got cleaned up the rest of the guys were TERRIBLE. But the real winner was the guy that got to the showers LAST. As stinky as that boy smells, he does not realize it! He will truthfully deny it all day long.

 

Work a deal with the boy. After the next really heavy workout day when all the boys are extra "savory". Have that boy clean up first and explain to him the dynamics of the situation. If he realizes how it works, he may come to terms with his problem.

 

Your mileage may vary.

 

Stosh

[Eamonn]

Hi and Welcome,

Please don't think I'm nit picking.

There is one little thing that has been bugging me a bit since I read this.

That is " our boys have tried to talk to him"

I can't help thinking that if he has joined the Troop he is one of the "Our boys".

I'm also working on how if he has just recently joined the Troop;"some of the boys refuse to share a tent with him" ?

I suppose it comes down to what recently means?

 

As for the problem.

This really is not your problem.

As I see it by the time a child reaches a certain age he is responsible for doing certain things.

While it might be OK for a Cub Scouter to remind Cub Scouts to wash their hands and brush their teeth. I expect a normal healthy Lad of Boy Scout age to have learned this stuff at home.

My role as a Leader is to deliver a program, not teach things that parents should do at home.

If there was some sort of a problem, that was beyond the Lad's control. It of course wouldn't be his fault and educating the other members of the Troop in what a Scout is Kind is all about would be in order.

Other than maybe going over the points of the Oath and Law that deal with being Clean and Physically fit and talking with the Lad's parents (Which you have done). There is nothing to do.

I find the idea of allowing bullying in any shape, way or form to be just wrong and far more serious than body odor.

 

Many years back in the UK,it wasn't uncommon for Scouts to be given "Tags". Some might say that these were harmless nick-names.

I have had Scouts who have had nick-names, but these were never seen as being unkind. The "Tags" I'm talking about are the short kid being called "Tich" the heavy-set Lad being called "Tubs" and the kid with a odor problem being called "Stinky".

Sadly a lot of this sort of thing was the work of the adults in Troops.

I'm sure they seen it as being fun and some were even daffy enough to think that this in some way helped build these Scouts into men.

Of course they were 101% wrong and name calling like this is a form of hazing.

I'm sure this isn't the case in the Troop you serve, but you might want to keep an eye out to make sure that this Lad doesn't become a victim of this very un-scoutlike behaviour.

 

Eamonn.