Parent strikes a volunteer

[Basementdweller]

Well, I didn't see it. but had a parent hit one of our den leaders, disagreement over the pinewood and the way it was run......Thankfully blows weren't traded, but it happened in front of the boys. I understand law enforcement has gotten involved....

 

I was in the kitchen and missed the whole thing.

 

 

Suggestions???? Ban the parent????

[OldGreyEagle]

So much depends on the context and what is meant by "hit", but if the police are involved, then banning the parent may be a moot point. I know it wasn't a Youth Protection Issue, but has Council been advised what happened so when the Media calls about the Dust Up at Pack XXX's Pinewood Derby they wont be taken off guard?

 

I have to say if a parent ever "hit" me, I might be going down with a glass jaw, but I shall arise with a new house (well to me anyway)

[jhankins]

If it happened at a pack event, and the police are involved, it's time to let the Scout Executive know. Let him make the call about banning the parent. I'd get your Charter Rep involved too (I don't remember if yours is active or not), if he's around.

[Lisabob]

Oh good lord. Been there, seen that. In our case, everyone involved either left or was removed, and quite a lot of other pack families also jumped ship. It nearly killed the pack. (In fact this is exactly how I became very involved as a scout leader. I was one of the few adult leaders left to pick up the pieces after the storm blew over.)

 

Was the volunteer at fault, too? Or just the parent?

 

 

Suggestion #1 - the parent who slugged your volunteer becomes uninvited. The boy can stay in the pack (though he likely won't), but the parent will need to find someone else to be responsible for the boy at den/pack functions. If our volunteer was equally at fault then the same should apply to them.

 

In our case, this meant that one parent/former DL spent a good bit of time sitting in their car because they just could not handle themselves. They drove the boy to events, sat in the hallway or in their car during the events, and drove the boy home.

 

Suggestion #2 - find out who your UC is, or if you don't have one, demand one today. Get your UC up to speed quickly and invite them to help you referee any upcoming meetings.

 

Suggestion #3 - find the most respected person/people in your leadership (CC? COR? ) and have them write an open letter to your pack's families in which you outline (generally - no lurid details) that there was a problem, that you are handling the problem, and that you value their continued participation & input as you move forward from the problem. Put it in your next pack newsletter.

 

Suggestion #4 - next year, either don't hold a PWD at all (we nearly didn't), or make sure everyone understands that the most important thing about the PWD is building cars together and having scout spirit. Make the biggest prize(s) you give out reflect that, rather than fastest car. Invite some outsiders (we had a local troop who were not affiliated with our pack at all help us with this - in fact, the SM and ASM were two guys I met at WB & knew I could trust to lend a hand in this delicate matter) to help you determine who gets the scout spirit award.

 

And of course, if there are flaws in your PWD timing/judging system, iron them out before next year!

 

 

[KC9DDI]

Perhaps if law enforcement is involved, the problem is already solved, and needs no further handling at the unit level? I'd definitely give a head's up to your DE, and they may elect to revoke the adult's membership, just to cross the i's and dot the t's, but maybe you'll be lucky enough where you want have anything else to worry about at the unit level.

 

It may be worth reviewing the whole situation, and see if there are any root causes that can be fixed or adjusted, though.

[Bingo]

What happened at your Pack is unfortunate and inexcusable. The best way to rein a good time for the kids is to get the parents involved. The last thing my son and I did as he was crossing over to Boy Scouts was to build a NEW Pinewood Derby Track for the pack he was leaving.

The design for the track was out of my head and the timer schematic and programing can be found at The Worlds least expensive Pinewood Derby Timer on Line.

I can only suspect the parent didn't like the finish. This may help the Pack ovoid another irate Parent.

[packsaddle]

Wow, I've never seen violence at any scouting event, at least not an assault (I've seen violence done to food items, LOL). Anyway, the closest I've ever seen was a couple of times when I disqualified cars at the district PWD. Basementdweller, I'm sorry this happened, especially in front of the boys. Sad.

[Basementdweller]

Well it was pre-race.

 

 

Something happened between a dad handling cars on the impound table after being told to stop.....how it blew up to hitting or slapping her I will never know. I am guessing she may have slapped his hand as he tried to pick up cars that did not belong to him.

 

The dad is very competitive to the point he stood at the tech table to watch the weigh ins and the cars get run thru the tech box. One of the parents said that he believed that this dad was bending axles while handling the cars......I don't know that for sure, but the accusation was made. I did not hear this till after the event and the boys were running their cars on the carpet. so no way to look for damage.

