Race seems to be a factor

[zippie2223]

(GREEN, BLUE = races)

 

We have a little boy in our den that seems to blame or emphasize his race for everything. If he loses a game it is because of his race. If he wins it is because of his race.

 

I have talked to his mother about the problem, but every meeting its "I won because all GREEN kids can beat you BLUE kids." or "We are using BLUE construction paper because all you guys are BLUE." or "You let him go first because you are BLUE and so is he." Hopeful we will get more GREEN kids at round up so he doesnt feel like and outsider, but what if we don't? I not sure how to deal with the problem. It can be a very touchy subject.

 

Today, after one of his comments, I pulled him aside and told him that god made everyone equal both BLUE and GREEN. And that, that kind of talk is not allowed in cub scouts. Soon after our talk he was crying because he loss at marbles and said that it was BLUE kids game. I gave him a look and he looked embarrass for a moment.

 

I think they pick a lot of this stuff up at home. I think someone is filling this kids head with junk.

 

 

Am I handling this correctly? I just figure that every time I hear a negative comment I will correct it.

BTW they are second grades, wolf cubs.

 

WISH ME LUCK:

I have been quit for 3 Days, 15 hours, 15 minutes and 54 seconds (3 days). I have saved $17.44 by not smoking 145 cigarettes. I have saved 12 hours and 5 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 9/8/04(This message has been edited by zippie2223)

[dsteele]

I do wish you luck. I think you're on the right track with BLUE and GREEN.

 

I wish you luck on quitting smoking. It hasn't worked for me. I've quit quitting, but admire those who do. Especially if they don't preach to those of us who choose to excersize our rights. Best of luck to you. I should do what you're doing, but, for reasons of my own, will not.

 

Unc.

[fotoscout]

Maybe you need to facilitate a three way discussion with the boy, his mom and/or dad and yourself. Its one thing to hear it from you, if youre blue, but it's another thing to hear it from another green person. I think the message will come through with greater clarity when it comes from another green person.

[Laurie]

I went through this with my own son as a toddler, as he saw some things taking place, and they did tend to come down to blue doing one thing and green doing another. A gentle reminder that all people are equal and that we each need to do our very best at what we do helped, but it was almost daily, at home, gentle, and bit by bit chipped away at some false beliefs he was developing. What you are attempting to do is not easy, but I think you are on the right track too and agree with the others--involve his parents. As a den leader, try to encourage him not to think of the others, blue or green, but instead to focus on doing his own personal best, on doing what he can to help his pack and his den. He may feel insecure, and when he compares himself to others, favorably or not, he will feel more insecure because he isn't seeing his own personal strengths yet. I'd encourage him, but I'd do so in a way that doesn't set him apart--know what I mean? Good luck, and hang in there.

[acco40]

Children of this age have excuses for everything. Some they are just trying to use to buffalo adults and others they really believe in. Nothing is ever thier fault. It may be race, feelings of "you don't like me", views of unfairness and a myriad of other things. I would not try to emphasize it too much. After an outing, I usually privately ask a number of Scouts, sometimes all of them, if they feel they pulled their share, didn't pull their share or did more than their share of tasks. Invariably, they feel they did more than their share of tasks.

 

For example, when picking up the troop trailer for our last outing, one of the patrol coolers and its contents from the previous outing was found in the trailer along with quite a stench. When all of the patrol was together I reiterated that the trailer is not to be used as a wharehouse for the coolers and that perishable foods should never be left in the cooler after an outing. I mentioned no names but every boy had some excuse they wanted to tell me about why is wasn't their fault. I cut them off at the pass. I was not interested on why or who made it happen, just not to let it happen again. It is a hard concept to grasp, group responsibility. I still have adults who find it hard to grasp.

 

As for quitting smoking - according to my brother it is extremely easy. In fact, it is so easy he has done it numerous times!

[Eamonn]

"I think someone is filling this kids head with junk"

Easy there big guy.

I kinda think that we are all big enough to understand that some of our members are white, some are black, some are Hispanic and others might fall into other categories: Native American and Asian come to my mind. We don't need to use Green or Blue.

As an organization we embrace diversity. While I agree with the way you are managing the situation. I do think that saying that someone is filling his head with junk is not very wise.

I was born in England, both my parents were Irish. While my parents were grateful for the opportunities that England made available to them and because they were born before 1926 both could hold British Passports, although at that time no passports were needed for travel or residence in the UK. They were Irish.

Our house when I was growing up was full of other Irish people. Irish music and stories about Ireland. Most of these stories were about how badly the English had treated the Irish. Sadly most of them were true.

I was and am very proud of my Irish heritage. My parents gave me a very Irish name, so before people even met me they had me pegged as an Irish kid. I think of Ireland as the land of poets and scholars. The country that kept Christianity alive during the time of the Roman invasion. Sad to say many people in England seen the Irish as loud mouthed drunken trouble makers. At times because of the reputation that was already in place some of the kids that I grew up with felt that they had to do something to live up to it.

At times we all fall into the trap of wanting people to fit into a "Stereotype". We see someone who looks Chinese or Japanese and we want them to be a expert in the martial arts.

