You have got to be kidding: Overprotective Stories

[SSScout]

From today's Frederick News-Post:

""Frederick County Sheriff's Office increases patrol after incident at middle school bus stop""

 

"On Monday, Cpl. Jennifer Bailey, spokeswoman for the sheriff's office, said deputies are labeling as "suspicious activity" an incident that occurred about 7:30 a.m. Dec. 6, when a dark green SUV pulled up near a Windsor Knolls Middle School student as he stood alone at his bus stop near Hardrock Circle and Kemptown Church Road.

 

According to the child's mother, a woman passenger got out of the SUV, approached the boy and ordered him to get in the vehicle. The boy instead turned and ran back to his home, where he notified a family member about the incident."

 

http://www.fredericknewspost.com/sections/news/display.htm?StoryID=113684

 

Yeah, I think I can understand a parent wanting to his/her kid at the bus stop...

 

Course, now, that doesn't justify coming on a camp trip to twirl your son's spaghetti for him.

[Scoutfish]

In a funny ( strange) coincidence, we had a dark green SUV favor a residentail area about 3 blocks from an elementary school and was seen at the school too.

Parents called the sheriffs dept which also notified the sheriffs dept in the next county who happened to catch the guy at another elementary school parking lot.

 

He wasn'r a registered offender, so the most they could do is make him leave and lean heavy on him.

[Stosh]

We are developing a generation of young people that will eventually be phobic of going outdoors for fear of something terrible going to happen to them. This should make our jobs as SM a lot easier. All we are going to have to do is get the kid out the front door and sit him on the stairs and he's going to think it's a fantastic adventure. Make sure he has his sun block on and bug spray. Make sure he has a coat on if it's cold, and be sure to check the yard for any stray dogs, also check both sides of the house in the yard to make sure there aren't any child predators there too. And make sure you get permission in writing, with notarized signature, and of course the Tour Permit, too.... OMG!!

 

Maybe a wee bit of advice my mother once gave me might help here: "GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND BLOW THE STINK OFF, I'M SICK AND TIRED OF YOU JUST SITTING AROUND WATCHING TV!" (The caps were added to give the proper intensity she would have placed on the words.)

 

Stosh

[sailingpj]

You know, I have been riding a bike around the SF bay area for at least five years now. Done plenty of riding in the city too. For a while I rode my bike 7 miles each way to school. 14 miles a day, and half of was up hill. I even commuted to the 8th grade across the Golden Gate bridge on my bike. The only time I ever got hit by a car was when I was making a left turn. I had to cross a lane of traffic, looked, saw a break, signaled, and started crossing. The person driving the car behind me was distracted and didn't notice I was there until I heard her squealing behind me. I got a couple scrapes and had to buy a new wheel for my bike.

 

I attribute my lack of injuries to all the practice I have in falling. You see, when you fall a lot you tend to learn how to not hurt yourself. I have been falling off bikes, masts, booms, and anything else I could climb all my life. Without all that practice I might have gotten seriously hurt when that car hit me.

 

My point is that despite all that riding on some dangerous roads (anybody who has lived near the city knows how busy Geary street is, and there are a lot of bad drivers in Marin too) I only got hit once. I'm not one of those people who rides on the sidewalk either. My main complaint about the drivers are the ones who smoke weed with their windows open while passing me on a hill. That really makes the hill hard.

[moosetracker]

As stated before if there is a known predator, then be vigilant until the danger is taken care of, not for the rest of the kids life.

Scoutfish your story of the idiot neighbor would give me pause for a few months, like you are a little jittery driving after being in a car crash for a month or so, then all falls back into normal routine.. Mainly it would be more teaching my child to know better and not accept a ride if no seatbelt..

Reminds me of the day we read the front pamphlet of the scout book with our son on child abuse, or something from the scout program.. Anyway it had us address not going off with strangers or getting in their car.. That very afternoon, not more the 3 or 4 hours later, he drives up our driveway with a stranger. Our son gets out of the car, we didnt even get to say boo to the driver. We ask our son who he was. He drove up while they were playing, introduced himself as one of the kids uncles, though the boy he was the uncle to had never met him before, and they drove off with him So back to the pamphlet and a lot more drilling into our son about safety.. Next week, I mistakenly sent him to the bus stop a week before school was actually starting back from summer break.. Someone in the neighborhood saw him, and call the police to check it out.. So up comes the police, asks some questions.. Told him school bus wouldnt come today. Asks him to get into the police car, he will take him home.. My son stated that he would not get into the car because he was a stranger.. So my son walked home, the police car followed him. Policeman saw no one was home, so he wanted to call us.. Son would not let him into the house. He was handed the phone outside, so he could talk to us there. My son was a good laugh at the school when the policemen told them the story. My son learned though. I did not need to lock him in the house forever more for fear he would jump into other cars with strangers.

