Where did I go wrong?

[Eamonn]

I just read " The Last Child In The Boat?" an article in Boat/US Magazine.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0BQK/is_6_11/ai_n16881636/pg_1

 

As yet I haven't got around to reading Last Child In The Wood: Saving Our Children From Nature Deficit Disorder.

 

I think maybe because I was born and raised in a big city or maybe because as a kid I was packed off to spend most of the summer at my Grand-parents farm in Ireland? Or maybe because I was a Scout? I really enjoy the outdoors.

Sadly this love doesn't seem to have been past on to my son.

Sure he has been in Scouting for a very long time, but going to camp was more about spending time with his mates than anything to do with nature.

He looks upon an invitation to join Rory and myself on our big long walk as if I was trying to push extra chores on him.

I love to hike. He thinks parking the car in the next aisle is a waste of his energy.

Sailing would suit him better if there were more horsepower.

Winter is cold, water is wet,grass makes him sneeze, summer is hot. "You don't think I'm pooping there?" Farms are smelly, zoos are boring! The list goes on.

Sadly I can't help thinking that unless he makes me a Grand-dad while I'm still in good fettle, his kids are never going to get to enjoy the great outdoors.

I can't help thinking that somehow I failed him?

Maybe we all failed him?

Maybe if the time spent at summer camps hadn't been about rushing from merit badge to merit badge? Maybe if the programs hadn't been so programed? Maybe more time spend in muddy puddles or making mud pies?

Maybe I can do a better job with the Scouts I now serve?

Ea.

[local1400]

E- you gave your all. But maybe the lad just doesn't enjoy what you do. I love my Dad, but I am my own person with my own interests. You didn't do anything wrong-sounds like you gave your son lots to do and see from your various posts of trips and tales. I have to admit, I have envied some of the things you have experienced. Treasure them.

[scoutldr]

Ea, you're not alone. I think that's just the lot of this generation of youngsters. They love their creature comforts, which we have busted our butts to provide them. Very few scouts that I know will say they like being out in the elements. Heck, my sons (28 and 24) aren't even interested in getting married and becoming parents! My oldest says kids are a pain and too expensive (True!), and would hinder his lifestyle. My younger expressed a desire to re-register in the BSA and work with the Troop, so I paid the fee and sent in the paperwork. But every Monday night, he seems to have something better to do...like watch TV. Much less spend a weekend in the woods. For the Generation Y, it's "all about me"...they will do only what they want to do when they want to do it.

[Lisabob]

I suspect it is as much about the age as any generational thing or dislike of the outdoors. Give him a little time to grow on his own and you may be surprised to see him return to those same activities that, right now, he has no interest in pursuing. In the meantime, there are at least other people's kids with whom to share your love of the outdoors! And they're lucky to have you around.

[Beavah]

Yah, I dunno if it's in the Last Child book.

 

I think the research suggests that the number one thing that correlates with kids growin' up to enjoy nature, and be concerned about conserving nature is...

 

Unstructured, free-play time outdoors.

 

Just like your time on the farm in old Ireland, eh?

 

And by the way, a Happy St. Paddy's day to yeh, yeh old Irishman! May the luck and the blarney of your native sod never desert yeh, in this life or the next.

 

Beavah

 

 

 

[GernBlansten]

Different strokes for different folks.

Back in my youth, I wanted nothing but heading into the wild and scaling a mountain. Dad wanted nothing to do with it. Foolishness he called it. Didn't deter me. I climbed, camped, summited, froze, shivered, starved. Dad stayed at home, shaking his head every time I loaded up the VW bug, but smiled every time I returned. That was the 1980.

It ain't generational. Its just different strokes for different folks.

 

[SueM]

Eamonn,

 

I'm going to go a different way then most have so far...

You didn't fail! As with many things when kids are growing up..sometimes they deliberately TRY to hate things just as a way of showing their independence and individuality. They hate to admit that they like the same things good ole dad does sometimes. But you know, in 5..10 years from now, it'll be a different story! When he has kids of his own, he'll remember all these times in a different perspective. He'll appreciate things differently and understand!! Don't give up!! Someday he'll come to you and say "Thank you!"

 

Sue M.

[ASM915]

I agree with Beav. Unstructured outside play, definitely. I've been fortunate with two sons who love to be outdoors, granted that was where they've been since the spring of their first years. Tenting in April in heavy sleepers and the occasional snowsuit. The oldest was on the water at 5 months propped on cushions or papoosed. They were allowed to play in the forest around the site, play in the streams, mud etc. They're 20 and soon to be 17 and still can't get enough.They are rare for their generation.

