How do you get Boy Scout parent to butt out

[Photodog]

Just happened to stumble onto this discussion and thought I'd offer some not seen, or I missed it advice.

 

You should have a Unit Commissioner or if not, an ADC keeping watch over your unit. If you dont contact your District Comish or the District Executive.

Allow your UC, ADC or DC to help you. They can be the This is the BSA Policy Person. (Good Guy / Bad Guy)

 

As one of the ADCs/UC's for my District I have gotten several help calls/emails from my units where a CM or SM didn;t want to lock horns with the comittee chair or COR

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Where someone won't listen to reason when an ASM (I am also one of those to) or SM (was one of thsoe) tries to point out an issue that needs to be corrected, that person may be willing to listen when an outsider. When a UC/ADC or DC walks in to a unit meeting, sharply dressed in their BSA uniform and looks like a Scouting poster, they bring a presence with them that gets attention and demands creditability.

A heart to heart discussion about BSA policies and procedures at the next Committee meeting would allow the UC to advises the troop on why BSA does things using the Patrol method. This can accomplish several things. 1) You do not become the object of resistance trying to change the way things have always been done.2) The UC becomes the go to guy/gal for policy clarification. 3) The UC can push / pull with out hurting feelings because they, unlike you are not in the Units social pecking order. And 4) can offer alternatives like letting the whole patrol sleep in the church or ever the whole unit. OR, It has been my experience that when you single out boys at this age for special treatment, it only leads to them getting picked on by the other boys. I think it would really be better for your son to stay with the other boys dont you?

I am sure that he appreciates your concern but may not want to say anything to upset you."

Let the UC take the heat. If he/she needs to, they can call heavy reinforcements. We had a problem with one unit. A Cub Scout mom thought she should be in charge and was telling everyone else how to do their job including telling the DE that the comittee chairman shoudl be fiired.

We invited in a woman ADC, 30 years in scouting, 3 sons who were Eagles and the type of personality that didnt take any prisoners to a committee meeting to discuss this moms concerns. Once we got thru the Im a poor single mom and all I want is a good program for my boy to be a part of and I dont think the current leadership is providing that. Routine, the ADC, speaking as a single mom herself got the problem resolved. She also got the other adults on track. (There were some issues.) And, had everyone not trained signed up for training in short order.

Not to be sexist guys and gals, but many times, women listen to women better than they do us men.

 

If the issue is not using Blue Cards, a UC can inquire about the problem by advising that Council was checking on how the units were using the blue cards and I was just checking on how they are working for you. What? Your not using the blue cards? That is not the BSA way to handle MB advancements. OMG! what can I do to help you guys get in tune with the program? Once again, you are off the hook. Plus everyone loves to blame those knuckle heads at council and National for everything pertaining to book keeping requirements any way.

 

One of the greatest things about scouting, for adults, is the availability of assets to help you improve the program. If you dont have a Unit Commissioner, call the District Commissioner or the District Executive and find out if you have one. If you ask why they havent been by or if you dont have one, let them know you need one. You are not ratting someone out.

They may have thought your unit didn't have any problems and were focusing on one that did. Your unit deserves a UC.if the current individual isn't dong the job, the ADC needs to know.

 

I was an adult scout for 16 years before I saw a live UC and like the joke goes, now I are one.

The Commissioner Corps is ther to help, give us a call.

 

[John-in-KC]

Gonzo my friend,

 

1 + year on, can you give us some feedback?

[Gonzo1]

Well, a year or more later and this one comes back to life.

 

My son is still in the troop, but due to life changing events, I'm not with the troop anymore. I was an ASM and the UC, the area ADC is also the COR. I moved away for a job and the family stayed back. The new job didn't work out, I returned to town, but only temorarily, as I will leave again for a new job in about 3 weeks. When I left, the ADC assigned another UC who brought his son to the troop, the son became frustrated and left, I don't know who is UC now, but of course, the ADC knows.

 

My son sees the troop as adult led with some boy led parts, but maily adult led. He's frustrated with meetings being used mainly to plan the next campout menu and play ball outside. Then more menu planning next week only to have an adult change it or tell everyone to bring their own food and "cook" individually. The blue card thing is mainly straightened out, the troop uses them and uses a MBC list that someone has.

 

There is one mom who is pushing her son to get an Eagle and get out. She works at a bank and is MBC for several Eagle required MB's and tries to hold classes so her son can hurry up and get done.

 

I suggested that the sommittee get trained, back they pushed back and said they were. I asked them why they don't apply what they learned and they thought I was nuts. Here's a good one: The boys elect APL's and ASPL. Then, after 6 months, the APL's and ASPL move up to PL's and SPL. It's a little odd.

 

They still have dads cooking for scouts from time to time. It's still frustrating. In many ways, it's still like a webelos III den, but larger.

 

My son went to summer camp with another trop because of a schedule conflict, he knew many of the boys there and has decided to transfer to that troop. They are truly boy led, boy run with a quality program. I know the SM, and many ASM's and many committee members.

 

I now firmly believe the UC should not have his son in a tropp he serves.

 

He / him used for ecomony in communication. I know many female UC's and other scouter roles.

 

[mmhardy]

Maybe for the sake of your son's life experience, and enriched scouting career, that you ask him if he would consider looking at other troops.

 

We like to think of units as a McDonald's. All should be the same. However experience tells us all that that is simply not the case.

 

My view is that troop membership is a two way street.

[John-in-KC]

Gonzo,

 

Thanks. PM or email me. Let me know what's in your life.

 

John