Conflict amoung the scouts

[LongHaul]

Ya mk9750 that's kinda what I see. I really don't see the CO "culling" the herd and I don't see the current SM/ASMs getting back to basics and teaching the youth leaders how to gain respect or providing a program that does not tolerate disruptive behavior.

LH

[eolesen]

The arguments can be over anything...if one boy expresses an interest in a football team, one of the rivals will jump in with comments about how bad the team is and off it goes. What is so disturbing is the intensity with which the arguments escalate until boys are standing nose to nose with the disagreement shifting from the original topic to personal insults aimed at each other. It got so bad at the last troop meeting that one boy began to insult the parentage of the other

 

Yah, this sounds like Merlyn and Ed, eh?

 

Thanks, B... I just spit soda all over my screen and keyboard...

[nwscouttrainer]

>>> Yah, this sounds like Merlyn and Ed, eh?

 

Okay...I'm new to this forum so can someone explain to me who Merlyn and Ed are?

 

 

[LongHaul]

Nwscouttrainer, I know you agreed to an hour a week and obviously have not left after finding out that it was quite a bigger time commitment but before We try to answer your question just how much time do you have?

LH

 

[evmori]

I'm Ed

[nwscouttrainer]

>>> just how much time do you have?

 

Never enough! But then I'm used to multitasking as all scout leaders are. LOL

[LongHaul]

nwscouttrainer,

      Well Ed has tipped his hat but Merlyn remains silent. Briefly Ed and Merlyn are two men that have very beliefs and at times those beliefs are diametrically opposed to one another. Things will go along peacefully and then someone will post something which causes one or the other of these men to respond with a position the other disagrees with, strongly, completely, and repeatedly At that point any topic becomes fodder and can be drawn into the sparing. As you pointed out after a while things get "heated". They are not always like this but at times it's hard to get them to take their corners and cool down.

NO offense guys

LH

The complete story can be found but searching from the main page.

[nwscouttrainer]

Well, things may be looking up. One of the newer leaders who has not been able to go on many of the campouts due to work conflicts, but is usually at the troop meetings, has decided to step up and try to get the other leaders to recognize the conflict among the boys.

 

He and I had quite a long talk about the situation, and he is in agreement that something must be done to correct the behavior before it escalates. Talking to some of the boys directly does no good as they either deny they have misbehaved, or blow it all off as just a joke.

 

When fighting broke out this past weekend, he made all of the participants stop and recite the scout law then discuss how they were violating it. He then reminded them that as scouts, their adherence to the Oath and Law was required just as much as being able to tie knots, build fires or complete a five mile hike when it comes to earning rank. If they cannot display behavior in accordance with the Oath and Law, they may not be ready to be awarded First or Second Class Rank.

 

We'll see if this tactic works in getting the desired behavior - or getting rid of the ones we don't want.

 

[SSScout]

Ones behavior is dependant on ones experience and education. One does what WORKS, according to past experience. What is desired? and how can I get it? How did my mom and pop get what they want? By education, I not only mean the sit down and listen kind, but the watch what happens kind. Ones experience comes from family and everything else. If the everything else is lacking, guess where the experience comes from? When a boy becomes a Scout (whyever he becomes a Scout), he brings alot of OTHER experience and education with him.

 

Attention? Raise hell. Bad attention is better than no attention.

 

Approval? Prove I'm right by force rather than logic or discussion.

 

Who's in charge? I'm better if I'm in charge and I'm in charge if I can yell you down.

 

Saisfaction and pride? Accomplishing bad things is better than accomplishing nothing.

 

Self worth? Since young folks define this by adult approbation, it helps to make it CLEAR what is expected and what is not acceptable. When one is older, hopefully the idea that one is worthy in God's eye (if not my dad or moms) has been internalized.

 

Confidence? Knowing how to do something (stirring up trouble) is better than knowing how to do nothing.

 

Merely mouthing the Scout Promise and Law does not help the Scout understand what is expected from these ideals. SM Minutes, hikes at night, campfire talks, SM conferences, CoH ceremonies that include SP & L reminders, all need to be implemented. The adult leaders cannot merely hike off and hope that the Scouts will "work it out" . Thru experience (projects, hikes, camps,etc.) and education (getting them to 'think outside THEIR box'), the Adult leadership must help the SPL and other Scout leaders (and the OTHER Scouts can be leaders in this by peer example and protest) to lead the Troop, and by example, show the younger Scouts what to do and how to act when it is THEIR turn.

 

It ultimately takes two to make an argument. If one side of the argument can be convinced of the immaturity of rising to the bait, then the instigator will be left by himself. Believe me, he does NOT want to be left by himself.

 

Boy led, yes, but not all by myself boy led.

 

Parents CAN speak to each other, too, ya know.

 

 

[ozemu]

The problem as I see it is actually a gift.

 

Getting along with each other is a main part of Scouting. This behaviour is a gift for us to explore that in detail and very personally. Scouting is not about MB's and camping skills (gerat though those things are).

 

This behaviour should be the focus of the Troop/Patrol and the SM and ASM's should have it as priortiy #1.

 

If they haven't (as it seems) they are missing the point and that would be enough for me to vote with my feet.

 

Just how to address this depends on variables. But conflicts are such a great way to explore human relatiuonashipos that we cannot loose if we seek to have the Scouts deal with it all. 1:1, SM minutes, parent interviews. It all sounds like manna from heaven to me. Get in and get dirty - that is my advice to the adult leaders. Everyone from SM to SPL to tenderfoot can get something from this.

 

But nwscouttrainer if the adults won't tackle the issue then I suggest you listen to your son. There are other Troops out there. The Troop you are involved with sounds like it is a Scout Troop in name only.

 

Behaviour IS the program.

[ozemu]

Whoops. Re-read your last post nwscouttrainer.

 

It looks like you and the other new Scouter are onto it. If it works you will be doing everyone a service. Good luck.

[eghiglie]

In my sons old troop this was a major problem. There was one kid who was bullied by almost everyone and to be accepted by the whole group no one could be nice to him. This boy crossed over and one year later he was still just at the Scout badge level.

 

My son was usually paired with him as his "buddy" because he was the new kid in the troop.

 

My son liked the kid a lot, he is actually pretty cool, but does sometimes does weird things like all kids.

 

My son who typically is accepting of everyone started avoiding this kid. Just so he could be liked. He never picked on him but never supported him or hung around with him. He also hated being this kids buddy.

 

This kid was picked on and also physically hit. At one campout one of the scouts in another patrol, the Patrol Leader in fact, used this kid as target practice for a slingshot he invented. When he told the SM the SM told him that he didn't see anything so its his word against 10 others. He also had a coconut tossed at him another time.

 

Even when the boys parents complained nothing would get resolved because "no adult saw it happen". This troop also never stated the scout oath and law at a meeting so the boys forgot about all the stuff.

 

So my point is to start getting it resolved by having a conference with all the boys. You might even have to go so far as to require parents of all the boys to attend outings and what not.

 

In my son's case we decided to drop out of the troop and look for another. We wound up forming a new troop and the boy from the old troop that was bullied came to join us.

 

 

[ASM857]

Yeah it's convenient that they don't remember thier own habit's, something we did at a den level and all the parents new about, is we recorded a meeting showing thier true colors, and played it back to them. Talk about some red faces, they really didn't think they were getting that wrapped up in the argument. No obviousley this was a small den and all the parents agreed in writing. This may not be your fix but seeing through thier own eyes whats happening can be enlightning.

 

YIS

Doug Buth