 

Electronics, IPODS, GAMING STATIONS, ETC has ruined their generation when it comes to outdoor activities, unless a party is the activity, or a sport (soccer being the biggest culprit).

 

You tell the kids, "We're going out and plant some trees." or "We're cleaning up the trash from along the stream today." and you get, "Are you kidding? That sounds like work. Do we have to?"

 

You mention Hornaday you might as well mention Mao. The response is the same ,"Who"?

 

Ea, you didn't fail. Most of them just don't care anymore. If it either doesn't get them ahead, make them comfortable or feel good they figure why bother. There is so much apathy today toward the outdoors and conservation/enviromental related activities.

 

Hope the grandkids come soon.

[Lisabob]

"Ea, you didn't fail. Most of them just don't care anymore. If it either doesn't get them ahead, make them comfortable or feel good they figure why bother. There is so much apathy today toward the outdoors and conservation/enviromental related activities. "

 

Ouch. Yes, there's apathy out there. It starts with their parents (and grandparents) though - ie, our generations, folks! I just think it is way too easy to take a "kids these days!" approach and write them off. Things have changed, sure, and some not for the better. But so what, that's beyond our control. We work with the boys as they come to us, or else we pack up our gear and get out of the game.

 

They don't know who Hornaday was? Then teach 'em! You know what, I didn't either until a couple of years ago but I still enjoy the outdoors and have, all my life.

 

Don't know about the rest of you but I've found that it doesn't take much to convince a kid that natural areas are worthy of conservation. They may not all grow up to be avid backpackers and campers, and like Eamonn's son, some are going to go on a hiatus from it for a while as they shift focus to other late-teen activities, but is the rare child that refuses to see the value and beauty of nature, once they've had even just a little bit of positive experience in the outdoors. Hey, it's part of our job to give them that experience!

 

 

[Eagledad]

My thoughts are little different Eamonn. I look back on myself when I was young and dont remember looking up at the trees and sky while I was backpacking. I dont remember the smell of the woods or the quiet of the morning as the light fog faintly hung over the field of wild flowers. Did my scouts, my sons, see the romance of men casting flies in the stream as they sought the elusive trout? Are young eager teenagers capable of stopping to watch such things in the background of green mountains or emerald blue lakes?

 

God has a purposeful design of man. I think maybe you didnt go wrong, you just havent seen the plan blossom into its fullness yet. There is more of you in him than you think.

 

Barry

 

[jr56]

You didn't go wrong at all. Your son is an individual who can choose his own path to follow. Also, just because he feels this way about things at this point in his life, doesn't mean that he won't change his views in a few years.

[anarchist]

Yep Eamonn, you failed!

 

I guess he is a pedophillic, monster, mainlining pharmaceuticals, snorting coke, practicing chainsaw murders and heck he probably even wants to be a lawyer for the ACLU!

 

lighten up on yourself, man...for now he is walking a different path...and it may just lead back to your side one day. Keep in mind that sometimes our sons growing up NOT to be their dads is a victory of sorts...a "new book" so to speak, one that you have writ large upon, of course...but one also that is looking for other horizons...

 

short story...old friend from my days in the scouts...left the program as a Star Scout...wasn't much interested in bugs and skeeter bites or fishing or canoeing or hiking but now (many years later) takes his two daughters camping several times a year because "scouting taught him" he could survive outdoors and he gets a charge out of showing the girls "old tricks"...When I was in hospital "and very low" this last year he "confessed" that he had been very jealous of my two sons and me with all of our scouting adventures that he would love to try again...but with daughters would probably not get the opportunity to over indulge...

 

there is hope...it just might need to have time to blossom in other fields first!

 

(I'm just hoping there is life after scouting for us oldsters)

 

gh

[Oak Tree]

Eamonn,

 

I'm sure you haven't gone wrong at all. And we'll have to wait and see if OJ returns to the outdoors more. I certainly did after I had kids.

 

I do think that unstructured (or semi-structured) play is a great thing. I haven't read the book on Nature Deficit Disorder, although I've heard the author be interviewed. I know he's on to something, and is describing a real phenomenon. But yet, among my Scouts, when I ask them what they like most about Scouting, they almost all say that they like to camp. When I talk to the rising Cub Scouts about what they hope to do in Boy Scouts, they say they want to camp. So, I'm not so quick to say that kids today are that much different. Some like the outdoors more than others, but in general it seems like a pretty easy sell for most of them.

 

Oak Tree