We want Englishmen to wear bowler hats and carry rolled umbrellas. The English want Americans to wear ten gallon hats and talk like John Wayne.

Could it be that the "Junk" that this little fellow has in his head, is similar to the "Junk" that I had in my head? I feel sure that even at his age he has heard about how his people were treated in the past.

A little while back I seen a really good presentation on diversity.

The presenter gave everyone a penny. Some were new pennies, all bright and shiny. Others were old and dull looking, some fell in between.

The presenter asked everyone to look at their penny and then write a list of what they could buy for a penny. Needless to say the lists were not that long and the items listed were not worth very much. She then asked what happens when we put 100 pennies together?

She closed the presentation by saying that while every penny was different, different dates, some bright and shiny and others much darker, the real power is when we put all the pennies to work together.

I do wish you the best of luck with your goal of not smoking. Please don't tell Her Who Must Be Obeyed, she has been on my tail to do so for over twenty years. I don't need to give her any more reasons. She is already saying that I would if I was a nice kind little Eamonn, go outside to smoke!! This is a new tactic, I have a cupboard full of patches, gum, soothing music and two cartons of cigaretts in the car -He He.

Eamonn.

[zippie2223]

Eamonn

"While I agree with the way you are managing the situation."

Thank you. That was the main reason for the post, to see if I was doing right because this could get a little sticky. Especially if the parents are the ones feeding him the JUNK.

 

I do think that saying that someone is filling his head with junk is not very wise."

Is racism junk? Is stereotyping junk?

 

"We see someone who looks Chinese or Japanese (Asian) and we want them to be an expert in the martial arts."

No not all of us...

 

"We want Englishmen to wear bowler hats and carry rolled umbrellas. The English want Americans to wear ten gallon hats and talk like John Wayne."

Again, No not all of us...

 

"Could it be that the "Junk" that this little fellow has in his head, is similar to the "Junk" that I had in my head?"

Yes it seems to be the case.

 

Is it JUNK if we tell our kids that they are smarter then kids of other races?

Is it JUNK if we tell our kids that they are more athletic then kids of other races?

Is it JUNK if we tell our kids that they are less then kids of other races?

Is it JUNK if we tell our kids that they are better then kids of other races?

 

I say YES

 

 

I have been quit for 4 Days, 23 hours, 29 minutes and 12 seconds (4 days). I have saved $23.89 by not smoking 199 cigarettes. I have saved 16 hours and 35 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 9/8/04

 

Give me "Her Who Must Be Obeyed" e-mail an I will make sure that this DON'T get to her...

:-)

 

[Eamonn]

Zippie,

If you read what I posted you will see that I said "At times we fall into the trap of wanting" I never said that we all do.

If I were the Boy and I heard that you were referring to the things that my parents are telling me as junk I would be upset.

If I was the parent I would be insulted.

I of course don't know the family, but history shows that Blacks in the USA have had a rough ride, starting with being brought over here as slaves. If the family are teaching their kids their heritage, if they are informing this Lad how blacks have been mistreated in the past. Is this the Junk that they are filling his head with? Even if you disagree with what they are doing, does this give you the right to pass it off as junk?

Eamonn.

[boleta]

In my college dorm, a fight occurred between some blue and green residents when the blues told the greens to turn the "noise" down at 2 AM on a Monday morning when the exams started at 9 AM. Needless to say, the greens were insulted by the description of their wonderful music as noise, and the fight was on.

 

The issue of disturbed sleep and loud music at 2 AM was overwhelmed by the cultural issue of calling it noise. A majority of whites in this country think racism is predominantly dead. A majority of blacks see racism every day. It is hard to put yourself in another's shoes.

 

ps I think you are handling it correctly. You might want to expand the communication by discussing the issue directly with the parents before there are problems with them.

[EagleInKY]

I like the idea of getting him together with his parents. Then, use the 3 step process for conflict resolution that is taught in JLT.

 

1. Empathy ("I know that it must be tough being green with all these blue people around. You probably feel singled out. Let me assure you..")

 

2. Idea Generation ("What are some ways we can come up with to make you feel more comfortable in this situation")

 

3. Solution/Selection ("Here's what we'll do...." and follow through with it).

 

If you follow these steps, and it's still a problem, then it's HIS problem, not yours.

[Bob58]

Note to self: All cubs are Blue. We must be talking about green & yellow kids.

 

Bon jour!

We need to remember that we approach life w/ "our" baggage. Respecting people w/ other cultural backgrounds is not always easy and the advice that you've been given seems to be on the right track.

 

Buenes suerte!

 

Bob

[fotoscout]

Yellow are Wolves

Blue are Bears

Green are Webelos

[SR540Beaver]

Just a thought.....perhaps you should tell him that there are no blue or greens kids in the room, just brother Wolf Cubs.

[scoutldr]

"It's not easy being green."

 

- Kermit the frog

 

 

Racism has no place in scouting. We must not tolerate it, regardless of the color of the perpetrator. I would explain that to the parents and ask for their help in squelching it.