Kids Access to Email and Internet

[ScoutingEMT]

Funscout.... great points.

 

I'm 20, my brother is 16. I still live at home (joys of going to school locally)

 

To prove how "uncool" I am... I just got a MySpace account 2 months ago so I could participate in 1 group... I've played with it a little, not much.

 

I've been on AIM since I was 16. In that time I've gotten a few "spam" IM's referring to "adult" sites, etc, not too much, and nothing I couldn't just close...

 

I only have dial-up internet at home, so most of my On-line time is from work, school, etc... places where I could get into REAL serious trouble if I was visiting the "wrong" sites. So I don't. Occasionally, I get pop-ups that are "blocked" or find a link that is blocked for something silly (VERY strict internet police at work) ...I've not gotten in trouble yet, but know that it is possible... so I try to avoid "unsafe" sites for down-time visits at work.

 

Anyway.... FunScout... you raise a great point about the computer being in a public place... my parents are the same way. My father is a GNURD (proper spelling of Nerd), and knows more about computers than my brother and I do put together. I know that if he is motivated, my father could track whatever I do... so I am careful.

 

Anyway... When I was under 18, I didn't have any problem with my parents looking at computer usage, etc.... I couldn't password encrypt any files on the computer except for a journal with a unique title that was pre-argeed to. My father would "shoulder surf" my email to make sure there wasn't anything inapropriate going on.

 

Also, Yahoo has a mechanism for Adult supervision of a child's account... not sure how, but they do.

 

Jon

[scoutldr]

Feb 3, 6:20 AM EST

 

MySpace.com subject of sex assault probe

 

HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) -- Police are investigating whether as many as seven teenage girls have been sexually assaulted by men they met through the popular Web site MySpace.com.

 

The girls, ages 12 to 16, are from Middletown and say they were fondled or had consensual sex with men who turned out to be older than they claimed. None of the incidents appeared to be violent, said Middletown Police Sgt. Bill McKenna.

 

He said it was difficult to determine the exact number of victims because some girls have been reluctant to disclose that they met their assailants online.

 

The social networking Web site allows users to create profiles that can include photos, personal information and even cell phone numbers.

 

In a statement Thursday, MySpace.com said it was committed to providing a safe environment for its users. The site, which includes safety tips, also prohibits use by anyone younger than 14, though a disclaimer says the people who run the site can't always tell if users are lying about their ages.

 

 

[funscout]

Scouting EMT:

 

Thanks for giving your perspective, since you grew up with rules similar to those in our family. It sounds like you turned out GREAT! Thanks for the suggestions.

[bourne]

Interesting discussion. My experience (as someone who's only 19) has been that not only are all of hops_scout's points true, they're generally the norm.

 

My question back to all those who advocated total supervision as the solution is how does that teach your kids to make the decisions they'll face when they turn 18 and leave for the real world?

 

To me it seems like a temporary solution. It'll work until (1) they get smarter than you or (2) they leave home (forget college, think library and school).

 

In my experience, the only way to do this is is to educate and prepare. Start by supervising and guiding. Allow apprenticeship of decisions. Occasionally allow failure but always correct. Allow them to solo when ready.

 

After all, you're not really going to go to their dorm room to read their email and chat logs, right?

[johndaigler]

WELCOME, bourne!

 

Good thoughts.

 

In my experience, the only way to do this is is to educate and prepare. Start by supervising and guiding. Allow apprenticeship of decisions. Occasionally allow failure but always correct. Allow them to solo when ready.

 

Your post makes a lot of sense; but IMHO, there's never one "only way to . . ." I think this is the key -- and probably where all the grey comes in. Each child and parent are ready for different amounts of "educate, prepare, supervising, guiding, apprenticeship, . . ." at any given point. By sharing our diverse ideas here, we (parents and children) give ourselves a chance to clarify our thinking and test out our versions. I don't imagine there are too many people (especially Scouters) who would worry you with their version of "total supervision".

 

I can't speak for others, but my version is knowing what my children are up to as much as possible. I'm pretty subtle about it and non-invasive, but I try to know what my sons are doing even when I'm not standing over them. I know their teachers, friends, friends' parents, etc. What I want to teach them is that whether their behaviors are "observed" or "unobserved" doesn't change the quality of those behaviors. They're respectful, safe, intelligent, kind, . . .; or they're not.

 

Going back to Sir Scoutalot, for example, not only does he get to test out his ideas, but he can come back two years from now - read this thread and have an entirely different perspective and experience base with which to participate. He might still call it "total supervision"; but, I'll bet, it'll look quite different.

 

For me, my sons are 6 and 9. My total supervision needs to look quite a bit different from parents who have BSA age children. The issues and worries aren't different - just the actors and contexts.

 

jd

 

ps>> It's not really pre-ordained that kids grow to be smarter than parents.