"This is not a place for Woosies."

[Frank17]

I have witnessed the same thing. We have had a number of new members who post their question, and then spend the rest of the thread defending their opinion and not taking any other advice. I believe they are not posting to get other opinions; they are posting seeking validation of their own decisions. Whenever alternate positions / questions are posted, they state they are being "attacked".

 

I have no sympathy for these people. The internet is a rough place, and if you want to use it, you need to be prepared for some alternate viewpoints. If you want validation, go watch Oprah. I read this forum for over 2 years and joined as a poster for over 6 months before I posted my first question. That gave me time to know the personalities and who to listen to.

 

[OldGreyEagle]

Well, this is the internet and one would not want to fall victim to the Pierre Salinger Syndrome

 

Next, I have to say something that may sound like an attack to the new posters and I do not mean it was an attack, but I also think it may help their understanding of the dynamics of the group.

 

We have had Trolls in the site before, people who come in and ask questions and lead us in circles before they either reveal they are college students doing a paper on group dynamics or experimenting with the racist bigots that frequent scouting, or something equally unpalatable. As a result, some of us are leary of new comers who ask questtions and do not seem familiar with the program that their stated experience would indicate.

 

Being Scouters and scouts people are pretty much accepted at face value, but if the new one stumbles a bit on explanations and show confusion on scouting hierarchy, then intruder alerts go off and people "spider sense" starts to tingle. Some are better then others, some have no clue but experience has taught us that not all who come here looking for information are always who they state they are.

 

So, if you feel you have been mistreated and are an honest Scouter I apologize if anything I have done offends or insults you, My only defense is past history and while many struggle to escape their past, few succeed

[Eagledad]

>>It's rather unfortunate that not everyone on this forum is as informed and experienced as I am and maybe it would be a more welcoming place for the newbies if they were.

 

Now, if one cannot see the sarcasm dripping from these comments, then maybe one should not be on the forum.

[Hawkrod]

I guess that I am partly to blame for this discussion (if not mostly) so I will apologize for being frank but as you guys clearly note, "This is not a place for Woosies.". I can understand where you may have had issues and there are several valid points being made but I think it really is important to keep a perspective. This is supposed to be a resource for Scout related things and so the majority of new members will be trying their best to be good Scouts.

 

I would like to share my story (abbreviated) to give some perspective to this issue. I think I am an experienced Scouter, I have been the COR of two units off and on for a while, I have been a Bear and Webelos Leader as well as ASM and SM. I have been on the District Committee for 4 years as a trainer and activities chair. I am a UC but the DC never gave me any units besides my own (our District has been dysfunctional at times but what District hasn't?). I have taken and staffed Woodbadge, been to PTC and taken any training that was available even if it was outside of my current area of responsibility. I have District Award of Merit and Silver Beaver.

 

I don't do all of this for reasons that many would but I hope there are some who do it for the same reasons, I am here for my sons and the youth in my units. Both my oldest son and I have Aspergers Syndrome ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome ) and Scouting offers us a "safe" place to learn and grow while interacting with people who are willing to take the time to understand us. Yes, I am "weird", you can tell a joke and I won't get it and I will make a sarcastic comment that I really thought was funny and a dozen people will turn away. That is the nature of the disorder. If you have ever watched the TV show Bones you know who I am. I have sworn that my son will never have to go through the pain I suffered as a child. He and I work together to adapt to a world that does not have a good place for us.

 

Despite the negative expperiences in my life, I still assume that everybody I meet, means well, is honest and trustworthy, and sees things the same way I do. This is both a good and a bad thing. I take what people say and write literally and as the Gospel truth and am often hurt but also often right (isn't that just the law of averages at work?). It is a common misconception that people with Aspergers are emotionless but that is definitely not true, it is that we don't recognize emotion in others. It is a very big difference. We also tend to hold things in until the breaking point so very often what sets us off is not what we are actually mad or frustrated about, it is just the straw that exceeded our limit.

 

We are fortunate in that my son and I are quite gifted (he is currently 7th in his class at a school for the performing arts, report cards just came home, I am EXTREMELY proud of him) and sometimes we intimidate people by just being who we are. Our motivations and accomplishments often become a source of ridicule or question because we have a different perspective. For my son, earning merit badges is about learning and comfort zones. People with Aspergers tend to have very centralized focus and trying new things is not something we like to do but for my son, learning new skills is not a fear BECAUSE of the merit badge system. My son would never go out into the world and say "I want to learn how to rock climb" but he would say "I want to earn another merit badge, how about rock climbing?". For him, earning a merit badge is a comfort zone and not a new experience to be feared. This makes Scouting a great fit for our family.

 

We have a large group of amazing people we have met through Scouting but we have also found a rare few that have a different perspective and don't see issues as black and white as we do. For us bending the rules intentionally can't be tolerated. Even unintentionally has consequences for us and, as here, we often apolgize as we perceive an error on our part even when nobody else has recognized it. We are driven to "do the right thing" even when it may be considered absurd to others.

 

One of the truly worst experiences I have had as a Scouter was when I was pulled aside and told that my paperwork for the Scouter's training award had been submitted even though I had not completed the requirements and that I "owed" the person and they knew I would complete the requirements later. It took me less than 5 minutes to get to the DE. For me, at that moment, there had never been a greater crime. Most would say "what's the big deal?" and maybe it wasn't a big deal to others, but for me, it was extortion and fraud and made me physically ill. The worst part of the whole experience was that I had completed the requirements not only completely but except for tenure, multiple times. I share this because I want others to have a glimpse into why I say and do the things that I do. I can't tolerate innapropriate behavior and when I make a mistake, I tend to agonize over it for a very long time and I can't "forget about it".

