Horseplay /Playing with the Scouts

[Eamonn]

A couple of Lads who attended the 2001 Jambo came over the house last night.

One gave me an 8 X 10 photo he had taken at the closing show. The photo is of the all the Scoutmasters in full uniform, but with dark glasses and their Jambo ball-caps on backward dancing like crazy.The Lad who gave it to me said he can't remember when he laughed as much.

The dark glasses and silly hat wearing came from me!! I love to play around and at times let everyone know that even though I'm an old codger I still can let my hair down!

The Sea Scouts know if they are in my car on a trip that I'm OK with them playing their I-pods through the car stereo, but I don't want to listen to the songs that are not nice.

At the end of the day it all comes down to respect.

I respect them and I hope that they respect me.

We have a couple of younger Scouts (15 or so) who at times don't know when to say when!

Discipline is very important in Sea Scouting, messing around in boats is anything but messing around!!

Trying to get Scouts to understand that there is a time and a place for everything, is I think an important life lesson. I suppose I could stop playing the fool, which at times I do!! This would make things a little less confusing for the Scouts, but it wouldn't be as much fun.

I was a little disappointed when in another thread someone was saying that the Troop they serve had attended a great weekend which had something to do with the war of 1812 and involved cap guns. Very soon after someone brought up the G2SS!! Come Off It!! Get A Life!!

We have water fights all the time and use water guns. Yes some activities are not allowed, but don't let's get silly about this. We have Scouts who have all the equipment needed for Paintball, on trips they discuss different types of equipment, I don't know a thing about it, we as a Ship don't offer it as an activity and I have never brought it up and the Quarterdeck hasn't mentioned it. If they did I would explain the BSA guidelines.

Many years ago when I was younger and the old bones didn't hurt as much, I used to wrestle and roughneck with the Scouts, I was known to participate in a game of British Bulldog (Look it up.) Thinking about it I'm not sure why?

What was I trying to prove?

Was I really such a bad Leader that I needed to let them know that I was bigger and stronger then there were -Sadly of course that is no longer true!!

Or was I just trying to be a kid again?

There was a time when I was a boy when being a good or the best fighter was very important. I'm not sure I can remember at what age it stopped being important I think it was sometime around 14 -16. While I never was very good I was on the rugby team (Hooker) and this did provide me with the protection of hanging out with the biggest and roughest (not the baddest) kids in the school.

At heart I'm a big softy. I can handle just about anything, but I'm not very good with tears. I hate to see anyone cry. I know that I do have a very cruel streak inside of me and have at times let it get out of hand when OJ has pushed it a little too far. So far in 30 years as a Leader I don't think I have let it get out of hand with any youth members.

I also know that at times I can be a real tease, I do my best not to let this get out of hand, when it does I'm normally trying to get my own back on someone who has upset me -Normally an adult. Not very Scout-like I know but true.

I also am aware that I have a really terrible temper. When I say terrible I mean really bad. I'm so very scared of it that I go to great lengths to keep it in check and it's been so long since I last let it get the better of me that I can't remember when.

I really think being aware of how I'm feeling is a very important part of being a leader.

While very often just being with Scouts or Scouter's can raise my spirits, there are times when that big dark cloud hangs over and dealing with anything that might or could upset me is just the wrong thing to do.

Fun is the fuel of Scouting.

While I now know that "Controlled Risk" has replaced "Save Haven" I still prefer the Safe haven, where no one gets harmed in body or in spirit.

I still see adults in swimming pools with kids jumping all over them, while they pick the little Lad's up and playfully toss them back into the water. I don't think this is a bad thing, but what happens when someone gets hurt or a hand ends up in the wrong place?

Eamonn.

[jr56]

I know, pretty sad when you have to try to predict every possible scenario of everything you do. No matter what you do, somebody can complain about it. I'm at a loss of what to do. I do know that I have curtailed my interaction with the youth for my own protection.

[resqman]

Reading this forum has gottem me so parinoid I am afraid to touch the scouts at all. There are times I think a pat on the shoulder or a hug would go a long way. A hardy Well done! does have the same direct impact that a physical touch does.

 

I believe it puts a wall between the leaders and the boys. If we are afraid to touch them, they realize that something must be wrong. That wrong might be misinterpeted as something wrong with them. I am so tired of everything being so PC!

 

I hate living in fear all the time that I might have somehow overstepped some magical boundry that might offend some hyper-sensitive whinny sue happy busy body. Ugggh!

[Eamonn]

While things are not what they used to be.

Which might be a good thing?

It seems to me that some see a lot more in the G2SS than I ever have.

Eamonn.

[Gonzo1]

It seems that playing with scouts should be OK, but any contact or perceived contact could be taken wrong. Make sure the next time you play British Bulldog you pair up with another adult (of the same gender), same for Steal the Bacon but you should be fair game on Capture the Flag.

