how would your troop handle a rumor of a bisexual scout?

[moosetracker]

Eagle92 - Definately No public school would do a thing to make this kid think he was not treated as an equal, or they would be pulled into a court system faster then you could say "Lawyer".. And I would pre-fix the private schools as only those who have conservative issues.. Because most of the private schools would also treat them as equals if they can not hold up any type of reason why their beliefs system or overall school vision is against it.

 

Also my little speech was not about the chain of command.. That would be IH (which you had reason why that was out.) Then you DE (who might want to know before the SE, rather then being blindsided by it by the SE, and may be the better first person)..

 

It was more about, just not allowing them to fight this fight with one youth and a family who does not know the ropes, and is fearful of the council thinking they are some unreachable high power and are intimidated by them.. That is what bullies count on, their victims remaining powerless and defensless by not seeking help. It is also about the more damage this boy will suffer if it is dragged along for months.. It is best to knock them out cold, at the very least get them to stop ASAP.

 

If the rumors in the troop are as wide as you say and the family feels everyone in the troop knows what it is.. Then I think a public appolgy by them would be in order, to stop anyone else who wishes to spread the rumor outside of the troop.. Something Generic like "You may have heard about the investigation we started against xyz, we were totally wrong & sorry.." Wouldn't hurt the scouts reputation any more then it is now, and would do loads to fix it. Of course if the council investigates and deems the 5 should be dismissed pronto.. That would also work to restore the scouts reputation, without the public appology..

 

Does your troop have enough adult leadership to survive if the 5 bozo's are dismissed?

 

Edited to add: BP I do agree with your idea of not making it public.. The question is, how public has the 5 leaders made it already, and how do you undo the damage quickly. If it is public, then the stop of the rumor at the level it has progressed and no more further should be made in a way not to drag out all the dirt, but in a way to just say.. "This was a mistake,and should not have happened."(This message has been edited by moosetracker)

[John-in-KC]

BadenP and I often have differences.

 

His most recent comment is not one of them. He nailed it to the wall.

 

 

[Eagle92]

Moose,

Understand now, and agree.

 

BP,

110% spot on.

[The Blancmange]

I guess I don't understand BP's concerns about turning this into a "public spectacle." Is he referring to the advice given to the OP, the vast majority of which was to report the incident to the SE, or is he saying that this discussion thread itself is a public spectacle? If the former, the issue has already been made public within the circle of the unit involved. Reporting it to the SE won't make that any more so, in fact the SE would likely handle it more discretely.

If the latter, then if that is the case, we might as well shut down the forum. There is nothing fundamentally different about this thread than any other thread where someone has described a situation involving their unit and sought advice. There isn't any information in the thread that would allow someone to personally identify the people or unit involved. As far as any of us are concerned, this might as well be a hypothetical situation.

[Twocubdad]

I agree with BP as well but with the one obvious caveat that the decision is up to the family. If they feel the best way to help their son is to publicly clear his name, I would support them.

 

We've imagined that the boy is conflicted in his sexuality and on the edge of suicide over all this -- and it is absolutely proper to err on that side of caution. But the fellow may be not be conflicted at all but just got tired of putting up with the bull from the jackasses at camp.

 

Defending one's self can be great for one's self esteem.

[BadenP]

Blanc

 

If you had read my prior posts you would know the public spectacle I was referring to was concerning the troop and local community this kid lives in the schools he attends if this became public odds are the kid and his family would have to move away. The other concern is how these so called scout leaders are dealt with, others here have suggested that their actions be made public and then of course the reason why they did it would also become public. This comes down do what is best for the boy and his welfare, if his parents truly care for him they would want this handled as discreetly as possible.

 

I never referred to this forum, and as we have seen in another thread in here recently an article was posted about a young man being awarded his Eagle Scout with pictures and the OP then posted severe negative allegations about the boy. Eamonn took care of it but not before many people had read the thread and formed and posted their own conclusions.

[Basementdweller]

Trying to get my head around all the drama here.

 

a 17 year old scout, while on camp staff, is called gay and spouts back he is not gay but bisexual. Another troop member also on staff digs up pics from facebook and start the rumor mill going.

 

Upon returning from camp staff duties.....The Adult Troop leadership call the Scout into a private meeting in which the events were discussed in some fashion. Scouts mom asks SM about meeting and was told nothing, beyond his hands were tied. I assume scout spoke with parents about topic of the meeting.

 

I think a parent should have been asked to attend the meeting.....But we do not know the topic of the meeting so we are speculating on whether it was appropriate or not.

 

Just curious, Why would you contact the SE? Was the scout who was the rumor monger spoken too?

 

Just wondering if this is getting blown way out of proportion

[KC9DDI]

Basement, I'm not sure I understand the phase in the process that you're asking about?

 

If we're talking about an initial response to a Scout announcing that he's bisexual - no, I don't think the SE needs to be involved. The bullying, etc, is something that should be handled, but should be easily handled at the local level (by the troop leadership or summer camp directors, for example).

 

But, if we're talking about the situation described in this thread (again, with the understanding that we may not be getting the whole story, etc etc...) - then yes, it looks like a call to the SE is in order, simply because there doesn't seem to be any other recourse. The course of events is clearly inappropriate - calling a Scout before a panel of 5 adult leaders to be interrogated regarding his sexuality, without notifying the Scout's parents in advance, and refusing to discuss the matter with the Scout's parents after the fact. At the very least, this is a violation of Youth Protection - at worst, it could be illegal, and psychological stressor for the youth. And, given that the key players in the unit - SM, CC, COR, and IH - don't seem to be in a position to take any corrective action themselves, then it seems like the only solution is to bring the matter up with the SE.

 

Again, EVEN if we suspect or stipulate that the Scout may have engaged in inappropriate behavior beyond just "thoughtcrime," or that the Scout's sexual orientation "calls his morality into question" -- the actions taken by the troop leadership were completely inappropriate.