resistance from wife

[Oak Tree]

In general, I've seen that Scouts with dads who are ASMs tend to stick with the troop longer and are more likely to earn Eagle. But it varies a lot and there are certainly many kids of ASMs who drop out.

 

Give your son space, whether you register or not. As far as your son goes, you could join or not join, either way.

 

As far as your wife goes, you should not join. You need to have your wife's support. She probably knows better than you in this case anyway, but even if she didn't, I'd still recommend going with her recommendation. You want her goodwill. I'll repeat it (and not just because my wife sometimes reads this forum) - LISTEN TO YOUR WIFE.

[Eagle007]

I agree with OakTree. Listen to your wife. I listen to mine - most of the time; he, he. I may wear the pants in the family but she picks them out.

 

All joking aside, she may be asking for more time from you. Even if you've been married for 100 years, continue to grow and nurture that marriage. Your wife and son will thank you for it.

[Eagledad]

Im surprised that the responses are mostly either/or, but no compromises. I had the same serious chat with my wife, I am sure most of us with the passion have. But I worked it out with my wife. For her to allow me to be the SM, I got off the District Committee, I declined participating or leading in anymore adult training. I promised at least one week of vacation with the family every summer. I did not stay overnight with the scouts in lock-ins or overnight JLTs. I basically cut out any activities that didnt require the SM. I became a lean mean Scoutmaster machine and peace was had in our home.

 

Even with cutting all that fat, I still wore my uniform on average four days a week, and averaged 50 nights of camping a year.

 

However, I did get a lot of calls and made a lot of promises to the District and Council to volunteer again when I retired from the SM job. That was a mistake because I was burned out four years later. But if one is willing, you can have your cake and eat it too.

 

There was one either/or situation my wife would not compromise and that was the way toilet paper should unroll. Inny or outty?

 

Barry

 

[SR540Beaver]

outty

[SR540Beaver]

Maybe I was lucky, I'm not sure. My wife was constantly asking my son and I, "don't you guys have a campout this weekend"? She was always trying to get rid of us and have the house to herself.

 

I've known two scouters whose wives were jealous of the time they spent on scouting......and admittedly, it was a lot of time. One finally quit, but it was mainly because after going all the way thru Cubs and a year of Boy Scouts, his son said that scouting was cutting into his skateboarding. Seems he had grand plans of growing up to be a professional sponsored sk8er.

 

The other guy was single and was a scouting powerhouse in his unit, district and council. His girlfriend knew what she was getting herself into when they were dating, but the wedding ring made all the difference. She wanted him out, end of story. He is still registered I believe, but not around much.

 

I'm with Barry on the compromise thing. In a healthy relationship, there should be a way to come to a compromise. And I am actually lucky. Neither my wife or I have ever denied each other the pursuit of the things we were individually interested in.

[Scoutfish]

Aww...that's easy!

 

All you have to say is: " Resistance is futile! "

[Beavah]

Ohm my goodness!

 

 

[SMT224]

One thing rjscout... your wife may not fully understand how different Boy Scout & Cub Scouts are. Your son will be part of a Patrol, under the guidance of a Patrol Leader and Senior Patrol Leader. As an ASM, you will be present, but very removed from constant and direct interactions with your son.

 

I've had three sons now in the Troop as ASM and SM, and we all understand that I will ignore them in the same way was any other Scout in the Troop - that is, "Ask your Patrol Leader or the Senior Patrol Leader". Believe me, he will very much get his own time in the Troop with you working and contributing to the Troop from a distance.

 

It looks like we'll have 7 crossing over from our feeder Pack this year, and I am really looking to having a couple parents and trained leaders crossing over as well. As SM, I would be very disappointed and a bit taken a back if one decided not to become a leader because "he wanted to give his son his own time". All of the Adult Leaders and several of the Committee Members have sons in our Troop.

[oldisnewagain1]

Based on my experiences...

 

Let you son establish himself in the troop without you for a year.

 

Now I not saying to give up Scouting but maybe do something on a District level for a year then after that year come back to the troop as an ASM. This keeps you involved and (hopefully) won't be as hectic as CM.

 

Also consider this time tested saying

 

Happy Wife...Happy Life

 

 

[Engineer61]

I'd guess that your wife is holding up the yellow flag (or possibly red flag) that says "enough is enough, Scouting is our sons activity, not yours and not mine".

 

I'd heed that flag...

 

I kinds understand her drift...my wife is the "Scout Nut" in our house...10-20 hours (or more) a week, every week, year round.

 

I have my activities, band parent in the fall for 15 weeks and baseball coach for 12 weeks in the spring....but I don't do anything year round.(This message has been edited by Engineer61)