Female - Male wired behaviors in Scouting

[Basementdweller]

Wow.....

 

 

I am rolling on the floor laughing......

 

so why in the world would you join boy scouts if your going to tent with dad on campouts.......

 

No 300 feet in that troop, webelos 3, Cub Scout Troop, man scouts and every other derogatory scout term you can thing of...........

 

That is really weak..... anyone with a troop like that should be a shamed....thats right they probably aren't.

 

 

So we are back to NO PARENTS on camp outs and the minimum two adults......

 

I may complain about no extra adults on outings or helping with the troop......I recant everything I said.....I would never trade my situation financial, or otherwise for anything in the above thread.

 

I am going to thank both of my kids for being nothing but who they are......

 

Thank you for brightening my evening.

 

 

 

 

[Deaf Scouter]

Tent sleeping...

 

In Cub Scouts we were together in a borrowed tent. I find it hard to see buddies together unless the parents are buddies too or they have an extra tent. During our years (my son and I) of Cub Scouting, it seems none of the boys slept with buddies as we rarely tent camped. We did more sleep in kinds of events If we did, it was with the council 'family cub scout weekend' at the local scout camp. We never even saw the need to buy camping equipment.

 

My second time around without my son... oh SURE, camping was pushed. That Cub Scout group was unique in the bonds of friendships between parents and boys. There definitely was buddy camping. Many saw the need to get camping equipment. (I already had mine from Troop camping) Now that I reflect, I really wished my son and I had done our Cub camping with the second pack I was a part of. We didn't Scout around and compare Packs but rather signed up with the first one we heard about which was announced by a classroom father in my son's Open House School Night (*hint on the recruitment tool) There really is a little more country mind set in the second Pack and 10 miles can make a world of differences.

 

As for our Troop experience, our first campout with them was with our new tent on a Troop family whitewater rafting trip which was a campout within Boy Scout but families turned out in droves. While the other families didn't do the Troop's weekly Spring campouts, my son and I did every one of them together. It was shortly after that someone put a stop to my son and I camping together. (I was camping as a parent not a leader. BSA regulation was not brought to my attention as they were busy recruiting us back to Scouting. Please remember we did not transition to Troop right after Cub Scouts but took a couple years off because we moved.) When there was not enough Troop tents to go round then my son and I camped together. Now that I think about it my tent was always over there ----> alone...*laughing

 

I never trained as a Boy Scout leader nor did I go in leader capacity. In fact much later after my son and I were done, I was called to come help with a couple of campouts because there not enough adults going. I never did ANY winter campout as I politely pushed out of it. This winter was the first time I did cabin camping in all my years of Scouting and have to say I'll take TENT camping any day and any weather. Tent camping is more F U N!!!

 

It was much later that a Scouter pulled me into getting IOLS on a campout stating that if I was going on all these campouts I should get some 'training' so I could teach the boys 'proper' tools usage and help with 'instruction'. During my second time around as a Cub Scouter that I actually 'understood' the regulations part. I fell into den leadership so den programming was my only focus. Roundtable even pushed 'programming' by doing 'ideas'. I realize the second time around how much information I missed. Training was NOT pushed during my first experience while during my second it was. I now push training myself. I'm already pushing my Troop parents and Scouters to getting IOLS so that camping experience puts us all on the same page. I got a couple I'm going to push next toward Scoutmaster training.

 

The backpacking one was a one night incident that was the best solution at the time. All of the Scouts slept with they own child as the tents were their own personal backpacking tents. My son and I took our regular tent as no one would loan us a backpacking tent. The one scout that was NOT with parent and in a borrowed backpacking tent that he had NOT been setting up properly. It never mattered the other nights that he hadn't until 'the' night when it POURED'. (his other 3 buddies were sent home due to bad behavior and told they were not mature enough to back pack) I was VERY conscious of the YPT rules hence the reason my son was in the middle of us and I got lousy sleep. Thankfully it was the last night of the 50 miler journey.

[Deaf Scouter]

Packsaddle..

