Cub Scout hits another cub scout on outing

[DEN8113]

We went on a ski outing and one cub scout hit another on the ski lift severe enough to bloody both his nose and mouth. The offending boy (10 years old - possible learning disability - doesn't pay attention at meetings - tries to disrupt by getting others to join in with him) is from a divorced young single parent family and the other (9 years old - bright, athletic, well rounded - and my child) is from a very -maybe overly structured family. I am fairly sure the one who was hit was correcting bad behavior (I was told the boy1 was swinging the lift - boy 2 said to stop - he didn't and somehow it ended up boy 2 was hit in the face) and probably have attributed to the outcome.

 

They are boys - both are accountable. I am the den leader and wish to address this at the next den meeting. Are there any resources that address this issue of fighting/violence? I try to teach my children it is inappropriate to hit (although I had to give him permission to hit an older child who was bulleying him a couple years ago - that ended that bulleying). I hate to give permission for my son hit another boy in the den (where I am the leader) but what can be done. Any advise? Any resources? Any experiences you can share?

[SemperParatus]

Sounds like charges could be brought for reckless endangerment, assault and battery...but hey they are just kids, right?

 

I assume this was a first time offense.

 

Speak with the mother (with the offending scout present), explain what happened, tell her your concerns (both as the mother and den leader), let them know in the clearest of terms that this behavior will not be tolerated in your den and that subsequent acts of violence will result in severe consequences (e.g., removal from future den activities, etc). Don't suggest that your son fight back, you want to teach him how to be a gentleman in a civilized society.

 

Document in writing the altercation and your follow-up conversation with the parent/scout and provide a copy to the CM/CC in the event that violent behavior occurs again and more drastic action is needed.(This message has been edited by SemperParatus)

[Fuzzy Bear]

If you start with the rule: Violence in any form is not permitted; then think about what a person should do to maintain that kind of order. It should reasonably lead you to do similar things that most do to prevent such behavior or to act on it when it occurs. Be reasonable, stay alert and calm. Check the damage and find if anything beyond First Aid is needed. Connect the principles of Scouting to the act. Involve the parent. Involve the CM. Any further acts will need more restrictions and more assistance. Good Will is the goal.

FB

 

[ScoutNut]

At LEAST 2 adults are required for every outing. Make sure that the next time you go one of this boys parents is one of the adults.

[johndaigler]

WELCOME, 8113!!

 

Was the ski trip a Den activity or a Pack activity?

 

If it was a Pack activity, then the CM and CC need to fill the authority roles you're considering. If there hasn't been an incident at a Den activity then I think your role should be concerned parent to concerned parent.

 

Please be careful, though. Your post already shows some pre-judging (understandable when it's your son with the bloodied face!). You can't be both a parent and a DL in this situation. You'll end up thinking like one and trying to act like the other.

 

What would you do if the puncher was your son?

 

What would you do if your son wasn't involved in the situation?

 

Are there any witnesses who have a better handle on what actually happened?

 

If the boy has been diagnosed with learning disabilities, the parent and boy's counselors, doctors, etc. should be able to help with corrective and maintenance techniques. You seem to be guessing, so it appears a parent talk is overdue.

 

Semper suggested talking to the parent with boy in tow - if you do that you'll need to have your son there, as well.

 

Permission to hit back isn't an appropriate response.

 

Good Luck,

 

jd

[anarchist]

 

DEN8113

 

Hitting is not allowed...not even by the DL's son...and self defense is not a valid excuse. Unless you are prepared to hold your son to the same standard do not suggest or tolerate the use of force by anyone.

 

As a Webelos DL I had two 'best' friends go at it at a campout...Hitter actually broke his hand on hittees face... We had a pow wow with the dads and the boys... apologies offered and accepted and then the Hitter was sent home. (we knew/figured his hand was broken.. wrapped his hand with a bag of Ice sent him on his way with a distressed Dad)... he thought I was too harsh...Boy is now a Boy Scout knows I do not tolerate violence and is frequently rewarded for showing Scout Spirit above and beyond"!

 

After the appropriate 'first aid'/ blood staunching, was the time to address this matter...I hope it was. The 'hitter' should have been sat down across from the victim (assuming there was a victim) and the matter discussed with another adult present (and since your son was involved...the second adult or another DL should have been running the 'show' at that point. The boys should have been encouraged to find a solution and an appropriate way for the 'aggressor' to apologize. I would hope that the 'hitter' spent some time in the 'penalty box' with the adults -then and there(?)...

 

Next, a meeting with the "hitter" and his Mom/Dad...and the Cub Master with the DL and ADL present...to make it absolutely clear that hitting is not an option and the next occurance (if there is one) will be cause for more drastic action. Document this with the CC.

 

In our Pack (and Troop) the next step (sanction), assuming we are talking about 'the one hit' type fight and not a brutal pummelling... is a requirement that mom is at any and all meetings and activities the boy attends. No Mom = No Boy.

 

But please never encourage your son to resolve conflict with violence...it just has no place in scouting... just walk away and find an adult or in Boy Scouts the SPL