Cub Scouts - boys too old, but at risk

[Twocubdad]

I'm not sure how the boy's registration went through. I frequently get calls from our DE questioning the age, grade, registration or advancement of boys althogh the problem usually ends up being a clerical mistake.

 

If you've already brought this up with the CM and CC and they are either uninterested or unwilling to deal with it, bring it up with the DE. He can take it from there.

 

As to the original problem boy, Ed's advice still stands. As an asst. CM, you are a pack leader and need to handle the situation. One could make the point that you are in more of a position to deal with the boy than the den leader. ("Well Laurie is an Assistant Cubmaster, and she didn't say anything, so..."). That the Den Leader is a wimp about handling behavior problems doesn't mean you have to let it go to.

 

I had a kid in camp last week who was brought to me by his den leader (I was the camp director). The DL didn't go into detail, but said the boy had been disrespectful and wasn't following directions. The boy and I sat in a corner and I asked if he knew the Law of the Pack (he didn't). So I got a handbook and reviewed it with him -- especially the parts about following Akela and giving good will. I left him to study the law for about 10 minutes then we talked about what it meant. Before I sent him back to his den, I warned him that if he couldn't behave as a good Scout that he would be sent home.

 

That conversation did two things. First, it was exactly the lesson the boy needed to hear (your kid may need to hear about doing his best or helping other people, depending on the situation). His den leader didn't have any more trouble with him. The second thing it did was to impress the dickens out of the den leader and other adults within earshot. I had two people tell me how well I handled it. Not that I'm trying to toot my own horn, but it let the adults know that such problems would be handled in a Scout-like way. Bawling the boy out or just sending him home would have solved the problem, but as a Scout leader I needed to take the opportunity to teach something. (And if he did it again, I still had the option of bawling him out and sending him home.) You have the opportunity to set a similar tone and expectation with the leaders and parents in your pack and den.

 

The next discipline problem I had was a boy who used inappropriate language with his den leader and gave her "the bird" (and we ain't talking Eagle either). That was over the line. This was also his second offense and I had overheard his den leader talking to him about his behavior the day before. I gave him a sharp, one-sided conversation that his behavior was unacceptable and that he would be sent home. While I was looking for his parents' phone number, his year-round den leader "rescued" him, saying she knew him and his family and would deal with him. In retrospect, I should have sent him home anyway.

 

Moral of the story is there are lots of ways to handle discipline problems. But the bottom line is that you do need to handle them.

 

 

[Laurie]

Things are beginning to happen that may work this out. The Comm Chair & I have been in touch over these 2 issues. The age might actually be 13 for this boy; when we pulled the app, his age is listed as 11 but his year of birth makes him 13 1/2. Considering our roster is full of errors, I'm not too surprised that this went through. We simply need to be more vigilant at a pack level and check ages/dates better.

 

As for discipline, the Comm Chair and DE worked out a plan, and it is very much what you described Twocubdad, only after the verbal warnings come written notices. He's talking us through this now. I've no intention of doing nothing, but it is WHAT to do that has been my question.

 

I am well aware that we could lose leaders if I come on strong and step on their toes--and that is what I don't want to do. I also know that I've been able to set an example to date. I'm the only leader other than the Cubmaster to have a uniform. Others were surprises, and now they want to know if they should get one too. Yes! When I went to Round Table, others wanted to go. When I took training, others wanted to have it too. Only one class, but it's a start.

 

One person makes a difference. My hope is that I can help to make a positive difference for the benefit of the boys without being too timid or too strong and thinking of myself instead.

 

Thanks!

[ScoutNut]

Laurie - On the issue of training, check with your council to see if they have Fast Start and Youth Protection videos you can borrow. You might also check out your council website. Many councils are now offering these two trainings online. Come fall keep an eye out at your council and neighboring councils for the yearly Pow-Wow and/or University of Scouting. These are day long training events and are great fun! They have lots of different classes you can take from knot tying to camp cooking to disipline in the den!

 

Here are some sites you might find helpful:

 

BSA National - Lots of info. Has Guide to Safe Scouting on-line:

 

http://www.scouting.org/

 

My Council's on-line Fast Start & Youth Protection. You will not get credit for being YP trained unless you take it thru your own council's site, but you can browse all you want:

 

http://www.bsa-dpvc.org/Training/030323_YPT_FrameSet.html

 

http://www.bsa-dpvc.org/cub_scouting/cubset.htm

 

Hope these help until you can get to your council's training. BTW - I am jealous that you were able to take BALOO. I have signed up twice now & both times it was cancelled due to lack of attendence!

 

Nut

[CubsRgr8]

Laurie, is it possible that the 13 year old boy is a special needs kid? If so, he is allowed to remain at the skill-level appropriate for his mental abilities and the age/grade restrictions are waived. Check with your DE for guidance if thisis the case.

 

If not, and since you mention that he is not a behavior problem, he should register as a boy scout with a troop. If the scoutmaster and the den leader are willing, he could be appointed as a den chief. This is a leadership position in a troop where a scout is assigned to work with a den and its leaders. He would then be able to continue attending the den meetings with his younger (problem) friend. I see this option as a very positive outcome for everybody.

 

Please let us know how this resolves, we're all pulling for you!

[Laurie]

Thanks for all the help. The Committee Chair and DE are working on this now, and we hope to have it resolved, with no hurt feelings if that's possible, soon. We don't know much about this boy as his own parent/family member has not been met by anyone--even the friend's family who paid his registration. Being involved with our Troop, if he should be enrolled there, he'll be part of a great Troop. When I know anything definitive, I'll update. The advice is much appreciated