Jobs for new parents

[Twocubdad]

We have developed a mindset between the troop and pack that when boys crossover it is a good time for the adults to take a break from Scouting. Honestly, we have somewhat created that by pushing the Scout Led concept with the new parents, which they interpret as, "they no longer need my help."

 

On the committee side, we do get good participation by a number of parents (mostly moms) who help on the admin side. After watching the program for a year or so, we get them to step up into committee roles like membership, recharter, finance, etc.

 

Our problem is with the ASMs. Not to reopen this discussion, but I really think part of our problem is with the Cub Scout program burning out the den leaders -- the "outdoorsy" guys who would make good ASMs. After five years as a DL many of them probably need and deserve a break. For our part, we've focused too much on Youth Leadership in our approach with new leaders attempting to keep them from becoming "Webelos III" den leaders. In the past, my advice to cross-over WDLs has been to take a year to get trained, observe the troop and learn the program. What they learn in that year is to disengage, stand on the sidelines and not get involved. They learn to hang back and let the boys run things, but they never learn when or how to appropriately step in with advice or help.

 

Unfortunately, we're reaching a point in the troop where our good ASMs who have supported the program for years are beginning to age out without any clear replacements behind them.

 

So my question for the group is, how do you bring new leaders into the program and get them to find that balance point between letting the boys run the program and doing nothing? More specifically, what jobs do you give ASMs which keeps them involve but in a coaching/mentoring role but helps keep them from stumbling into the role of den leader?

[Second Class]

My troop is in a similar position. We don't have a feeder pack. Two and three years ago we got zero new interested adults.

This year however, we,have a group of what looks like 5 or 6 strong, young, interested dads. With the new Quality Unit penalizing troops for "untrained" ASM's (notwithstanding they may be an Eagle scout),

we've taken the approach of get trained then get the patch. (allowing national to nudge us in their desired direction.). We will lose a few dads that won't get trained, and that will be too bad.

 

New parents often see the jump to Boy Scouts as their out where they can dump and run. We tell prospective members that we need and want their involvement, and any interested parent will have a job if they want one.

 

I have one new great dad that was a scout. He has been cracking on his son pretty good, because he wants him to do right and be a good scout. He reminds me of myself and my son. We had a chance to talk, and I told him a few stories of me and my son in scouts. I suggested he back off, and not correct his son unless it was "life and limb" situation. Let other uniformed adults do the correction.

 

We have a functional PLC and this is a great vehicle to show the new dads that it can work. They need to learn to respect that, and let the scouts run the program. Not to say a gentle reminder isn't needed now and then.

 

So perhaps you should identify the dads you see being a good ASM or SM, and go put your hand on them. Tell them they are needed, lay out the training requirements, and invite them to join you. Ask them what their goal is. Some want to be an ASM, a CM, and few want to be a SM. Find that guy and mentor him.

You know there is a bus out there with your name on it. LOL

 

Maybe you should reconsider stiff arming crossover parents. Move them into a committee position (low stress) and keep them involved, so you can identify the ones that "get it" and work with them.

[qwazse]

I think for us it boils down to getting scout parents on the trail where they can see things in operation. But, at the same time keeping them in the 'old farts patrol' so they can be observers. At the same time we discover how different parents interact with the boys and begin to separate the oversized patrol leaders from the folks with a knack for coaching.

 

We also make it clear that these boys benefit from a diverse group of adults and not every ASM need be on Avery outing.

[BSA24]

There's so many things going on there you will never boil it down to a switch you can flick on to fix it. But I think you are on to something.

 

* Many old boy scouts remember there only being the SM, maybe one ASM, and the boys all riding in the bed of a pickup truck to go camping with their gear in a trailer. They see Boy Scouts as when the SM and ASM take the boys camping and the parents are done.

 

* Most Cub Scout leaders experience significant conflict and stress doing their jobs. It isn't the actual den leadering that burns them out. It is the politics of who runs cub day camp, having district leaders pop in and ask for money every three months, conflicts with parents, etc. Districts are built around Boy Scouts, and Cub Scout leaders are usually treated like a bunch of idiot Mommies pretending to do Scouts.

 

* So you're a Cub Scout leader, and when you've engaged some of the Boy Scout leaders in conversations about scouting, you've received the standard snort and eye roll about your activities followed by a one-up. "Our troop doesn't allow Mommy to coddle them. We're building men here, not princesses." When your son joins said troop, you are not going to help them.

 

* Lack of communication with Packs is another problem. I am amazed at how few pack meetings have Boy Scout leaders come and give a brief speech to the kids and parents or presentation about Boy Scouts. Troops sit back on their fat asses and expect packs to feed them boys without any respectful acknowledgement or support of the Cub packs themselves.

 

* Troops these days do a lot of harder camping that Cub Leaders don't want to do after a week in the office. Cub Camping is car camping. Maybe parents don't want to go backpacking, rafting, canoeing, etc. They are probably not interested in being outdoorsmen.

 

I think this is a moment for Boy Scout Leaders to look in the mirror and ask themselves what they could do better to avoid turning off Cub Leaders before crossover even happens. Even the well-intentioned friendly joke might be offensive enough to have someone emotionally resign from scouting at crossover.

(This message has been edited by bsa24)

[Tampa Turtle]

We messed up by strongly encouraging cub leaders to take a break after crossing over--and then we lost a whole "generation" of adult leaders who started enjoying more free time! So I agree you need a "feeder" program for 'em.

 

Some of the really active den moms ended up as Committee jobs as Treasurer, Advancement Chair, Fund raisers. This seemed natural.

 

We have been bringing along some new Dad's as MB counselors on a MB related to their job or hobby. A few got hooked after working with the boys.

