Hard time transitioning to Boy Scouts?

[Scoutfish]

Okay, I realize I am not what you call an average scout parent. The fact that I was a Cub Scout leader definantly puts me in a different point of perspective than a non leader scout parent.

 

Okay, lets do some comparissons:

 

CUB SCOUTS

 

You plan activities and events for everybody.

 

You have to come up with materials and supplies. You have to get those supplies

You have to plan a menu that appeals to a huge group of adults and scouts. You have to plan on all untensils, plates, cups, condiments, etc...

 

You have to figure a good amount based on who will eat 1/2 a serving and who will eat 3 servings.

 

Gotta go grocery shopping for all those people and figure out a mass starage container - ie: collers and ice......and who is going to carry all that to the campsite.

 

Okay, so now you have everything there at camp.

 

First thing is you have to set up your tent and small home away from home for you and your scout. Make sure he puts his bag in the tent, his sleeping bacg, toiletries, etc.....

 

Now you have to plan a time to start preparing and cooking everything. Gotta get everybody up and make sure all those hands get washed .

 

After you get done cleaning up ( or supervising the scouts cleaning up) - you have to plan at some point that somebody will have to break away from whatever activity is going on to start the next meal and have it ready to eat at the next designated mealtime.

 

I could go on and on.

 

 

BOY SCOUTS

 

MY son and I show up at camp. I grab my gear, he grabs his.

 

I worry about where I am going to set up my tent ( now to be my new hammock). I set it up, toss my sleeping bag in, toss my duffle bag in, and......................

 

 

 

 

I AM DONE!

 

Unless it is my turn to cook for my fellow leaders..I am set up!

 

I will look over to the patrol my son is in, and make sure they are not gonna have any major heartaches, and maybe offer a suggestion if it is really needed, but other than that........

 

I AM DONE!

 

Have the tent all to myself! No dirt all over my tent floor. No clothes scattered everywhere inside the tent. No zipper left down so that 14 crickets start serenading me as I start to drift off to dreamland.

 

My son is responcible for setting up his tent, picking a place to set it up, for unpacking anything he needs or wants to bring along. H

 

His patrol planned, procurred and will see to it that they have edible meals. They are responcible for any and all utensils and or plates. They are responcible for cleanup afterward.

 

The are responcible for planning thier activities and or education while camping. We will help teach if need be, but they still have to plan for that.

 

They have to take down camp, flake their tents afterward and follow all policing of the campsite afterward. They pack out any and everything that needs to be packed out.

 

So to recap: In cub scouts - even though I had the title of CubMaster, I was really a worker ant.

In Boy SCouts - As an Assistant ScoutMaster - I am just a "in case of emergency situation" supervisor ant.

 

 

So, why is it supposed to be a hard transition to me?

 

Or is it just the fact that I used to be leader in cub scouts that has me smiling like a jackass in boy scouts?

[Basementdweller]

Fish...

 

you have spent time reading the forums.....You understand that is the way it is supposed to be.

 

Your scouts turn being grubmaster and such is coming.....POR just don't show up to a campout pitch his tent and have fun....A scout being a good quartermaster is a fairly tough job.

 

 

 

A large number of Cub Leaders who join troop leaders are Very much Type A personalities.....

 

they cannot sit back and watch the boys doing their thing,

 

 

[Scoutfish]

That's whay I wondered if being a Cub leader versus being a parent made a difference?

 

Most parents just show up and hang out with their scouts and enjoy teh camping, but in reality, most of them do not know the purpose of the program or what we are trying to one day do.

 

Of course, they are also not the ones who did the planning, coordinating behind the scenes , working, fetching, gathering, etc....

 

 

Boy Scouts feels like a break.

 

 

[moosetracker]

Just enjoy Scoutfish.. You earned it!

[Stosh]

One of the toughest lessons a parent has to learn is they are responsible for developing their children into well-rounded independent people. It's difficult to see them grow up and rely less and less on you and they are going to make mistakes, it's all part of the process. Everyone knows that when the mother bird kicks the chicks out of the nest, there's always a possibility their going to hit the ground quite hard! But those who soar insures the mother bird has done her job correctly.

 

The mantra I always lived by is, "I'm working myself out of a job!" If I do it correctly, my children will do the same for my grandkids.

 

Stosh

 

 

[AlamanceScouter]

Fish, I will be "transitioning" to Boy Scouts next March........I cant wait.

[Lisabob]

What makes it hard for many adults is that adults are usually much more efficient than the boys, and many adults have the well-intended-but-misguided desire to spare the boys from having to learn lessons the hard way. What makes it harder, still, is that many adults are inexperienced outdoor people who become anxious about the potential dangers of outdoor activities that typically form the core of boy scouting. And so out of an abundance of caution (I just want to make sure he's safe!), they interfere. And really, that's how society tells people they ought to behave as parents of elementary-school-aged children, so this is not surprising.

