inappropriate behavior by a Scout

[committeechair]

Where do I begin. Our troop went on a 5 day campout for Spring Break recently. The kids who attended the campout had been camping before without any problems. This campout was horrendous! We had been saying

that their rowdiness was due to "boys being boys," and needing to get out all their pent up energy (it had been raining a lot lately). We had been hearing a lot of tattling from boys. One said a Scout "hit your son and has been acting gay." We never could get more out of the kid what he meant by 'acting gay' so we just thought it was name calling. The kid who was hit was MY son and he didn't come tell me anything so I didn't pay any attention to it. Over- reacting, I thought. They were told to settle down, and no one was hurt.

Now that it is a week later we get a call from a mom saying that she and another mom were VERY upset. Their sons had their privates touched by this same kid who had jumped on my son and hit him.

They said another kid might have been been touched also.

My husband has only been Scoutmaster 2 months. In fact, people still don't come to him when there is a problem, but it is his job to figure out what to do! We started asking our son: "What exactly happened? Don't just shrug your shoulders, but did he touch your XYZ or ABC...." Then we called the most active ASM and he did the same line of questioning with his two sons. Something was being talked about, one said, as if there was something out of line. But no one reported the incident. Why? Because it was another kid, not an adult!!! And this kid was only 11 or 12 years old.

So, tomorrow night not only do we have Cub Scouts coming over because we have Camporee this weekend, and have to plan for Camporee, but we have OA elections, and we have to find out what may have happened to any other kid who went camping! This is a complete nightmare for us.

Since becoming Scoutmaster it has been everything at once to plan for (summer camps, etc) and assorted problems. Does anyone have any

advice? If this type of incident has happened in your troop, what action was taken with the Scout, and his parent/s? Our Committee Chair is reporting this to our District Executive, to ask him what we should do. (The CC was the old SM, who the upset mother went to). My husband is going to call the Council if he doesn't hear from them tomorrow. He thinks that someone should be asking him questions. Who knows. HELP!

PS. The offending Scout is also a Patrol Leader. If all this has happened should his position be up for vote again (if he stays in the troop)?

[Bob White]

Has your Husband taken Youth Protection Training yet?

Has any adult in the unit so far?

 

Where the repoting or disiplice guidelines of the Youth Protection program followed?

 

 

A tip for the future. "Boys will be boys" is a dangerous attitute. Boys will be men. How they behave as men is formed by how they are taught and allowed to behave as boys. That why here is Scouting.

 

Do not wait. Call your Council Scout Executive and tell him you need someone knowledgable in Youth Protection to help you through this.

 

Get trained. Most councils have Youth Protection training on line, have every registered adult (and parent) view it. follow the policies in the Guide to Safe Scouting.

 

There is a reason why two adults are required at troop activities. Someone should know what the patrols are doing at all times.

 

Good Luck,

Bob White

[Laurie]

I'll second Bob on going to the Scout Executive immediately. This is an area that is taken seriously and needs to be treated seriously. It is possible that you won't know what the council does, but once it's reported, you do need to learn how to prevent future incidents and then how to response in the event of another incident or suspected incident.

[mk9750]

I also agree that the Scout Executive should be contacted immediately.

 

I have a small caveat to the advice given here. Bob's comment that Youth Protection Training is available on line is true. However, that sounds like a suggestion that you should do this training on line if you have not already been trained. We have been asked by our Council to direct all new leaders to live training the first time they get Youth Protection Training, and I think this is a very good idea. The on line training is really very good as a refresher. But it is no substitute for the two - way communication possible when taking this training for the first time.

 

If you want to see what YP would suggest you do in this case (or any other), a quick route could be going through the training on line. But I would strongly suggest that any new leader consider doing their frist YP protection in a live course.

 

Mark

[EagleInKY]

Amen and amen to all the posts. By all means, get this reported and dealt with. It's bigger than you can (or should) handle on your own.

 

After things have settled down, I recommend showing the "A Time to Tell" video. It's a little awkward for the kids (and adults), but it brings this very issue to light. I would not show it right now, since you're in the heat of battle. But it is something you should plan for down the road.

 

Finally, keep your chin up. Oftentimes, when a unit has new leaders, boys will try to test their boundaries. Some may be upset that the old leader left. Others may be upset that you are the new leader. Some are just seeing what they can get away with. Hopefully, this will turn out to be a minor incident and things will settle down. (So much for the "one hour a week"... ;-)

[committeechair]

Yes, we had 7 adults on this campout with 14 Scouts. We had more than enough leadership. Of the 7, at least 5 of us have been trained. Three of us just last month.

When we heard from one Scout that another was 'acting gay' we asked what do you mean? His answer was "he is jumping on others backs." That doesn't mean anything other than roughhousing. All this was being done in a patrols campsite. Leadership DID go over to investigate and all the men were told came out as tattling, that "johnny wouldn't leave anyone alone and kept jumping on us, tearing up our tents." "Johnny" was told that it was not appropriate Scout behavior to bother the others, and all were warned that if tents kept being pulled down, etc moms could be called to drive out 3 hours to get their sons!

No report of sexual misconduct over the five days. If there had been, a report would have been made immediately and most likely the trip would have been cancelled. But no Scout mentioned any problems like that!