 

I have heard so many versions of what happen I wonder if it even happened. I spoke with the den leader involved and she resigned and quit pulled her scout completely. I stopped by her house last night, she won't answer my phone calls, emails, txts or her door. I never got her side of the story.

 

The parent gave me an earful and called me everything in the book......Funny, I wasn't even in the room. His version was she hit/slapped him first. It would be out of character for her.

 

It will be interesting to see how many boys show up at the next den meeting.

 

 

I have not heard from Law enforcement, so I don't know for sure......

 

It falls back to not enough leaders........had a male been at the table and told him to quit

 

Dad was told he was no longer welcome at Pack events, son, wife and sibs are dad is not.

 

 

 

Crap like this makes me ask why????

[packsaddle]

I may get the question wrong but I interpret your 'why' question to be: Why bother to keep trying to provide this program for the boys? Or something along those lines.

If I got the gist of it, my answer is: because if you let one jerk destroy that opportunity for the boys you just let that jerk take control. And you don't really want that. So you handle the jerk. And keep the program available for the boys. Because they're worth it.

[Eamonn]

It's a sad, sad, mad, mad world.

 

If the police are involved, I'd be happy for them to do whatever they feels needs to be done or not done.

If anyone involved wants to take it further and involve their own lawyers? That's their choice.

I'd most definitely want to inform the CO and the SE about what happened.

I'd also call a leaders meeting and explain to them how the media will be managed if the media does get involved. The SE can advise the best way about going about this.

Maybe now is a good time to take a long hard look at how the entire Pine Wood Derby is managed.

Are the rules clear?

Is who ever in charge of checking in the cars the right person for the job? Should there be more than one person at the check in?

A long hard honest look might help prevent future mishaps.

We had one District who got so fed up with all of the nonsense that they decided just not to have a District event anymore.

The really hard part will of course be trying to explain this all to the Cub Scouts.

I don't think I'd want to tackle this head on, but I'd look for subtle ways of getting the message across.

 

While of course I wasn't there.

Sometimes these type of occurrences have a way of getting blown out of all proportion.

Recently one of my coworkers was accused of "Assaulting an inmate". It turns out that the inmate went to pick up something that he really wasn't supposed to and she gave his a little slap on the back of the hand. Much as any mother might do without thinking.

She was of course in the wrong.

The inmate, being an inmate of course wanted to make as big a deal as possible of it all.

In the end bringing them both together and having both state their case brought the entire thing to an end.

Maybe if the two people involved in this episode got together and went over it all and maybe apologized? This would soon be water under the bridge.

Ea.

[Basementdweller]

I forgot to mention...

 

Despite asking for clean up help, the wife kids and I tore down the track, vacumned the floor and set the room backup by ourselves.

 

We asked for dessert donations from the parents and the only thing we had was the pinewood cake and gallon jugs of juice I had bought. of course everyone complained about that too. Not enough food and I should have planned better...... big sigh.

 

Remember my son crossed over last year......Might be time to resign and let them figure it out....

 

 

 

(This message has been edited by Basementdweller)

[SeattlePioneer]

>

 

 

I think that's the correct thing.

 

Personally, I'd invite the Den Leader back if she will come.

 

Sad.

 

 

 

 

 

There are some real leadership issues with that pack that need to be sorted out. Is there a Unit Commissioner or Pack Committee Chair who will start taking charge?

 

Does your troop rely on boys crossing over from the pack? If so, a smart Troop Committee Chair would find a person or two in the troop mto help set the pack on a firm leadership foundation BEFORE things fall apart.

 

 

[John-in-KC]

My thoughts:

 

1) IH and COR, in making the decision you described (Dad is gone), probably have lost this particular Cub and his family from the Pack? (If I was told I wasn't welcome, my kid would be gone...).

 

2) CC, IH and COR need to discuss the event in terms of the registered Scouter who was involved. Decision to make is to underwrite the Scouters's actions, or send him packing as well.

 

3) As others have stated, the Council needs to know... it's PR thing for them.

 

Otherwise, everything Lisa said!(This message has been edited by John-in-KC)

[acco40]

That law enforcement is involved and we, as citizens, wonder why crime is an issue?

 

For some, competitive events bring out the worst qualities - I've seen it in my kids sporting events for both girls and boys. I saw in with advancement in Scouts - parents who denigrated other Scouts who earned advancement before their son who was always more deserving.

 

I'm afraid as a society that spends more time on Facebook, Scouter.com, video games, etc. and less time truely socializing that events like this will be on the increase.

 

Just to throw gasoline on the fire - WB21C subject matter expertise would be much more helpful than Scoutcraft in situations like these! (This message has been edited by acco40)

[SR540Beaver]

heretic