The Beavah Guide to where to complain

[Beavah]

Yah, so I was thinkin' about the "hypothetical" thread and I sort of thought that perhaps folks needed some sort of guide on where, when, and how to complain about stuff. So let me try, and then others can fill in, and maybe others can join in and we'll have a thread we can refer "hypotheticals" to.

 

You're a scouter, and you think a boy may being abused or neglected at home

Call Child Protective Services in your state (there's often a hotline number) and file a confidential report. Yeh may discuss your concerns with a professional in your chain of command (Chartered Organization if a unit scouter, Scout Executive if a district or council scouter) if yeh need advice/perspective, but with no one else. (Yeh are not granted immunity from tort action for slander if yeh talk to anyone else). If you believe the child is in imminent danger or have direct evidence of abuse, call law enforcement.

 

You're a scouter or parent, and you have evidence that a boy has been physically or sexually abused by anyone outside of the home

Call law enforcement. If the abuser is a scouter or the abuse happened in scouting, also call the Chartered Organization Representative and Head of the Chartered Organization (if in unit scouting), and the Council Scout Executive.

 

You're a scouter and you feel a boy is being bullied by a peer

Deal with it, that's your job. Work with the other scouters to protect the kid and take appropriate disciplinary action. Involve the troop committee if appropriate to consider removing the bully from the program.

 

You're a parent and you feel your son is being bullied by a peer

Tell the scoutmaster/unit leader and explain your concern rationally and in detail. Give the SM some time and space to address the matter, and work collaboratively with him/her. If the bullying continues or gets worse, notify the Committee Chair and Chartered Org. Rep. and move your son to a new troop.

 

You're a parent and you feel your son is being "bullied", yelled at inappropriately, disciplined unfairly, etc. by the scoutmaster or one of the other scouters.

Give it a few days to calm down, then make arrangements to talk to the scouter in question at a time and place where you can speak frankly. Share your concerns. Listen carefully to his/her side and promise to think about it. If things continue or get worse, notify the Scoutmaster, Committee Chair, and/or Chartered Org. Rep, and move your son to another troop.

 

You're a parent and you feel that your son's scouting program is doing something unsafe. Make arrangements to talk to the Scoutmaster at a time and place where you can speak frankly. Be open-minded; some things that seem unsafe (ex. rock climbing) are really very safe. If you still aren't comfortable, don't let your son participate in that activity, or consider another troop. Send a note to the Chartered Org. Rep. about your concern.

 

You're a parent and you're upset about some issue of advancement for your son. Despite how hard it is, give your son some time and space to work through it himself. Advancement is like a sports game, sometimes the referees make a poor call, but it still isn't good form to argue balls and strikes with the umpire. Try not to take it too seriously. If there's somethin' that's persistent, make arrangements to talk to the Scoutmaster at a time and place you can speak frankly. Consider making respectful, patient use of the BSA appeals process if necessary, but in that case also move your son to another troop.

 

You're a unit scouter or parent and are upset by the actions of a district or council volunteer or professional Make an appointment to talk with the person in question privately at a time and place yeh can have a good conversation. If after doin' so the problem continues, speak with the person's supervisor (Camp Program Director, Camp Director, District Commissioner, Scout Executive, etc.). Be respectful, and share your concern. If yeh feel it necessary, address the matter to your Chartered Org. Rep. and ask him/her to address it officially with the Council.

 

You're a scouter and you're frustrated by a parent Get used to it! Consider whether a different scouter in your unit might be better at dealing with this particular problem case. Make an appointment to meet with the parent at a time and place of your choosing for a frank conversation about expectations. If the problem persists and affects too much of your time or the program for other boys, approach the committee to suspend or remove the family. If the parent has behaved poorly to other people's children, work with your CC and COR and inform them they are no longer welcome at unit events.

