tessnjohn1 Posted April 14, 2011 Author Share Posted April 14, 2011 I sincerely appreciate all of your help, everyone. I had to go to council to get all the materials I needed, but I have them now. I did not have contact info for the COR,CO, DE... any of the den leaders, scouts, or their parents. The CC had told me that I would not, in my position, need the roster... and if I should happen to need to contact someone as the CC, I would have to ask the CM for the contact info, and explain why I needed it. Buckeye Council helped me to realize that that was TOTALLY NOT the case! In short, I had been bullied into believing I had to go to the CM for everything. I have contacted our DE, and am scheduling a meeting with him, our COR, and parties involved to work out the Bear Den Leader situation. I hope, for the sake of the boys in our pack, that we can manage to smooth everything out. The only information I was given about my position was the online training I received. While it provides a LOT of information, it does not give me a list of materials I should have (roster, contact info for the COR, ect.) nor did it give me the knowledge of who CAN and CAN NOT eliminate leadership positions and how. I know I seemed like a very weak CC when I allowed to be done what was done. That was not my intent. I DID try to run the meeting. I DID try to stop the CM from making a public drama about our BDL in front of our scout parents. I DID try to set up our committee. When I tried to bring the meeting to order, the CM took over "first business" and talked over me with the BDL situation. When I tried to stop him, he ignored me, and raised his voice to drown me out. He told everyone that he had be to council on Thursday, and council gave him the authority to do what he was doing. (When I went to council yesterday, I was informed by the Director of Field Service that the CM and ACM had NOT been there last week, NOR have they ever given permission for the CM to do what he did.) So, I figured I would keep quiet and allow him to make a fool of himself. (I just knew something was wrong with what he was doing.) When I tried to set up our committee, the ACM (CM's wife) spoke over me, telling me and the parents that our pack was too small to have a committee... and we didn't need to have one set up so soon, because the year was "ending." YES, I allowed all of this to happen. I did so, because I was a little unsure about the CM's claim that he went to council and had permission... I also allowed this to happen because I did NOT want to seem like a Nazi. I know there is a gentle balance of power. I know that I have power, but I'm NOT about to let it go to my head. I DO realize that I allowed myself to be ran over by the CM and ACM, and I'm sorry that I let it happen. However, I was worried that if I put my foot down at the meeting, it may have drummed up more drama from the CM, or caused there to be more and BIGGER disruptions in the boy's scouting program. I'm not trying to be a dictator to the CM, or to boast my "rank" over him. I'm just trying to figure out how to handle an over zealous CM and ACM, and NOT hurt the boy's experience in this scouting program. I'm hoping my level head will prevail over this situation. I'm just SO overwhelmed by the hostile takeover. I'm surprised to find out that I don't have to go to the CM for contact info... that I should have had it in the first place. There are just so many things I have been lied to about, misinformed about by the CM or ACM, and things that are in my job description that I have not been privy to. I've tried to not be pushy about setting up the committee, but it is vital. I've tried to show them that we all want the same thing for the boys in this pack. I think the meeting with the DE and COR will straighten out what ever is left of this mess. I just hope that this will put an end to the lies, rude behavior, and high school drama. Thank you all SO much for your advice and support. It is VERY much appreciated. Blessings, Tess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beavah Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Yah, Tess, we're happy to be of help. Yeh say the CM's wife is both Assistant Cubmaster and Treasurer? Yikes. Again, I think it's pretty common for da founding CM to feel a lot of "ownership". That's a good thing, because without someone doin' that a new unit would never get going. What yeh have to do here is switch da feeling from ownership to co-ownership and partnership. Gently, firmly, and pleasantly. Of course, it's not a good sign that da CM wasn't very honest about some things. That steps over the line in my book. But if the fellow is a decent CM, I'd show him the loyalty and kindness of addressing those things personally and in private. Good luck with it, Tess. Remember, yeh deal with fires by patiently pouring on water, not by feedin' 'em fuel. Beavah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shortridge Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Best of luck!(This message has been edited by shortridge) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutNut Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Tess, here are some resources that might prove useful to you - http://www.scouting.org/scoutsource/CubScouts/AboutCubScouts/ThePack/pcomm.aspx http://www.scouting.org/filestore/pdf/510-240.pdf The following copy of the Cub Scout Leader Book is the 2007 printing, but most of the information is still good. About the only differences would be the changes to the Cub Scout program delivery in 2010, and possibly some Tiger info. http://www.scouting.org/filestore/hispanic/english/33221_WEB.pdf I would talk to your DE about including your Unit Commissioner, or District Commissioner, in your meeting with your COR. Good Luck ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pack212Scouter Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 Sounds like you have things well in hand. It's a good sign that a) you willing and able to learn; b) you are level headed; and c) you have the Council onboard with you. Your next step is to make sure that your COR is aware of how things should be run so that they can back you if/when needed. Good luck on all this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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