 

A couple others have been working with the Patrol Leaders one on one. We found that the Patrol Leaders needed a little more coaching and it was good (in a big Troop) to have an adult assigned to each Patrol to just see if any boys dropped out, weren't advancing etc. It is a pretty hands off job but mentoring the odd drop out seems to hook a couple more adults.

 

Also we are trying to get Dad's to commit to one or two campouts a year for support (driving, hauling, adult backup). This is less intimidating than thinking you are going every month.

[Oak Tree]

What we usually do is invite the parents to come on camping trips with us. While they are there, we have a chance to talk to them about how we work as adults and what the philosophy is, and we have a chance to demonstrate how that works.

 

We had one dad who was really burned out as a den leader, really wanted a break. We didn't ask him to sign up for anything. But after coming on a couple of camping trips and seeing how things worked, he went ahead and took the ASM training classes and registered as an ASM.

 

I find the best way to get the adults to step up into new roles is to spend some time with them around a campfire.

[Eamonn]

Here where I live, most if not all the Troops in the area have no plan, no way and no system for allowing /accepting adult help.

Just so long as the person has a warm body is able to pass the BSA check and is willing to do something, they are in.

How long they last or how involved they become? Depends on how long their kid remains interested, how involved he is and if the Lady of the house is OK with it all.

 

We have a few Troops that are willing and do accept any and everyone as a ASM.

Many of these guys are only interested and only there to keep an eye on their kid.

Sure they help with transportation and take the training's needed but they lack any real love of what it's all about and have no real passion.

I'd much sooner have five or six active ASM's who if they don't know what they are doing are really interested in learning and finding out how things work, than a bunch of Dads who need to be looked after and need baby sitting.

A small Leadership Team who can work well together and work toward getting the job at hand done, following the lead of the SM, beats a gang of hangers on who to my mind just get in the way and take away from the youth.

I've visited Troop meetings where the adults outnumber the youth, the extra adults do nothing all night and end up standing around talking and are just a big distraction.

I've seen Troops at summer camp where the ASM's never leave the Troop campsite and spend the entire day minding the fire. -What a waste of time!

Ea.

 

 

 

 

[WasE61]

"Honestly, we have somewhat created that by pushing the Scout Led concept with the new parents, which they interpret as, "they no longer need my help.""

 

Actually, I took it as, "we don't want your help."

 

A different message entirely....

[Twocubdad]

So how do you change the message to "we need your help, but the help we need is different from what you are accustomed to providing"?

 

We do take the Webelos camping, in three weeks, as a matter of fact, which is why this is on my mind. The Scout totally run the program for the Webelos and I and the other leaders spend the weekend talking with the Webelos parents, all of whom -- moms and dads -- are invited to attend. At one point during the weekend, the boys all go off for a hike and we have a formal orientation to the Scout program for the parents.

 

Sounds like everyone is having a similar experience to what we're seeing.

[Oak Tree]

I think you change the message by saying it just the way you said it. "We continue to need your help, but in different ways than you may be accustomed to providing."

 

We talk about it on the Webelos camping trip, at an orientation session, just as you do. We usually have an adult leader cross the bridge at crossover time, to symbolize that they are crossing over and we continue to need adult help.

 

We have some conversations with them, and we evaluate what positions might be good transitionary options. We can start them out as committee members, helping out with boards of review, or put them in charge of medical forms, or have them help out with advancement record-keeping, or sign them up as merit badge counselors - it depends on what positions are needed and open, too. And we definitely invite them along to camp with us.

[WasE61]

"We talk about it on the Webelos camping trip, at an orientation session, just as you do."

 

Guess that's why I never heard any invitation...I don't camp....probably disqualifies me.... lol

[Twocubdad]

Not to rehash our entire orientation program with the new parents, but the campout is the first of three formal opportunities new parents have to hear it. We have a short presentation for them when the Webelos visit the troop meeting and we also have meetings for the parents during each of the first month's troop meetings after crossover.

 

What I'm specifically looking for are the jobs you have for new volunteers. Where do you steer them that they can contribute? Do you try to find things for them to do which keep them away from their sons' patrols?

[Oak Tree]

As a general rule, we do try to keep them away from their own son's patrol.

 

Some of the jobs we give new parents are what I listed above. Others have included working with the quartermaster on equipment, taking care of the adult equipment, handling all the membership forms, updating the troop website, managing the troop email list, being treasurer, helping with courts of honor, helping coordinate popcorn or other fund-raiser, coordinating den chiefs.

 

It helps if you (or someone you trust) knows some of the parents from Cub Scouts and can tell you what their strengths are and what positions they might be suited for.

 

After we get to know people for awhile, then we'll move them up to ASM roles - helping plan trips, serving as patrol advisors, working with the boys at troop meetings, etc.

 

We do generally have a formal meeting with the parents sometime right before crossover, too, to continue the introduction.

[qwazse]

We really try not to make a distinction between new parent vs. seasoned parent jobs.

 

Maybe we're just not that organized. A new dad might be just a few hoops away from certified range instructor, so guess who's getting paperwork for MBC for rifle and shotgun shooting. One of our dads is pretty sharp when it comes to marketing: he got our recruiting drive. I came in with a firm belief in forced marches in bear country: our troop suddenly had a backpacking coordinator. As I learned about youth leadership, I passed on a lot of what I did in year 1 to the SPL or JASM in year 2.

 

We do try to get new parents to sit in on boards of review. We welcome new dads to the back of the kitchen for the spaghetti dinner fundraiser.

 

The fact is, we accept that the boy-lead model has ups and downs every year as different parents come in with new visions of how that should work.