Have you ever asked the Parents?

[Engineer61]

I'm curious ... for you SM's and ASM's out there ...

 

We all know the emphasis on YPT, two deep ... da .. da .. da.

 

Have you ever asked your Scout's parents if they trust it?

 

Each of your troops have potentially dozens of parents who are relegated to the sidelines for every outing, summer camp and activity that your troop does.

 

We all see and hear about the abuse cases ... Oregon, Turley that directly involved BSA.

 

I wonder what you would hear if you had a meeting with all of your parents, or better yet a blind town hall with a non-Scout moderator and asked what they thought?

 

Has anyone ever done that?

[OldGreyEagle]

Sorry Engineer, I am confused when you say

 

"Each of your troops have potentially dozens of parents who are relegated to the sidelines for every outing, summer camp and activity that your troop does."

 

The Guide to Safe Scouting says

 

"...The Boy Scouts of America does not recognize any secret organizations as part of its program. All aspects of the Scouting program are open to observation by parents and leaders."

 

http://www.scouting.org/scoutsource/HealthandSafety/GSS/gss01.aspx#a

 

How does that relegate any parent/guardian to the sidelins?

 

 

As far as do the parents trust us? No, I have never asked, then again every outing we go on, from WhiteWater Rafting to backpacking to the local Camporee is a referendum on the parent's trust of the troop's adults. If they didnt trust us, why in the world would they allow their kids to come with us?(This message has been edited by oldgreyeagle)

[resqman]

The troop I serve discourages parents from attending outings unless they have taken YPT. 20 minutes online. We show the YPT video as a troop meeting usually in April for all scouts and scouters.

 

I am not aware of any attempt by our troop to poll the parents about the effectiviness of YPT or the troops implmentation of YPT.

 

If a parent or parents has concerns, I would recommend they first take the YPT online training and start attending events. If that does not satisfy their concerns, I would recommend they look for a troop that better fits their needs.

[Basementdweller]

Well, engineer.....you could go on the camp outs. They cannot tell you no.

[perdidochas]

Engineer61,

 

Not sure what your point is? Parents are welcome at any event we have. That definitely includes camping. If the parents didn't trust the leaders and YPT, I don't think they'd allow their boys to come on campouts with us.

[Oak Tree]

I'm assuming that Engineer61 is asking whether we've ever had an open meeting on the topic of youth protection in our troop.

 

We have not had such a meeting. We did have some meetings when we used to show the video "A Time To Tell" to let the parents preview it and bring up any concerns, and a few opted out of having their kids watch it.

 

Thinking out loud, if we were to hold such a meeting, presumably the purpose would be to get those parents that aren't all that involved to be a bit more comfortable with the protective measures that we take. I really think, though, that the parents who are the most wary of things are the ones who either don't put their kids in Scouts, or else they come along on the camping trips until they are more comfortable. I don't think holding a meeting would be all that productive. Our leadership is pretty open - I'd hope that anyone that had concerns would come and talk to us.

[OldGreyEagle]

Having read a few other responses, I do think I have an addition. Every year we "Audition" for bridging Webelos. The parents come and visit a troop meeting. We talk to the adults and tell them how the troop is structured. We introduce ourseleves and talk about our experience. We invite them on a Campout, we know the parents are going to more than one troop, we want them too. We want them to pick the troop they feel most comfortable with. I would rather have a den go to another troop because they "Like" the scoutmaster more than ours then drop scouting alltogether, I would hope that when they allow their son to join the troop I serve, they did so because they trust the adults. I am not sure running around asking if they trust us a lot would do anything but raise a question

 

[Beavah]

Da abuse rate among scouters is no higher than it is among teachers, coaches, ministers, and other similar folks. It's of course significantly less than it is for relatives and parents, who are statistically the most likely abusers. Only difference is that da BSA is a national organization, where most sports/schools/churches are not, so what looks like isolated incidences for the latter looks like s big problem for da former. If we ever accumulated da record of "parents" as though they were a national organization, there'd be laws in every state prohibiting parenthood.

 

I'd never tell parents to "trust" a policy like two-deep or any of the other YPT stuff. By and large those are just institutional policies designed to limit liability. What yeh really need to do to protect your children is help 'em be their own person, work to see you as someone they can genuinely turn to on hard issues, and make sure there are a number of other good people in your child's life they can also confide in. Abusers only succeed when they are able to limit access kids have to other good people.

 

So da more proper poll is this one eh: have you ever asked your child? Have you ever asked your child whether they would turn to you with a question about sex, drugs, or rock and roll? Have you ever asked your child if you weren't available or didn't give 'em a good answer, who would they turn to? Have yeh ever really worked to keep all those lines of communication open... To you, to trusted relatives, to good friends, to trusted mentors?

 

Don't trust a policy. Trust your child, and give him/her da resources and support and confidence to protect himself.

 

That's why I think da stranger danger nonsense is so much crap, eh? When a child is in trouble, he should feel comfortable and confident in turning to anyone, even a single, male, young stranger for help. Abusers isolate. They can only succeed in isolation. If a lad is comfortable asking the guy behind da counter at the gym for help because coach is abusing him, that's a YP win.

 

Beavah

[The Blancmange]

>>>>Have you ever asked your Scout's parents if they trust it?

[The Blancmange]

>>>> If a lad is comfortable asking the guy behind da counter at the gym for help because coach is abusing him, that's a YP win.

