"The Bully", is there hope?

[ASM59]

This is a continuation about the Scout who has been accused of being a bully. Hopefully, we are on the way to a happy ending. In the same time frame as my posts in the original thread "Who's Telling the Truth?", I was called by the Scout's mother. She wanted me to talk to her son as he is hanging out with the "wrong crowd" outside of Scouts.

 

The next meeting I had to be out of town and did not get to talk to him. The next day, one of our other Scouts called me to let me know that the Police pulled this Scout out of Lunch to talk to him. He returned to class later, and would only say that he was going to "Juvi".

 

It seems that he was hanging with some of these other friends who attacked another boy (just so happens to be one of our other Scouts) and destroyed his bicycle by hitting it with an aluminum bat. The Scout in question only watched and did not participate in the attack or destruction.

 

In the end, he only received a talk from the Police with the advice that he be more careful in the future about who he hangs out with and the next time he could find himself in very big trouble.

 

I got permission from his mother to talk to him about the incident. At our last meeting, we sat down for about a 20 minute conference. We discussed his advancement and how far he wants to go in Scouting. We eased into life outside of Scouting and right into his meeting with the Police. I explained to him that there are reasons that parents get concerned about who their kids hang out with. I asked him about lessons learned and we talked about how to not be found in that situation (or worse) again. As he recounted what happened with the police, the tears were flowing down his cheeks. I explained to him that one of the reasons we volunteer is to provide a place where boys can learn to make the right choices. I told him that we do care about him and don't want to see him make the wrong choices. We ended our conversation with a good discussion about how he comes across to the others on outings. He agrees that he needs help to work on this. He is going to write up some suggestions of how we can help him govern his behavior on outings. We plan to discuss this at our next meeting.

 

ASM59

[MaScout]

Aaaah. It's still no bed of roses, but it is nice when things start to come around, isn't it?

[DugNevius]

There is always hope. I have have a few scouts that had been, at one point, major problems in the troop and at school that, overtime and with some guidence (As well as something specific to do) become very solid scouts. It just takes time.

[SemperParatus]

ASM59,

 

What an opportunity. So glad to see that you have committed yourself to helping this boy adjust his life's perspective.

 

Best of luck to you and the scout for a positive journey and successful outcome.

[Eamonn]

"The mission of the Boy Scouts of America is to prepare young people to make ethical and moral choices over their lifetimes by instilling in them the values of the Scout Oath and Law."

"The Boy Scouts of America is the nation's foremost youth program of character development and values-based leadership training.

In the future Scouting will continue to

Offer young people responsible fun and adventure;

Instill in young people lifetime values and develop in them ethical character as expressed in the Scout Oath and Law;

Train young people in citizenship, service, and leadership;

Serve America's communities and families with its quality, values-based program."

Based on the Mission and Vision statements I would say that there is hope.

I like to think that there is more hope for a Lad in Scouting or a youth organization like Scouting then there is for a Lad who doesn't have the help and support that we can offer.

Still I can't help thinking that we can lead a horse to water, but we can't make him drink.

So far I think I have been blessed because OJ seems to be a good kid -Maybe better than I was at his age. But maybe I had a lot more freedom than he has had.

We live in a small town and low crime area, but still I have heard reports about kids taking drugs and going to school under the influence of alcohol.

Many moons back I know my brother-in-law who was at the time a SM had problems at a summer camp with Scouts using marijuana.

Looking back I'm not sure how good a kid I would have been if it wasn't for Scouts and Scouting.

My parents loved and cared for me, giving me almost anything that I asked for. But my Father was busy making money. He was far better at earning it then spending it. He didn't know how not to work and didn't have much time for his kids. My Mother was a stay at home Mum, but she rarely got involved in anything outside of the home. I don't think she had any idea of what was happening outside of her own little world.

I really like the crowd that OJ hangs out with, most are in Scouting. I do what I can to make it known that his friends are welcome in our house and that I'm doing what I can to be as fair and open minded as I can be.

I give them all heck about driving too fast.

I warn them about doing nasty stuff along with drugs, booze, sex and not working toward a real goal.

Still I know that they are at an age where they will want to try new things and experiment with things that would be better left alone.

I have this strange idea that bad habits can become habit forming??

For some time I had been working with a few local judges (Mostly JP's) about the idea of having kids who get caught doing dumb things having the choice of paying their fines or maybe joining a Scout unit. Up until now, there really wasn't a unit in our area where we could send these kids. But now we have the Ship?

I have no idea if this is going to work or not. But I think it's worth a try. Even if we only reach one or two (I'm hoping we do better) kids and can maybe prevent them from ending up in "The system", it will be worth the effort.

Having the Ship do this also helps when we apply for money from foundations and grants.

Back home a lot of the Scouts we had in the troop had at one time been in some sort of trouble. Sadly those that opted to not stay ended up in more trouble and while we still had a few that did some silly things and got caught, for the most part we kept them too busy to have time to get into any serious trouble.

I felt bad for the Lad's who did end up with big problems, but I didn't beat myself up over it. I felt that I had given it my best. And there were a couple of good kids who also got caught doing some silly things. One who got drunk, stole a car and ran it into tree and ended up dead. I admit I cried when I heard about him and I really had a hard time when I read the lesson at his requiem mass.

We as leaders do bring a lot onto our plates, but if we ever give up hope. We have nothing.

Eamonn.