Acting out-- harming others

[Eagle309]

We have a scout with a very bad home life. Scouting/outings are one his main ways out of his house and the only good values he is exposed to. He earns his own money (newspaper route) to pay for them all. His behavior however has always been marginal.

Last couple of troop meetings he has gotten worse though. If the boys are off doing anything that is not directly supervised by an adult (is something as simple as a hike thru the woods), another boy ends up getting hurt (snow or mud rubbed in face, tackled, etc). This past weekend we were on a council training outing. The adults were away from the boys most of the time. The boys were (IMO) adequetely supervised, but were expected to funuction as a patrol on their own. The adults cabins were a ways away from the boys.

 

I heard nothing about harmful acts till we were heading home and the two boys I was driving said it was their worst campout ever and they were considering transfering to another troop. (One boy is my son.) Our 'problem' scout had thrown stone laden mud, snow/ice, and sticks at them. On many other occassions he gave them "cup checks"-- his phrase for a punch to the groin. My son came home with scraps on the back of his hand and with a twisted ankle from being tackled.

 

It is obvious that the troop cannot be safe from harm let alone a safe haven with this boy around unless an adult is watching over at all times which is not the way scouting works nor is it feesable in an outdoor environment.

 

I have my PLC meeting tomorrow and I am sure this campout will be the main topic of discussion. They could well tell me they want the boy out. Our TC is also thinking over how to act. I also have a call into the DE for advise. My first inclination would to have been to require he have a parent/guardian with him at all troop meetings and funuctions, but this would never happen. I plan on having a SMC with the boy tomorrow evening too so he recognizes what he did is unscoutlike in many ways, try to see what is happing with him in his personal life, and see what he proposes we do about his problem.

 

Any additional advise on how we should proceed would be greatly appreciated.

 

[eagle90]

As much as we like to think that Scouting is for everyone and this boy needs it probably more than most, you cannot let one boy ruin Scouting for the other 20+ boys in the troop. If the parent doesn't want to accompany his/her son, I wouldn't hesitate saying "Good-Bye". We cannot be everything to everybody. Sorry if this sounds harsh.

 

Dale

[kb6jra]

I think we're all guilty of this one thing: If at all possible we take it upon ourselves to deliver Scouting to as many youth as we can. We especially see a need to give scouting to those who in our estimation, need it the most, like your young man.

 

I remember being the SPL of my troop as a kid. I took the job again after the troop had some issues in staying afloat. I was 17 and it was my last summer as a youth. Earlier that summer we had two new boys join the troop. One young boy (11 ish) and his older brother (14). The 14 yo was developmentally disabled and very aggressive. I was a big kid, 6'4" and about 220. This kid was 5'10" and 250 and loved to play tackle football. Capture the flag turned into tackle football. Steal the bacon turned into tackle football...you get the picture.

 

We went to summer camp, back then it was acceptable for one adult to accompany the troop to camp. My Scoutmaster took us, but he had heart troubles that week and stayed in his cot almost the entire week. I got stuck with managing the troop.

 

It would have been ok, except we had Mr. Tackle Football with us. He nearly ruined camp for me any everyone else because of his aggressive behavior. I finally went to my SM and demanded that he deal with the kid. He did, had a quick talk with him and explained the situation. The boy was reasonably quiet the rest of the week. We didn't see him after summer camp either. To this day I'm not sure what was said between the two, but I can only imagine...

 

This kid needed what scouting had to offer, I think all boys do. But he was not a willing participant and shoving it down his throat wasn't the obvious answer. The troop would have imploded had he not left, I know I would have had a difficult time sticking with the last 6 months of my youth experience had he stayed. Unfortunately Spock was right "The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few, or the one".

 

Besides, if this kid is "cup checking" this little bit of sport can be construed in some circles as sexual abuse. It's happened before.

 

Good luck

 

[scoutldr]

I would have the TC have a chat with his parents, and explain in no uncertain terms that his behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. I would also explain that physical contact such as this could be considered assault and battery, should the other scout's parents decide to press charges or sue civilly for bodily injury. Not to mention violation of numerous BSA policies regarding YP and hazing, which we as leaders are obligated to prevent.

[jr56]

Unfortunately, this boy has committed several acts which constitute assault, and possible harrashment. You have several boys ready to quit, you can't sacrifice the needs of the entire troop for this one boy.

[Beavah]

Unfortunately Spock was right "The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few, or the one".

 

Yeh know you're gettin' old when in a thread about youth behaviors someone mentions Spock and you don't think at all about the guy with pointy ears.

 

This has gotten fairly serious and maybe can't be rescued at this point, but I'd like to have seen a step or two before the noose. Not SM conferences or talking, especially several days after the fact. Solid consequences delivered close to the time of the incident. "Joe, your PL said you threw something at someone, you miss out on the rest of the activities this afternoon and get to spend it (doing some hard labor) with the adults." "Joe, I'm sending you home with Mr. & Mrs. Jones right now. If you want to come on a campout again, I expect (written apology, some other task)".

 

You've probably been through all this and just didn't mention it. I just think expulsion is a poor first consequence.

 

Yah, like everyone has said, you have to make it work for all the kids, and you have to be realistic about your resources. If yeh recognize that he needs to be adult supervised all the time then that's what you have a responsibility to do. No excuses, eh? And if yeh can't do that, or aren't willing to spend your scouting time doing that, then it's best to be honest and say "we don't have the ability to support this boy with what he needs."

 

Good luck with it. Prayers and best wishes. Nuthin' harder than having to say goodbye to a kid.... 'cept having one hurt.

 

Beavah