[Stosh]

I have never asked the parents, but as part of my troop orientation, every scout gets the "abuse" lecture. If anyone is bullying, or making you uncomfortable in any way, tell someone. If it's another scout, tell me, if it's me tell your parents, if it's your parents, etc. If all else fails, the boys are instructed to call 9-1-1.

 

I've never had a problem that couldn't be resolved with this process. With or without YPT, the system works.

 

And I was foisted on my own petard. The boys complained to their parents that I was expecting too much leadership out of them and giving them too much responsibility and they didn't want to do the work, and so I have moved on at the directive of the CO who fielded the calls. So, did I talk with the parents? Nope, they had a secret meeting with the CO, CC, DE, ASM and Committee to which I was not invited. The CC came out of the meeting and told me their decision. I was in the middle of teaching the boys the Hillcourt patrol-method instructional material.

 

Stosh

[Scoutfish]

The very fact that parents ask us if the "have" to attend a campout or meeting with their son or if they can drop him off pretty much tells me that most of the parents trust us wether it's due to YP or just that they trust us.

 

Sure, some parents would trust their kids with matches and a can of gasoline , but it's still trust.

[IM_Kathy]

I do trust the leaders in my son's troop. Being a scouter with the troop as well I know about YP... and actually if a parent really took the online class I don't think that would make them more trusting.

 

YP works because the adults follow the rules. but if an adult wants to abuse a scout there are plenty of ways to go about it without anyone finding out. but that's where the other adults also have to watch the adults to make sure they follow YP.

 

the way YP is actually set up it protects the adults more than the boys. when following YP it would be hard to abuse a scout unless the 2nd adult is also wanting to abuse the scout. but in making sure I'm not 1 on 1 with a scout then there is a witness to what took place and no "he said she said"

[Lisabob]

I think there's an underlying assumption (expressed in some of Engineer61's other posts, too) that parents CANNOT trust scout leaders. It is evident that this is the case for Engineer61 and that he can't imagine how come many others here don't share his distrust.

 

So let me explain how I came to trust the adult leaders in my son's current troop. Fundamentally: I got involved, and I communicated.

 

When my son was in cubs, I was a cub leader. I did this in part to be involved in his life (cubs is a wonderful family program) and in part because other adults weren't doing it. Someone needed to so I did. Over those 4 years I got to know other parents and other scout leaders in the area, by attending events and by participating in training, roundtable, more training, etc.

 

Perhaps because I had done all the training, read all the literature, and gotten my facts together, I knew about YPT, having done it myself. I had also explained it to the parents of the boys in my Webelos den on numerous occasions. I never questioned whether YPT alone is adequate though, because without trusting the individual leaders, YPT is useless. The real question isn't "what's the process?" The real question is "do you believe people will follow the process?"

 

By the time my son was ready for boy scouting, I knew probably 70% of the leaders in every troop in our district. Some, I wouldn't trust with a block of wood, let alone with my child. Some are nice people but lousy scout leaders by temperament or by skill level. A few are probably good scout leaders and nice people but not the role model I wanted for my son, or their value systems are too far away from my own. Again- it isn't/wasn't about whether I trusted YPT - it was about whether I trusted these people to follow (among other things) YPT.

 

The first troop my son was in, when he joined I had gotten to know and trusted the leadership. I knew who was trained and who wasn't, who had which skills, which temperaments, etc. But also, I used common sense - spent some time at a few outings, hung around the back of the room at troop meetings, joined the troop committee and got to know more folks, or know them better. And I kept open communication with them and with my son. If I heard things that sounded strange, I asked. I sought input from other adults that I trusted - and sometimes I offered my input to them, if I had concerns. Communication is a two-way street.

 

Over the years leadership changed in that troop. And to be fair, my son grew and changed, too. Toward the end of his time in the troop there had been some incidents (not abuse, but unpleasantness) that eroded my son's and my trust in the common sense and values of the present leadership. After being unable to work that out, my son chose to leave the troop and I supported that decision.

 

When he went looking for a new troop, we again evaluated what we knew about the leadership of potential troops. He ultimately chose a troop where the leader was known to him from other interactions, where he trusts and respects the adult and youth leadership. Incidentally, I've known his present scoutmaster for more than 10 years and I felt completely confident in his judgment. Not because he has taken YPT (he has), but because I've spent time with him and around him and I think I know what his moral compass is and how he reacts to different situations - including some difficult ones. I don't have qualms about how he would interact with my son. The same goes for most of the rest of the adult leadership in this troop. The ones I didn't know, I've made an effort to get to know.

 

That plan of action - get involved, know the people you are entrusting with your child, ask questions & communicate regularly - seems to work pretty well. I wouldn't advocate that someone just drop off their child and hope for the best, but I wouldn't encourage people to be irrationally afraid, either. This is the advice I give to parents whose boys are crossing over into boy scouting. Seems to work for most of them, too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[qwazse]

As a crew advisor, this comes to the fore a lot. I've known parents who simply couldn't trust the YP guidelines to keep their daughter (on case it was a son) safe. Explaining the G2SS to them in detail didn't help. One youth upon turning 18 wanted to join the crew, and I encouraged her to still get the okay of her folks. It was sad when they didn't approve, but I told her I admired her for respecting their wishes and left it at that.

 

The parents who could trust us were the ones who were willing to come on outings and see things in operation.