 

You, Scoutfish, are a bit unusual. Still, what's your threshold for standing by while seeing things get totally botched, take 5 times as long as they ought to, and produce a higher level of frustration than your son is accustomed to? Because when that happens (not "if"), even many former Cub Leaders have to fight the strong tendency to step in and "fix" it for their scout/son.

 

 

[resqman]

Been an ASM for 5-6 years. Last weekend the troop split for a campout weekend. 8 boys and 3 adults backpacked couple days on the AT in prepartion for Philmont. My son is the crew leader and volunteered to be grubmaster for this trip. He and I went shopping for the food. I assisted him in the actual repackaging of the food but he did all the planning and most of the actual work. I dropped him off with the Philmont crew, gave him a hug and drove away.

 

The other part of the troop took 6 boys and 2 adults to a different location for an 18 mile mtn biking trip. We shared a campsite barely large enough for 2 picnic tables and 4 tents. The boys cooked as a patrol on 1 picnic table while I and the other adult shared a meal on the adjoining picnic table. It took all 6 boys to cook their meals. It took 1 adult 1/4 of the time and effort with less mess and a more attractive result.

 

Sitting next to their table and being forced to watch the patrol struggle through preparing, cooking, eating and cleaning was extremely frustrating. It helped me to realize how much better it is for both the boys and leaders when we are seperated by at least 50 feet.

 

Normally the adults cook and eat as a patrol seperated by at least 50 feet from the lads. Once they have declared they are all finished, we send a representative to stroll by the area to ensure that food is not left out to spoil or attract animals. We then task the SPL with ensuring sufficent cleanup to prevent either problem. We would prefer a spotless cleanup but accept/tolerate a minimally safe cleanup.

 

I had the experience of a typical parent of facilitaing my scout in his grubmaster duties and dropping him off to go on a camping trip under troop supervision while staying behind wondering if all will go well. The same weekend I had the ASM experience of herding scouts as well as being in the very center of their patrol chaos due to limited camping space. 20 additional feet of space in the campsite would have made a huge difference.

 

Both the scoutmaster and I would look over and move a grease soaked papertowel away from the stove or similar action. Then we would see some other condition that we would feel obligated to correct. Several times I had to get up and walk away to prevent interfereing with the patrol dynamics. Both the scoutmaster and I tried valently to not get dragged into the patrol. Even with are years of scouting experience, the parent/adult reaction of solving problems was a difficult force to battle.

 

While Kudu exposes 300 feet, often as little as 50 feet is enough to provide the necessary buffer.

[Scoutfish]

Not gonna lie, I almost bit my tongue a few times just to not say something. But I manage to not say anything ANd not bite my tongue slam off either!

 

I did - in one particular instance - interfear, but I did so without ever directing or telling the scout what to do. I am the ASM assigned to the NSP.

 

It went like this:

 

Scout is using fork to poke at and diddle with 4 pieces of turky bacon that is in frying pan that is on Coleman stove.

 

ME: How's that bacon coming along?

 

Scout: Pretty good, I can almost smell it.

 

ME: So it's cooking pretty okay? Not too hot or not too cool?

 

Scout: WEll, taking a little bit longer than when I cook it at home, but the stove is just older.

 

Me - looking at gas bottle connector/valve that is still tucked into it's slot between the burners under the pan of turkey bacon: Do you have everything hooked up right? It could cause it to not cook right if it's not hooked up correctly.

 

Scout: Yeah, it's just like the stove at home.

 

ME: Okay, if you say so, but sometimes, you need to check, double cjheck, and check again. Especially with this older ( 2006) stove.

 

So the scout looks at the stove, kinda gives me this embarassed look, takes the frying pan off the stove, removes the grate and then hooks up the gas bottle and starts the fire and begins cooking.

 

This scout was used to just turning the knob on , on the electric stove his mom has.

 

Now, the only reason I interfeared at all wa due to the fact that they had a limited time to cook, eat, clean up, and hike out the 1/2 mile to the flag ceremony.

 

That and I never did tell him what was wrong, just steered him to be in a position to discover on his own what was wrong.

 

 

"You, Scoutfish, are a bit unusual."

 

Yeah, That would be true!

 

[eagle90]

In my many years experience, fortunately, it is the parents who have 95% of the problems in transitioning to Boy Scouts. The boys seem to get the program and flourish in it.

 

Dale

[desertrat77]

If you listen to scouts sharing their favorite memories, usually they involve some crazy thing that happened, a mishap they worked thru, getting caught in the sudden downpour on a hike, the breafast they incinerated and they starved till lunch, etc.

 

And if an adult it mentioned, it's usually in the context of a personality quirk, type of hat, a favorite goofy campfire song....

 

Only later will they truly appreciate the role of their ASM/SM. For the scouts to grow, they've gotta go thru those tough times. In retrospect, they will better understand the balance the adults had as being responsible for their welfare, and being good examples, and at the same time, letting the scouts experience adventure.

 

But that's the catch--only later will most realize it. That's as it should be.