Youth Protection Issue?

[weblinger08]

Not wanting to start a witch hunt, but we have a current leader, who has recently gotten divorced, and is getting verbally violent with the ex wife and kids (not at a Scouting event). She is working on getting a restraining order to keep him away from her and the kids (two boys who are in the Troop), what is the Troop's responsibility to enforce the Court's order?

 

My thought is that the Leader should be asked to leave, as we are here for the boys, but he's firmly entrenched in the "old boy's network".

 

Thoughts?

 

[Tampa Turtle]

You are taking sides and that is a mistake. "Working on a restraining order" and having a court awarded restraining order are two different things. And also if that restraining order is toward the wife OR the wife and kids. Then I presume the wife will need to share that restraining order with the C.O and CC. At that point IMHO any legal responsibility begins.

 

A lot of divorced couples are verbally abusive. It can get pretty ugly.

 

I know some of the Scouters here are lawyers though and probably know better.

[Engineer61]

Neither the Troop nor the CO can "enforce" the restraining order, even if the Troop or CO obtained the order. Enforcement of the order is for local law enforcement (and Courts) to do.

 

I suspect that even if you ask the SM to leave, it is unlikely that the boys will be back until this blows over some.

 

 

 

 

[weblinger08]

He's a Committee member, not the SM. Yes, we do need to wait and see what, if any, court order is given. It is being requested for both the mom and Kids, and she is the one with full custody who brings the boys to the meetings.

[dennis99ss]

I would think that, if such an order is granted, wife needs to inform and provide copy of order to troop. Troop then has duty to make sure that kids don't go with hubby, just as you would not let kids go with someone you don't know. If hubby shows up, call the wife.

[Oak Tree]

I don't think of this as a "youth protection issue", at least not in the terms that BSA normally uses.

 

It certainly is a legal issue that you need to address. Presumably, if a restraining order is obtained that requires him to stay away from the kids, he would not be able to attend troop meetings. You wouldn't have to do anything special to enforce this. I wouldn't see how the troop would have any more "responsibility to enforce the Court's order" than any other person or organization. As a leader, I'd hate being placed in the middle of this.

 

You don't need to ask him to leave. The Court is asking him not to show up, assuming that the order is granted.

 

I think I'd sit back, wait, and not have the troop leaders take sides.

[John-in-KC]

This is not a youth protection issue.

 

This may become a matter of membership in the unit (not BSA) under the supervision of the Chartered Partner.

 

For now, do nothing, unless you like being sued for defamation.

 

If a restraining order is issued, that is a proper matter for the CC, the COR, and the IH to sit down at the office worktable and have a businesslike discussion. The outcomes can range from "When you are with us, ensure you comply with your restraining order" to "We're sorry, but you can no longer serve our unit."

 

Membership within the unit is a Chartered Partner matter.

 

 

[acco40]

When my oldest son was in Cub Scouts (I was not the den leader) one of his fellow den mates had divorced parents who had restraining orders against each other. They also had some sort of joint custody or visitation decree. The leaders were held responsible, by the parents, to make sure only the proper parent picked up the boy - something that I think was grossly unfair to the den leader.

 

Again, not a youth protection issue in the literal sense.

[Scoutfish]

Like others have said, not a YP issue, but it does sound like a possible Troop functiality issue.

 

Okay, so the dad is getting a divorce. Nobody is gonna be happy faced and twinkly toed. I understand that. And the reason for the divorce could just as easily be her fault.

 

Don't know, don't care, don't matter.

 

But, the feel I get from the OP is that - even though it wasn't at a troop function, it has been witnessed by others that dad is "verbally violent" with mom.

 

In what way. Mad? Cussing? Telling her that he will come out on top in the divorce? That she won't get a cent?

 

Nothing extreamly dangerous sounding there. It is a divorce you kn ow.

 

Now, what I am getting is that sides are already been taken here. Mom "says" she is getting a restraining order, and you are already tralking about how dad is gonna get kicked out?

 

You wouldn't be taking mom's side already are you...before anything has even been done yet.

 

WHat if the restraining order is turned down for lack of credible reason? What if mom is just as verbally violnet to dad? Gonna tell her to stay away too?

 

I am not saying you shouldn't do anything, but don't jump the gun. Aside form the parenst and boys, you may give the troop a bad reputation real quick here.

 

 

[weblinger08]

Yes, two sides to every story I know. We'll have to wait and see if the protection order is granted, and then do our best for the two boys who are in the Troop.

 

Thanks everyone

[Basementdweller]

ahhh the divorce...

 

 

Nothing to be done till the order is finalized and I doubt they will stop him from seeing his boys.....for that to happen he needs to get physical with the boys......

 

 

so how do the boys feel about dear old dad????? Do they want dad to be involved?????

 

Again one side of the story......

 

weblinger is mom or involved with mom????

[weblinger08]

Nope, nothing to do with the family other than a friend. One of the boys is Dad's favorite, the other two don't get much attention, or want it from Dad.

[nldscout]

Definately not an issue the troop or the Co should be involved in.

 

Using NY courts as an example if she gets a full stay away order then the obligation is on him to obey it. If he doesn't then he is going to get arrested for a new crime for violating the order.

 

But unless he turns violent at a troop meeting, you cannot enforce the provisions of the order. The CO could ban him if its going to be an issue because you do not want to get dragged into court to have to testify against him.

 

Odd that I should be writing this when the police called for just the same situation, except now I get to go see the wife who is probably on her way to jail.

[Basementdweller]

Having dealt with this......In Ohio as well....

 

Mom tried to get a restraining order.....she did for herself but not the kids.....

 

So what happened was mom dropped the son off and then had to leave the scout events if dad was attending.....

 

 

This was cub level not boy scout level.

 

[Papadaddy]

I agree with the Judge...the unit should not be put in the position of monitoring dad's compliance. I would tell mom that...if she wants to ensure the order is complied with, then she needs to monitor that. If she pulls the kids from the unit, then so be it. Let he rknow that this is a family matter and you're not getting in the middle of it. The kids will suffer, but they've already made that decision.