 

I definitely have a tough time in this world and my wife is my anchor. Unfortunately I have a tendency to go overboard in everything I do and the bar gets set pretty high. I am not trying to excuse who I am but rather to explain it so maybe some of you will understand where I come from when you think I may have just simply lost it! Yes, what some of you see as questioning a comment can seem like a personal attack for people like me. My perspective is definitely skewed and I do make mistakes but for the most part I am right on the money even when I am way out in left field. It is a tough balancing act and like a pitbull I am not the brightest because I will keep coming back for more.

 

In closing, I will add that I have probably learned more operating details from reading this forum (I have read every post on dozens of pages) than I have in my Scouting tenure. I have taken the training and thought I understood my position as a COR. I knew a COR was a voting member but we have never been treated as such and when we do show up we tend to be "in the way" of the business at hand. From what I have read here I now have a better understanding and the original problem that brought me here has been better addressed. From what I learned here I was able to provide direction to others (including scared COR's) and wheels rolled forward. For that I am thankful and appreciate all that you guys did to help us. I can often be overpowering or tough to take and that is unfortunate as it has nothing to do with intent, it is just the nature of the beast. BTW, in case you did not know Bill Gates is considered the poster child for Aspergers. Didn't he just get a Silver Buffalo? LOL It's all good

 

Some insightful and helpful reading if you work with or want to know more about aspie's:

 

http://articles.cnn.com/2008-03-28/health/autism.essay_1_asperger-janitor-humor?_s=PM:HEALTH

 

http://www.yourlittleprofessor.com/benefits.html

 

http://www.aspergerresources.com/self-esteem.html

 

http://www.asperger-syndrome.me.uk/people.htm

 

Also a great resource with a discussion forum for aspie's and their support network:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/

[moosetracker]

Thanks Hawkrod,

 

To truth, I don't think I have seen you say anything that I thought was negative to the posters here.. I kindof wondered though once when I tried to help you out of a tight corner others had painted you into with there not understanding your post.. I thought I got you out quite nicely, then you went ahead and dived right back into that painted corner.

 

Yes you started out here with a problem that made you upset about someone else, that was already out of your unit and people hear just recommended that you let it go, and ignore it.. But that might be part of the symptoms also.. Other then that alot of people find this site, and post for the first time when they have some issue in scouting that is driving them nuts, and they need a sounding board. Myself included.. So for the most part starting here having a problem within your little world of scouting is a normal thing..

 

So I hope to see you around on the boards.

 

[Basementdweller]

isn't it spelled "Wussy"?

 

Scoutfish have you got your training yet. hehheheheh

[Venividi]

Hawkrod,

 

Thank you for the descripion of and links to ausbergers syndrome. I think that many of us can benefit from your candor.

As a Scoutmaster, I once had a scout that I suspected had the syndrome, though I was in no position to know for sure. It would have been helpful if his parents had been willing to provide suggestions on how to work with him.

[BadenP]

For all you overly concerned anal retentive contributors to this thread who noted the spelling error, yes the word was supposed to be spelled wussies not woosies but I caught it too late to edit the post. At least I gave those few of you an opportunity to contribute and complain all in one post, whadda bunch of wussies, lol.(This message has been edited by BadenP)

[moosetracker]

Personally I like the word "Woosies"..

 

This is what I pulled from an on-line urban dictionary.

 

woosie

the act of being useless, irrelevant or completely lame.

 

Hey!!! HEY!!! You all come right on back here.. Where are you all going!!

 

 

 

[Scoutfish]

I only said "woosies" because the original post asked about "woosies" . I mean,I wouldn't know since I am soooo way above using such derogatory phrases! O:)

 

Training? What kind? Camp promotions? Yeah, that was a joke. Training consisted of a job description. Not much too it. I talked about what a super fabulous camp we have to leaders at the RT and told them that I would be calling them in Feb to see how many scouts and leaders are planning oin camping, when and for how long.

 

[Eamonn]

"This is not a place for Woosies"

Can't help but think how much "Safer" and more kindly things are now, than they were a few years back.

Still, reading what you have written before hitting the submit tab is always a good idea.(Might even try it -One day!)

Ea.

[fuzzievohs]

Only my 2nd Post here, so please ignore and don't read any further.

 

This Thread ought to be mandatory as part of the registration system. "Thanks for visiting, enjoy your seat at the campfire, but you don't get to speak until you read this thread."

 

 

[acco40]

You learn fast!

[Alabama Scouter]

While I agree that an Internet forum is no place for wussies, this is a Scouter forum. The points of the scout oath and law should guide everything said here. There is another (unnamed) boy scout forum that between the three know-it-alls that when they aren't fighting with themselves, they gang up on the unsuspecting new guy. Don't be like that. Please.

I've been around a while, too: 3 rows of knots, WB and staffed, PTC, WFA, and on and on. I'm sure there are others with a low post count that are longer in the saddle than I.

If we're going to profess to lead boys to become men of character, we should demonstrate it here and everywhere else we are.

[sherminator505]

I can't argue with your sentiment. Most of the "newbies" that come to this forum are genuinely interested in getting their qiestion. Unfortunately, they sometimes do not like the answer that they get, regardless of how delicately or diplomatically it is put to them. So some of us tend to simply get to the point, and sometimes this comes across as abrupt and perhaps even a little rude. This is usually not intentional.

 

I confess that I am guilty of taking occasional body shots at a few of the regular posters who get up on their high horses from time to time (y'all know who you are).(This message has been edited by sherminator505)