As of today, we have a report of 2 being involved in some way. Yes, as soon as the first mom called, someone put in a call to an executive. The problem was it was 7pm at night, and we don't have any home numbers for anyone except for our District Executive. So, we didn't slack off on this issue.

I know how the "book" reads on the issue, but I am just wanting to hear from someone who has had to deal with this in a troop, and how was it handled "at troop level". We are going to check out the video of the 3 R's for the troop to watch. But both of these kids had leadership positions. Do those get pulled from them?

Our problem, and the Scouts problems with this stems from the fact that the training focuses on "what if an adult...an older scout...etc" does the offending. These two were peers of the same age!

Yes, it was VERY inappropriate. And we did as much as we were taught in training. Training taught at a regular training session, NOT online.

(sorry, I am very upset after hearing about another Scout now...)

[OneHour]

Just to add ... we have all of our boys sit through "A Time to Tell" before they attend summer camp or any long term campout. YPT is strickly for adults, but "A Time to Tell" is for the scouts (and the adults). http://www.scouting.org/pubs/ypt/pdf/46-013.pdf

 

1Hour

[Fat Old Guy]

Despite what Bobo says, it is true that "boys will be boys" but it isn't always or even usually true that a boy's behavior is indicative of his behavior as an adult. How many of the rambunctious and obnoxious boys that we knew grew up to become responsible pillars of the community. How many shy and retiring but well behaved kids have grown up to become serial killers. The class bully from my grade school grew up to become a minister.

 

What form did the "touching" take? Was it a caress? There was a jock in my high school that would converstionally mention that he'd been working on his deltoids then ask, "you wanna feel it?" If you did, he'd flick his wrist and smack you in the crotch. I suppose that was "inappropriate touching" but no more sinister than a Dutch rub. BTW, that fellow grew up to become a lawyer.

 

We live in a society that over reacts to everything. In days gone by, when boys were allowed to be boys, if you didn't like someone touching you, you pounded him. Lines were drawn and a hierarchy was established. Now common sense has left the building with Elvis and the authorities have to get involved with their experts and specialists who find sinister motives in everyone's actions.

 

The next thing that we know, one Scout giving another a wedgie with be cause to call the authorities.

[OldGreyEagle]

Just so no youth misunderstands Mr FatOldGuy here, he is just using his well known acerbic wit and Curmudgeonly sense of humor.

 

A "wedgie", while no reason to call the authorities such as the police or the scout executive, the first time, it is something that should be reported to the troop adult leadership and should be made to stop as it is inappropriate behavior

[OneHour]

FOG, then, you are suggesting that some bullying behavior is appropriate or should be allowed in scouting. Bullying behavior is what caused Columbine and the likes. We had an incident where a boy was the receiving end of the "peg the fag with the ball" (as the boy called it). How do you think that 11 years old boy felt? One of the kids who partake in it said that it was harmless and they do it at school as well. We put a stop to that. Being on the receiving end of prejudicism, name calling, intimidation, and one wedgie when I was at the same age, I know how these boys feel ... degrading and hurtful; as a result, inappropriate behavior, to me, has no place in scouting. This is why I have my sons join scouting...to have a place and environment that I can help in molding them correctly. The boys-will-be-boys attitude is just an excuse for an adult not to correct inappriopriate behaviors. Of course the offending parties may grow up to be upright, productive citizens, but what about the receiving parties? Young minds can be easily molded.

 

A scout transferred to our troop recently. They transferred out of a very popular troop that is the envies of troops (boy lead, active committee, active scoutmasters, great fund raisers, going places that other can only dream of, 80-90 boys strong). It turned out that the boy was prejudiced against by other boys, having been called names, racial remarks, and threats. I guess that I can see how this could easily have happened in that troop. My son visited that troop during his webelos year. During that visit one boy said something to my son that offended him. He said, "I hope that your f.... face don't join our troop. We don't need you!" We didn't join! Boys will be boys, but scouts need to and shall be scouts!

 

Having said that, I'm not condoning crying-woof either where every single action cries out lawsuit or legal involvement. YPT and BSA have a set of guidelines for us adults to follow in order for us to protect the kids and ourselves.

 

1Hour

 

[Eagledad]

>>The offending Scout is also a Patrol Leader. If all this has happened should his position be up for vote again (if he stays in the troop)?

[Mike F]

We had an incident with similar overtones about 9 months ago. It was immediately reported to District. SM, CC, and COR pulled all involved scouts into room individually to get (and document) their stories. Our Top 3 then met with offending scout and parents. Because there had been previous discipline issues (although nothing of this nature), he was placed on 6 months probation and his parents were privately given a recommendation to get him counseling.

Yes - this boy would definitely benefit from scouting, but our first responsibility is to ensure that the troop and patrol are a safe place. If there's doubt, there's no question he must leave.

The boy did not come back after his 6 months were up.

[Mike F]

We had an incident with similar overtones about 9 months ago. It was immediately reported to District. SM, CC, and COR pulled all involved scouts into room individually to get (and document) their stories. Our Top 3 then met with offending scout and parents. Because there had been previous discipline issues (although nothing of this nature), he was placed on 6 months probation and his parents were privately given a recommendation to get him counseling.

Yes - this boy would definitely benefit from scouting, but our first responsibility is to ensure that the troop and patrol are a safe place. If there's doubt, there's no question he must leave.

The boy did not come back after his 6 months were up.