Dropping Out

[Beavah]

How do your troops make sure that the kids are engaged and accepted in the Troop? My son isn't the only kids that this happens to... There are other kids that are on the fringe of the troop, if you will. What about the kid that no one wants to tent with? The kid that others ignore? What do you do with kids that aren't included by the others?

 

Yah, hard question, eh? In reality, I don't think there's any way to "make sure" a given kid engages/is accepted. Too much depends on issues of "fit" that aren't controllable. Some kids respond well to loose, informal troops. Some yearn for high structure. Some love to compete. Some hate competition.

 

All the assorted alphabet soup programs come down to some very simple things, though. To engage and be accepted, a boy has to be encouraged to try, and has to experience success. Early and often.

 

Dat's why FCFY - to try to create more successes early on. Kinda lame, institutional way to do that, but dat's all top-down can get you. Real success here is bottom-up. Most scouters try to get 1st year boys to summer camp, largely because it provides a lot of small opportunities for encouragement and small successes. One boy is a good tree-climber; one is a good swimmer. Another gets an archery bullseye, another knows funny songs for da campfire. Camp creates lots of chances for success in front of peers, and a lot of doin' things together. Dat's what makes friends and engagement.

 

Very active troops accomplish the same thing, eh? The more active the program, the more opportunities for success. Similarly, the more active the boy, the more the boy tries, the more possibilities for success and (peer) recognition. Same with sports, eh? Da more times at bat, the greater the chance for the one hit that makes all the strikeouts go away.

 

In my experience, Lisa'bob is right; the best bet are havin' great scouters workin' with the kids, eh? Ones that try to find each boy's interest/strength, and help him to find success. And then trumpet it - talk it up in front of the other boys. "Yah, dat was so cool when Luke immitated my silly Minnesota accent at da campfire last night, eh?" And if an older boy actually calls a young boy "cool." Wooh. Dat's solid gold, eh?

 

As a den leader, first, recognize your limitations. There's not that much you can do. Don't grade your success or failure as a den leader on this. After that, I'd suggest:

 

1) Lots of different activities, done as impromptu teams. Rotate 'em up to avoid cliques. Give each boy in your den a chance to shine, and build confidence.

2) Lots of outdoors, with unsupervised/independent/adult-free time. That's where the action is in Boy Scoutin'. If your boys come with some confidence & good habits, that'll go a long way to generatin' early successes.

3) Help each boy find a good fit in a troop. I wouldn't get hung up on structural stuff - FCFY or not, NSP or not, etc. The structure doesn't matter that much, as long as the adults and youth are comfortable with the structure and use it well. Are the boys welcomed and included/valued, or baby-sat? Are the first activities for visitin' webelos or new scouts ones where the young guys can have fun and succeed on their own terms? Does a boy "make a connection" with an adult or older boy in the troop (i.e. he goes home feelin' the older boy is a friend, and he wants to be like him?)

[Stosh]

Scouting isn't everyone's cup of tea. If you have a boy that drops out for some other activity, it's just the way it is. I had a boy drop out after just a couple of years in scouts, and his two younger brothers are Eagle Scouts. Go figure.