Calling a Scout

[dan]

I had what I thought was a very interesting call on Tuesday night. I had to call a soon to be 16 year old scout, not in the scout troop I serve, he is a Staffer (youth) for NYLT (National Youth Leadership Training), (I am a Scoutmaster for NYLT) this scout has been blowing me off for 3 weeks, which rubs me the wrong way. I called his house and asked to talked to him, saying this is and said my name. His mom (At this time I did not know that it was his mother) said that she did not know if he was home, let her check (how do you not know if your son left the house? yes I know I am being catty) He was not home, I left a message with his mother to have the scout call me, (I was not expecting a call back from him, this was the fourth call to this scout with only one other callback.) Five minutes later his father calls (who is also a staffer on NYLT) and told me that his wife was upset that a adult called her son, and she did not know who it was. His father told me that when I call I need to say that I am with NYLT, so his mother knows why I am calling her son. It was not a very pleasant phone call. After about 5 minutes of his talking, I let out a big sigh and said, she could have asked.

 

Has society gotten so bad that adult associations has to be done through a guardian on a phone?

 

How would you even know if it is an adult on the phone? My 16 year old sons voice is as deep as mine?

 

When you call a scout do you announce who you are and why you are calling to whoever answers the phone, without them asking?

 

The scout did call me back that night, which was a good thing.

 

Yes I needed to vent.

[OldGreyEagle]

I understand your vexation Dan, but I also understand the parents view as well.

 

The first time I called our Venturing Crew President, Molly was a high school junior (she just graduated from Smith)and when I asked for Molly, her mother's voice froze the line from her house to my ear as to who wanted her? From that point on I always start with "This is Mr GreyEagle from the Crew" and then asked the whereabouts of the youth.

 

Should it be this way? no, it shouldnt, but I guess I prefer a parent who demands to know what adult is caling their child to one who yells up the stairs "Hey, some guy wants to talk to you on the phone"

[Crew21_Adv]

Dan,

 

Greetings!

 

This is what I do.......

 

Still, after many years, I do not like the cold call to Scouts. When I do call, which is rare, I announce who I am.

 

Often the Scout or Venturer may run faster than their parent and pick up the phone. After identifying myself, whom they know, the first question I ask is, "Are your parents at home?" Then I state "Tell them Mr Crew21Adv is on the phone with you right now".

 

I get the Scout or Venturer, answering the phone at home alone, on ocassion. I really don't like this. I have emailed parents and stated I spoke to your Scout/Venturer today, regarding; next meeting, next trip, etc.

 

Now... I rarely call Venturers or Scouts (I prefer email) and I always email youth and CC the parents or another adult leader. I will send emails to adults (with only one email address), but I never send an email solely to a youth.

 

Scouting Forever and Venture On!

Crew21 Adv

[campcrafter]

Being as I know most of my boys' parents from church and school, I still always announce myself on the phone by first and last name. If I do not know the parents well or if it is a sibling, I always add "from Scouts" or something like that. Right or wrong as leaders of youth in today's society, it has fallen to us to make others comfortable with who we are and why we wish to talk to their child.

 

Crew21 - while at first I thought your idea a bit much, on second thought it makes sense and I will adopt it. Kind of like 2 deep leadership for the internet.

 

Youth Protection is also Leader Protection.

 

YIS,

cc

 

[CA_Scouter]

Let me contribute another point of view:

 

I have always instructed my children to identify themselves when they make a call, ie.. Hello, this is XXXXX is YYYYY there?

 

I do the same myself, that way, there is no question that my call is legit, I'm not a stranger, that I'm not a telemarketer, etc.

 

From my point of view, its annoying when persons don't identify themselves, and I have to ask them who they are. I disagree with the statement 'should it be this way - no it shouldn't'... I definately think it SHOULD be this way. Its the parents' responsiblity to know who is calling their child and for what reason. AND... I don't have to justify that to anyone.

 

It really sounds like that Dad handled it rather rudely, so perhaps that's really what is the issue here.

 

Crew21 has a good sidebar on this.. asking the child to inform the parents with whom he is speaking. Nice.

 

 

 

 

[Eagledad]

>>I understand your vexation Dan, but I also understand the parents view as well.

[Lisabob]

Sorry you had that kind of exchange w/ the parents Dan. You'd hope that such a concern could be dealt with in a less confrontational manner.

 

Whenever I make calls relating to scouting I always identify myself as "L'bob from Scouts." In my case it isn't so much youth protection issues, as I seldom call scouts. Usually it is more "husband protection" issues. This never occurred to me as an issue (because I really didn't have any ulterior motives for calling!) until I worked on some district membership stuff a while back and ended up calling people I'd never met, all over the district. Got some pretty suspicious wives on the phone, too! Once I started identifying myself right away as being with scouts, I tended to get better results in terms of being able to reach their husbands.

 

Lisa'bob (from Scouts)

[EagleInKY]

I seldom call a scout directly, with the exception of the senior leaders (SPL & Troop Guide in particular). The others would be Eagle candidates working on their project. Since these guys have been around for a while, their parents know who I am and it doesn't come up. Nevertheless, if I call a scout and get a voice I don't recognize, I'll typically handle it like Lisabob.