Never heard those 'sweetie' or 'honey' words. Maybe they are afraid I'd think they were hitting onto me and reprimand them for not being trustworthy to their wives... *teasing grin

 

Cooked food burns and dish washing sanitizer takes care of the unsanitary hands. I do have to wonder who started packing the alcohol based one that I REFUSE to use. Don't they know that alcohol dries out a woman soft skin... *smirks

[Deaf Scouter]

*laughing at how a thread brightens one's day, Basement

 

'Blessings in disguises' comes to mind... *winka

 

I too have found a wealth to be gained through these forums and kinda wish they were around long ago when I begun the Scouting journey. At least they are now a tool for so many.. *smiles

 

Summing it up its not really a thing of gender at all but certain behaviors to watch out for regardless of gender like the overprotective/ clinging parent and the untrained Scouter/ parent along with some very bad habits that need breaking like talking directly male to male or using terms of endearment on someone other than one's spouse... huh?

 

(Still remember the confusion one had on me using 'son' on the boards here for any young boy and I thought my son... *laughing)

 

Guess life is and will always be an adventure... *grins

[ScoutNut]

The "sweetie/honey" names are not really terms of endearment, they are more of a cultural thing. Some cultures, areas, families, tend to use those terms instead of the more formal "ma'am", or "sir".

 

Personally I find them extremely irritating, especially when used by a person I do not know, or one significantly younger than me.

 

The last time someone I did not know called me "honey" I replied with "well thanks sweetie pie, but honey is not my name". Gave them a bit of a pause.

[Deaf Scouter]

I'll bet it gave them pause ScoutNut. Got a Southern gentleman who always calls any gal 'Sugar'. He knows he's come North when gals give him dirty looks... *laughing

 

Some habits are just so hard to break and done without thinking. Isn't 'til you move to a different location that turns things on oneself... *grins at the possible outcomes

[packsaddle]

Heck, I married a yankee. We spend plenty of time up north and I DO it up there FOR the dirty looks, lol. It warms my heart when during a conversation with yankee females, one of them leans to me and says, "Say something - say something else...." And I just lay it on thick. We all have a great time.

 

ScoutNut, honey, if you ever get down this way, I'll gladly shoo the chickens off the sofa so you can have a place to rest a spell after we eat one of them chickens.

[ScoutNut]

Thanks Pack, but I prefer to rest a spell by the 'ole watering hole, sipping some something tasty, and catching my dinner!

[qwazse]

Growing up, we had an ASM who called his boys "honeybunch". He was a coal mining, rugged, salt of the earth in a coal mining county. His boys were pretty scrappy. Nobody dissed anybody over it.

 

As I mentioned in another thread, Middle Eastern custom requires terms of endearment in conversation. Omission would indicate a sense of superiority along the lines of master-slave relationship. So we grew up speaking to kinds of English: one with a lot of extra verbiage like "beloved", "beautiful", "darling", etc... around family and old country friends. Another short and to the point around Anglos. You could tell the difference by age. (I used them far less than my older siblings.)

 

Just heard a piece on the radio about a linguist who analyzed speed dating conversations. He asserted that in our modern use of American English the speaker who uses "I" more often is usually in an inferior social status, whereas someone who omits the use of the word is in a superior status. Daters' preferences were predicted more by their choice of such functional words than any other factor.

 

Makes me wonder if some of our preferences in the units we choose (or in the bias of a unit towards including femal leaders) has to do with differences in linguistic cues that makes feel more welcome (or more willing to welcome). So there's a pack that really doesn't fit your boy's style, but the dad or your son's buddy explains things in such a nice way that you feel instantly welcome before you darken the door of a meeting.

[Deaf Scouter]

Qwazse.. That's a thought on the linguistic cues.

 

For me its body language cues that are telling and very confusing when people don't realize what they say doesn't match with their body language like telling someone you welcome them yet have your arms crossed across your chest which signals just the opposite, you don't welcome them.

[dennis99ss]

I am kind of lost on the op's thoughts or questions. I don't understand if there is a problem with the boy being told to sleep with the scouts or not. If that is the issue, then, yes, the scout should not sleep with the parent, but, if there is a need for it, i.e. anxiety attackes, etc., then I wholeheartedly want the scout to stay with the parent, if that will get the scout out to the campout. Maybe being in the group will help the scout, etc.

 

But, on terms of endearment, I am know to greet droopy eyed scouts in the morning, after they stay up past lights out in their tents playing cards, etc. with "GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE!!"