G2SS on Youth Behavior Guidelines-Vebal Insults

[mich632]

G2SS states:"...Verbal insults, ...have no place in the Scouting program..."

 

QUESTION: So what is a "verbal insult"?

 

G2SS lists many other things that I understand:" Physical violence, hazing, bullying, theft, and drugs and alcohol" I think I can define and recognize.

 

But, I'm not sure I totally understand this "verbal insults". Can someone give examples of playful teasing vs. verbal insults?

 

Here's my cut.

 

Two friends assign nicknames to each other. They like each other and the nicknames are a fun game. (teasing)

 

Two boys who aren't friends. One scout starts calling the other scout a nickname. The name is intended as an insult or put down. verbal insult).

 

Or is teasing prohibited?

 

SO BACK TO ORIGIONAL QUESTION. What is "verbal insult"?

 

[Bob White]

In which case do you feel a scout was insukted?

[EagleInKY]

I believe you answered your own question. Teasing among friends is not an insult. The challenge, of course, is to distinguish between the two. If I hear a scout call another scout by a nickname, I try to ascertain whether the nickname is welcome or not. That is often clear by the expression of the recipient of the name-calling. If I'm not sure, I'll ask the boy (off to the side, so the others can't hear). If he's okay with it, then it's fine. If he isn't, then I'll put a stop to it.

 

Insult can be defined as "a rude expression intended to offend or hurt". Most insults are verbal, but there certainly can be non-verbal insults (turning your back, sticking out your tongue, or "flipping them off"). You have to ask the question, is he trying to offend or hurt the feelings of the other. If so, then it's an insult and it should be stopped.

[johndaigler]

I think the issue gets even greyer, because when other boys see the behavior, it impacts their choices. Even if the two friends are fine with the others' words, do you want your other Scouts using those phrases with each other. Boys are potentially thicker skinned (though puberty sends them through some wacky periods), but Cubs can be terribly sensitive.

 

How about this for a test: Do you want your son speaking that way to another Scout, or being spoken to that way?

 

jd

[OldGreyEagle]

I think you have to rely on context and how its received, at one time Baaaad meant bad, now someone who has baaaaad scout skills is good. Being "ridiculous", "insane" and "mad" denotes a good thing. The current Boston Red Sawks call themselves "idiots" so they dont find it insulting, however, many Cubs or Scouts may not appreciate being called so.

 

I think you have to watch the reaction, talk to the scout away from the others as was mentioned.

[Eamonn]

I have always liked : A place where no body gets harmed in body or in spirit.

There are times when the best thing that we can do as adults is wait and see what happens.

Sometimes Scouts need a little time to work things out.

Scout falls in a pool. Not hurt, no harm done. The rest of the Patrol starts calling him "Splash" His pride is hurt and the new name isn't helping. He goes home and over the next few days his pals tell him "Wow you should have seen yourself." They share a good laugh. Now when they call him Splash he smiles.

Maybe if the Lad was getting really upset about being called Splash, the SPL or an adult might want to step in and tell the guys "Hey Guys, lets drop it?"

Insults are hard to deal with. I have a lot of friends that call me different names, some that include the word Limey, some that make reference to my white hair, we trade playful insults.I have no idea what a stranger would think, we know that there is no harm of any sort intended. My son is called OJ by almost everyone, he also gets Juice. That doesn't seem to worry him a bit. Someone found out that he shares the same birthday as OJ Simpson, and they tried calling him Simpson. He didn't like that. It didn't last very long only a day or two. A few of his teachers call him Ollie and that seems OK. But we have a guy from our Council who will be on staff at the Jamboree, he knows that OJ will be a youth staff member, he started calling him Slave.This seemed to upset him and he gave this guy a very un-Scout like name. While I agree with OJ that the guy was acting like what he was calling him!! I will not allow him to talk about an adult like that. Sad thing is that when I asked the guy if he would stop with the Slave bit, he was very surprised and couldn't understand why he was upset.

Come to think of it what OJ was calling this guy would definitely go under the heading of Verbal abuse!! Not that his angelic Father would ever use a term like that!!!

Eamonn

[scoutldr]

Most of us have had sexual harassment training at work...this is analogous. An insult is whatever the receiver decides it is. Therefore, the only proper thing to do is to treat others with respect at all times.

[Hunt]

I think this is one area where it's useful to recognize differences in the way men and women communicate. "You Just Don't Understand," by Deborah Tannen talks about this, and it's very interesting. An example that she gives is the way men and women deal with negative traits in their friends. For example, if a woman has a big nose, her friends will tell her that it's not big, that it fits her face, etc. If a man has a big nose, his friends will call him "Schnoz." In both cases, the friends are expressing that it's OK--but very differently. So I would agree that you have to judge how the nickname or "insult" is being taken by the target.

[Bob White]

I prefer scoutldr's response.

 

As far as the G2ss is concerned it says that teasing, bullying and verbal abuse is not to to tolerated. It also says it is the adult leader's resonsibility to step in immediately and stop it.

 

I support that rule.

 

B:)b White

 

[evmori]

I think OGE has the right idea!

[mich632]

Bob, I guess that's why this forum has some many responders.

 

I have done Fast Start Training.

I have been to NLE and SM specific training.

I have been to Woodbadge.

I teach NLE and SM specific training.

I teach JLT in my troop.

 

I have my own copies of most BSA literature AND I have read it.

I intend on following it.

 

However, many things BSA puts out you read as BLACK AND WHITE.

I read it, I want to follow it. But I don't see BLACK AND WHITE.

 

So I ask questions!

 

 

 

[Bob White]

Mich,

 

I read the BSA program materials, I learn them and practice them until I understand them. That was the personal agreement I signed when I joined, that I would folow the policies and procedures of the BSA. membership is a partnership, my part of the deal is to support and follow the program to the best of my ability, isn't it? Isn't that why you are trying to do the same thing? I do not fault you for trying to understand and follow the program, why would you fault me?

 

Asking questions is good. I ask them too. I asked you one when you first posted the thread and you have not yet answered. Given the two situations you offered wich one or ones do feel insulted the other scout?

 

Bob white

 

 

 

(This message has been edited by Bob White)

[evmori]

mich632,

A verbal insult can be tough to define. And what might be a verbal insult to you might not be a verbal insult to me. That's probably why the BSA doesn't define it and leaves it open to interpretation (like many other things) by the leaders. You will have to be the one making the call since you are the one who is there & can see the reactions 1st hand. I'm not trying to dodge the question, but there isn't really a hard & fast answer. Like I posted before, OGE had an excellent response!

 

Ed Mori

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10