A Gold Star Moment

[Eagle732]

On another tread we've been discussing rating units as Gold, Silver or Bronze. This new rating system does not reflect the effectiveness of a unit and its program, actions reflect it. So I was very pleased and proud of my 15 year old, two term SPL when he handled a problem during last weekends camping trip.

 

A several weeks ago Timmy Tenderfoot, age 12, wanted to go to the Volcano Patrol which was has most of our new scouts. Since that time he has not listened to the direction of the PL who is a year younger than him and has generally been disruptive whenever he gets the chance. During the last camping trip TT decided to take the box of cereal that was for breakfast, fill it with milk and eat from the box (with a fork no less!) before some of the boys had eaten, despite the PL's request not to.

 

Long story, short. PL goes to SPL. SPL goes to the PL of the Shark Patrol which is a group of older scouts, and requests that they take TT as a member. All agree and TT is told by the SPL he is now with the older boys and will listen and do as directed by the very large and older PL. TT complains and threatens to quit but SPL holds his ground.

 

Upon returning from the camping trip I see TT's mom and the SPL talking. Afterwards I ask SPL how the discussion with Mom went. Apparently TT complained to Mom and she let the SPL know in no uncertain terms that she feels TT should not be moved to the Shark Patrol. SPL's reply was that TT needs more supervision from an older scout who he will listen to and that he has not listened to the younger PL and has been disruptive. SPL says TT will be a member of the Shark Patrol and that he (SPL) will review TT's behavior in a few months and re-evaluate. This is his (SPLs) decision and he is sticking to it.

 

SPL asks if I think he did the right thing, my response was YES!!!!

 

This is what Scouting is all about. Maybe this leadership thing is really sinking in.

[Eagle92]

My only problem with the entire situation: and why was mom involved?

 

 

GREAT JOB FOR YOUR SPL! ( and that's shouting at the top of my lungs!)

[GKlose]

At least Mom didn't confront the SM, and demand that Timmy be put back in the other patrol!

[Eagle732]

Why was mom involved?

 

Because her little TT complained to her that the SPL moved him and that little TT can do no wrong. She cornered the SPL while the troop was putting away camping gear and cleaning up after the trip (while TT was goofing off instead of helping).

 

I could have intervened but thought I would see how it played out.

 

An example of making the right decision, not the easy decision. I was very impressed!

[Eagle92]

Ok sorry for the misunderstanding, I was being sarcastic about TT bringing in mommy when he didn't get his way. I think the SPL handled it 110% correct, and TT needs to get over it.

[RANBOW]

Great job by your SPL. This is a good reflection on you and your unit as well as the growth of your youths having demonstrated true leadership ability.

 

Kudos to the mom also for addressing it in a proper respectful manner instead of acting out like an irate fool.( like some would do.)She must have already had a good idea of what might have transpired being familiar with her own child as it were.

 

[GKlose]

In the old days, we had ways of dealing with moms... :-)

 

There was a relatively new scout, but he was jr high school age, that joined the troop. His name was Chuck. One spring, a couple of days before a scheduled outing, there was an iffy forecast. Springtime in Ohio can be like that.

 

Our SM was a schoolteacher, so he didn't get home until after 3pm. Chuck's mom had tried calling him at home, that Friday afternoon, but didn't get through to him (there were no home answering machines in those days)...Chuck's mom started calling around, and what started with "is the troop still camping this weekend?" turned into "I'm not sure if the troop is camping..." which then turned into "the troop isn't camping", all without the benefit of actually talking to the SM. Chuck's mom didn't know that we're always out, no matter what the weather. But because of the confusion, there were quite a few no-shows.

 

It provided a great number of laughs for the troop, in later years. A question might be posed "is the campout still on?" and the answer would be "I don't know, let's ask Chuck's mom" and things like that. "So Chuck, does your mom say we're going camping this weekend, or not?". I'm not sure, but I think Chuck found this as funny as we did. But he probably also gave it back to his mom, too.

 

Would a teen these days say "Mom, don't ever do that to me again, I'll take care of it myself the next time"? A wise-guy 12 yr-old, maybe not, but a teen?

 

Guy

[Mike F]

E732,

 

Right on! This is our dream - to help them develop the confidence to stand up when it's time.

I have a feeling we'll be hearing more from this young man in the next 2-3 years.

 

One of my best Gold Star moments was about 3 years ago. SPL (also 2nd term) would see visitors walk in the door and push me out of the way to introduce himself and let them know HE was in charge, then procede to show them around and assign the Webe to a patrol for the evening. When he got done with the parents, he brought them over and introduced them to me. Not all boys reach that point, but those Gold Star moments are worth it. And the Silver and Bronze Star moments are all gravy.(This message has been edited by Mike F)

[Eagle732]

Well it took mom almost a week but she finally got around to demanding TT be allowed to return to his patrol or TT will quit!

[Mike F]

This family is never going to be happy.

TT was disruptive and out of control in his previous patrol, so he was moved to where older boys could better control him and help him develop.

Now they threaten to quit if you don't move him back to where he was a major disruption?

If you don't let this one go, the boys you really want to keep will start walking out the back door.

Adios, TT.

[Eagle732]

I hate to loose any boy, seems like a failure on my part. However, years of experience have shown me that sometimes you have to loose one to keep it from negatively effecting the entire troop. I refuse to have boys quite because of a disruptive boy that doesn't want to be a member of the troop anyway.

 

My position is all Scouts (and adult leaders) live by the Scout Oath and Law. No exceptions. We shall see at the next troop meeting.

 

[Wickerness]

The good thing about the SPL sticking to his guns is that it sends a message to any other future TT's that they can't threaten to quit just to get their way.

 

My one question is... Did TT stick with the troop or did he quit in the long run? Because I would like to think that TT would come around and end up being a good scout. So that in the long run this was the right thing for him and not just the rest of the troop. I think the SPL did a great job.

[Eagle732]

Unfortunately TT ended up getting suspended from the troop for punching another Scout during a meeting. After his suspension he never returned. Sad.

[qwazse]

Thanks for the update. Regardless, y'all did right by TT.

[Reasonable Rascal]

Had a boy last year that the committee suspended for a month because of ongoing behavior issues that included bloodying a nose and other physical altercations. He also never returned, and our retention of new Scouts has never been higher. One boy - especially when he is older (14) can have either a very detrimental or positive effect on the troop as a whole.

 

The boy had been Green Barred twice before it got to that point. His suspension was not a snap decision. We are talking well over a year of attempts to salvage him. He has since become acquainted with the juvenile justice system.

 

RR