 

Gonzo1

[Lisabob]

I don't think I am a G2SS goon. I agree people can get carried away with it sometimes, to the detriment of all. I love to be silly with the kids. My alter ego "goofy camp counselor" emerges from time to time.

 

But I do have concerns sometimes about what would be "horesplay" if it were just the adults. Case in point. There are a couple of boys in my son's troop who are physically big and strong for their age. Heck, one of them at age 14 is larger than many of the adults, and the other one probably will be as he gets a little older. These two boys lack maturity or responsibility though. They don't know where the boundaries are. It is utterly predictable, and I have seen it. If some adult were to start playing "dunk" or tossing the kids in the pool it would be one thing because the adult probably has an inner sensor telling him/her where to stop, where the line is. But next thing you know, one or both of these boys will be doing the same thing and they DO NOT have that inner sensor (or it isn't tuned to the same station). And that's when things go wrong.

[Beavah]

But next thing you know, one or both of these boys will be doing the same thing and they DO NOT have that inner sensor (or it isn't tuned to the same station). And that's when things go wrong.

 

Yah, all adolescent boy horseplay only ends with adult supervision or with a boy cryin', eh? It's the nature of the beast.

 

But horseplay is still important, and not something to be banished. Where do you think those older boys and adults get their inner sensor from? It ain't from readin' it in a book, or listenin' to an adult lecture. It's from the experience of goin' too far, and endin' up cryin - or goin' too far, and endin' up making your friend cry.

 

Cuts, scrapes, bruises and tears are a part of growin' up, and we can't and shouldn't take them all away. Yah, yah, adults should be reasonably mindful of safety for any particular environment (no horseplay next to the 80 foot cliff, eh?), and should coach older boys on guidelines and boundaries. But relyin' on constant full-out adult supervision only raises dependent, not independent, young men.

 

One of the interestin' things about all our safety-mongering is that we rarely make things more safe. As we've insisted on helmets and pads, boys have simply gone on to catch more air and do more impressively insane stunts. There needs to be risk-taking, and flirting with the edge in their lives.

 

 

[Eagledad]

I believe that we lead our lives by dodging our fears. In fact I usually tell leaders that adult fears are the limitations of boy run troops. Usually the more boy run, the more the adults have trained their scouts past their adult fears.

 

Naturally Boys usually learn the limits of their fears by their natural drive of pushing themselves in physical actvities. Whether it is using tools, going as high as we can and then coming down as fast as we can, jumping in to test the waters and pushing ourselves to go as fast as we can, we boys are driven to it by instinct. Women on the other hand have a different drive to jugde before they leap. Their caution is derived from the instinct protect their young until they reach a maturity to compete in the world. The balance between the two is letting the boys go far enough to learn the skills to succeed, but not so far as to get permantly injured. Thus the constant struggle between mom and dad, or male leader and female leaders.

 

We are talking about horseplay and such things here, but I see this in our discussion of woods tools and power tools. Scouting is a wonderful place to learn the limitations and safety of power tools, yet it gets a lot of cold water thrown on the idea because of the fear.

 

One other observation that hasn't been thrown out, I know parents worry about the older scouts, but I found in manny cases that older scouts or Troop Guides get hurt a lot. First they would be the cool Older Scout by horse playing with one or two new scouts, but it wouldn't take long before all the new scouts are jumping in the act and the one older scout is pleading for his life.

 

Barry

[Fuzzy Bear]

 

We just don't want anyone hurt. Having a book based on past mistakes lowers the risk but we still wind up erecting large tents with metal poles under electric lines when we know that we should have looked first. The Jamboree accident will forever ring in my ears as something that any of us might be prone to do. We get in a hurry. We get excited. We want to get on to other things and we don't look up.

 

One leadership skill today may be to slow everything down and to think. Slowing things down may apply to anything from erecting tall tents to not engaging in horseplay. It is when things get speeded up that problems occur. Too many, too fast, too much. I have been too tired and began to take short-cuts. I let my guard down and have tried to do things the easy way.

 

Slowing things down, I believe, also applies to hugging a Scout. A hug is just about the best thing that we could do for each other. It helps us get through difficulties. It is fast and has meaning attached. Sometimes, we may not be able to avoid it because it is a natural expression of our emotions. It still may be that we should slow down our outpouring of affection. The reason is that most Scouts know you have compassion for them. They know that you are willing to walk the extra mile. They know that you are working a full time job and that you are spending your time-off, spending your money, spending your best efforts to help make a worthwhile program. It may not be stated as such but it is there. They know. FB

 

 

[evmori]

There is nothing wrong with having fun with the Scouts we lead. If we just sit there and are afraid to interact with them then there is a problem.

 

Ed Mori

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10

[Fuzzy Bear]

I have yet to fail to have fun with Scouts. A person must go out of their way to miss it. The Adult Association method of Scouting truly has value. FB