 

You're a parent and yeh don't care for the behavior of another parent. Get used to it! We can't all be as good a parent as you. Give each family its space. If yeh really feel the person's behavior is seriously compromising the program for other boys, pull the parent aside and offer your perspective respectfully. Give 'em some time and space to think about it and make changes. If that doesn't work and yeh really feel the person is jeopardizing the program for other kids, make an appointment with the Scoutmaster to discuss your concerns. Give the Scoutmaster lots of time and the benefit of the doubt as he/she tries to work on the situation.

 

If you are tempted to call National, the District Executive / Scout Executive, etc. over a complaint about your son's scouting experience... Don't. It is not effective and will at best be a waste of your time as that's not their role (except as described above). These people are businessmen "hired" by your unit with responsibilities for coordinating resources. Nothing more (or less). They aren't supervisors of your troop, they aren't investigators of complaints, they aren't trained child social workers.

 

Beavah

 

[Tampa Turtle]

Thank you, this is excellent. I am sure some nitpicking will follow. Moderator THIS DESERVES A STICKY.

[Kahuna]

Good advice Beavah!

[packsaddle]

Wouldn't it be refreshing to have it expressed in this direct, understandable manner in BSA literature? It would be less than a page and yet possibly save SO...MUCH...TIME.

[desertrat77]

Beavah, well done, thanks!

 

I concur with packsaddle...clear, frank writing is powerful and a welcome change from what organizations normally publish.(This message has been edited by desertrat77)

[acco40]

Generally good advice. Unfortunately, those that complain the most usually are the ones who do the least to understand the program so they may not expose themselves to such advice.

[5yearscouter]

Except for a couple places where it says scoutmaster, and it could say scoutmaster or cubmaster, it's a pretty nice list.

 

I especially like the last one. Just dealt with some complaints recently from a couple parents, directed to the Program director at council about a unit which was not exactly the right place to take the complaint so it wasn't effective and made the adults even madder to seem ignored.

[Scoutfish]

This should be page 3 of the BSA book:

 

G2RS Guide to Realworld Scouting

[DeanRx]

"Except for a couple places where it says scoutmaster, and it could say scoutmaster or cubmaster, it's a pretty nice list."

 

Na.... I'm a cubmaster and I'd be fine with any complaints from cub parents going to a scoutmaster. I don't care which one, just pick a troop and go complain

 

Overall, a very well written list Beavah, thank you for your input.

 

Dean

[Eamonn]

I'm very OK with the list.

Maybe as an add on adding, listening, talking and advising your son in different situations nd circumstances might be a good idea?

"Daddy dear, Ea yelled at me. I'm upset."

"My dear boy I'll..."

A/ phone the DE and report that this horrible man should not ever be allowed around young people ever again"

B/ "This is a clear case of verbal abuse, I'll phone children and youth services.

C/" "I'm going to punch that skinny little fellow on the nose!"

D/ "Why did he yell at you? What were you doing? Where were you doing it? When did it happen?

As for advise.

How about:

Have you talked to him about it?

Maybe he was just having a bad day?

"Grow up!"

Ea.

[Eagle732]

You could date when each of Eamonn's choices would have been a typical parent response.

 

2010's - A/ phone the DE and report that this horrible man should not ever be allowed around young people ever again"

1990's - B/ "This is a clear case of verbal abuse, I'll phone children and youth services.

1970's - C/" "I'm going to punch that skinny little fellow on the nose!"

1950's - D/ "Why did he yell at you? What were you doing? Where were you doing it? When did it happen?

[SeattlePioneer]

I have a Tiger Cub Den Leader who's a pretty good guy, but every time he bends over you get quite a view of the Visible Butt Crack.

[SR540Beaver]

I'll shorten and simplify the list.

 

1. Use the common sense that God gave you.

 

2. Do unto others as you'd have others do unto you.

 

3. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

[Twocubdad]

How about the advice my son's first-teacher gave us:

 

"You don't do everything they say about us and we won't belive everything they say about you."

[Federalist]

Beavah,

 

Well done!

 

Federalist