[t158sm]

Barry you've nailed it down. If the mother was concerned she should have made further inquiries as to why the call was made. Too much of todays society seeks to blame someone else for everything.

[hops_scout]

I think when a Scout is 16, 17 years old he should be able to use the phone without supervision. Somebody said he tells the Scout to tell his parents who the Scout is talking to. I think that is pushing it. 12 year old Scout, sure, but not a 16 or 17 year old leader.

 

Reason I say this is because at 16 or 17 the Scout most likely holds a leadership role and his parents should expect that he could get a call about Scouts. Ask who it was after, sure whatever.

 

I don't know-- this just seems weird to me. Maybe when I'm a parent on the receiving end I'll understand.

[dan]

I have tried this is Dan from National Youth Leadership Training, that only confuses them more.

I have tried this is Dan from Scouts and usually get, you are not in our troop, who are you!

And there is no way I am going to say this is Dan from the Council! There is just something about council calling your son that seems to make people uneasy.

 

I feel that there is no reason to contact a parent every time I want to talk/email a scout. Now I am talking about 14 to 17 year old scouts not first or second year scouts.

I was surprised to read that a Venture Crew Advisor feels that he has to provide parents that he has talked or will be talking to there children. These are 14 to 21 years old. This seems like you should only have to do this if there is an issue you need to discuss.

 

I also would not be uncomfortable talking to a scout if his parents are not home; I find it hard to believe anyone else would either.

 

It seems that we are doing some of the scouts work, the scout should be communicating with the parents, isn't this one of the skills we are trying to teach them?

 

[LongHaul]

Over the years I've called many youth. My father was my Scoutmaster and he always began scout calls with "Hi, this is a Boy Scout call is XXXX home?" I've always used that salutation without even thinking about it. I identify my self as the scout's Scoutmaster when I'm calling a member of my troop but when I get a husband on the line and I'm calling his wife "Hi, this is a Boy Scout call" has worked well for me over the years.(No pun intended)

LongHaul

[Crew21_Adv]

Fellow Scouters,

 

 

Yeah.. You can say I'm overly cautious...

 

On occasion, I have been misquoted by Scouts, Venturers, Scouters, and at work by fellow employees, that don't seem to listen or pay attention. I would expect everyone has. There is a saying, perception is reality

 

The basic idea is that we base our actions on what we believe, and rather than on what is necessarily true, yet those actions can create a world that reinforces our perceptions. While innocent communications are the intention, others can perceive complex situations.

 

FYI..

Here is why I may go overboard on caution. Maybe extreme avoidance you might say. Some instances I have either had or I have tried to avoid. I really prefer speaking with parents first over the phone. Also, I really prefer email, that I way I am responsible for what I type and not for what someone may have heard/misheard.

 

Many years ago, (before email was so popular) As Cubmaster I was calling my Den Leaders to ask if the dens were preparing for advancement and working on their handbooks. On the fourth call to a lady Den Leader (I should have guessed, since I never saw the father participate in two years).

 

After introducing myself as the Cubmaster "Mr Crew21 Adv", and asking to speak to the Den Leader. Of course I cannot see thru the phone, but the husband's speech was slurred, in about 20 seconds he explained to me with derogatory comments and repetitive obscene words his opinion of Cub Scouting and myself, and promptly hung up the phone.

 

We never saw his son, a Bear Scout, or the mother, the Den Leader again.

 

Before excursions, I have told the PLC and the Troop to be at the departure location at specific time and date. We have departed with 28 or 29 out of 30 youth and 5 adults. The majority heard what I said and were at the departure location at the correct time; but still I have had disappointed Scouts and irate parents stating that Mr Crew21 Adv did not say when and where.

 

More recently, in Venturing. (Even after viewing our Venturing Youth Protection Video) Our Co-ed Crew has a young lady that is still very "touchy - feely". After monthly High Adventure trips, she likes to give a good-bye hug to her fellow Venturers (both youth and adult, both ladies and men) at the parent rendezvous point (parking lot). When she comes to me, I turn her to my side and pat her on the shoulder. My fellow male Advisors usually do the same. We simply request her not to hug anymore. Next month, the same thing over again.

 

Even when most of the parents are Scouting adults, and are social neighborhood friends, I still don't think this young lady has captured the idea; that I don't want the young teenagers to hug older adults.

 

Scouting Forever and Venture On!

Crew21 Adv

 

[campcrafter]

 

Dan- regarding your first post, the husband and wife's response were very poor. Sounds like they have "issues".

 

Crew21 - that is sad that you can't hug the girl. I have not seen the Venturing YP video and I am not saying you are any way wrong - I am just saying it is sad our society has gotten to this point.

I still agree with all you have said and you have done a great job explaining how you handle these matters - it has been very helpful. Thanks

 

CC

 

[evmori]

Dan,

Yeah you might have said why you were calling up front but the response you got from dad sorta sounds like mom told a story that was different from what actually happened. You didn't do anything wrong! And considering the reaction you received from the parents, it's no wonder the kid isn't calling back!

 

The acorn doesn't fall to far from the tree!

 

Ed Mori

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10