Scoutfish dont use idiot neighbor as an excuse why you son can never ride with your trusted friends, other people in the Scouting program to an event, or with your relatives until he turns 21.

Likewise with waiting for the bus with your child until the bus arrives due to other drivers . Yes there are idiots out there. Teach your children to not play in the busy roads, and to look both ways before crossing the street.. Then let them live their lives.. Yes there are dangers to living life.. Teach your children to evaluate and reduce the risk by thinking things through, then let your child live. I have heard stories of cars crashing through store fronts, into houses, and off cliffs onto the roofs of houses below. These days your child is no safer in the house from drivers then in the front yard, or they can sit in your car, and your car get hit, or you can stand on the corner with them, and they can hit you both. Freak accidents happen, there is always some danger, but unfortunately your children are no safer stuck in bubble wrap, as they would be without it.. It is just that at 21 when you take off the bubble wrap, they will not know how to take care of themselves.

 

[sailingpj]

Thanks moosetracker, you made my point better than I did.

[Beavah]

According to the child's mother, a woman passenger got out of the SUV, approached the boy and ordered him to get in the vehicle.

 

Yah, I wonder what da odds are that it was another overprotective mom who was "concerned" about a boy who was left alone out in the cold by some heartless, abusive parent, and thought she was doing the right thing?

 

B

[beardad]

WOW! I don't have anything to add, I just want to say we drove in the back of pick up trucks all the time as kids. never once did anything bad ever happen to me or anybody I know. We also used to ride our bikes with no helmets. crashed alot too, never had any problems. No wonder kids are so soft today. they must break easier or something.

[perdidochas]

Bicycle helmets are saving lives. According to the CDC WISQARS database, in 1981, the rate of death in bicycle accidents was .8 per 100,000 children age 0-14. In 2007, the rate of death in bicycle accidents was .15 per 100,000 children age 0-14. I don't consider bicycle helmets (or seatbelts) to be at the same level of nanny state paranoia as fear of the outdoors in general. It's just common sense.

[CalicoPenn]

"At summer camp, day 4, at 1 AM I get a text message to call a mom because she wants to make sure her son is alright."

 

My reply text would have been along the lines of:

 

"Your son was eaten by a bear 3 nights ago - we have't told you yet because we're still looking for the bear - we think we're getting closer because this afternoon we found one sneaker which we think is your sons - though to be honest, it coud be the sneaker of the boy that was eaten last week by a bear. Heck, we're not even sure if it's the same bear. Got to run, need to get back to sleep so we can resume the search tomorrow. We might find him on the canoe trip we're taking down the river that's 25 miles away from here".

 

[Beavah]

in 1981, the rate of death in bicycle accidents was .8 per 100,000 children age 0-14. In 2007, the rate of death in bicycle accidents was .15 per 100,000 children age 0-14.

 

Yah, I think there's merit to bicycle helmets, eh? Leastways for frequent road cyclists and mountain bikers and such.

 

But this statistic doesn't prove it, eh? Because what's really happened is that kids do a lot less biking these days than they did 30 years ago. As we're discussin' here, they're being driven everywhere when we used to walk or ride bikes. Or they're usin' skateboards or skates. We're even findin' 11-year-old scouts in some areas who don't know how to ride a bike.

 

Beavah

(This message has been edited by Beavah)

[drmbear]

My wife definitely isn't overprotective in the way that she won't kick th boy out of the house to go out and play, but she at least makes sure he dresses correctly. This week we've had morning temperatures in the 20's and high winds (I know, mild compared to some parts of the country), and she sends the boy out to the school bus dressed appropriately for the cold. She complains regularly about the irresponsible parents that send their kids out in this with no hat or gloves and a light jacket, seeing the kids turning blue and shivering uncontrollably at the bus stop, often while the parent sits in a car with the engine running. I sincerely believe that across this country there is an extreme deficiency in the area of parenting. How the heck are new parents supposed to learn to be a parent in the first place - we're getting into the early generations of parents that had both of their parents working outside the home, possibly not all that present in their parenting. Whatever the reason, just because you know how to make children doesn't necessarily mean you know what is required to be a parent. I think some of the biggest youth and young adult problems, crime, and more, is all due to lack of parenting.

 

For this particular topic, being overprotective is a way of compensating for lack of regular, ongoing, parenting, in my opinion. Kids need to know there are consequences for the things do, they need to take responsibility for themselves, and they need to trust and count on their parents and important adults to support them. I believe many parents train their kids that they can't be trusted from the very earliest years. For example, when a baby's only want to communicate to a parent that something is wrong is by crying, a common response by parents is to just let them cry, because they'll eventually stop crying on their own. My response is that the baby wanted to let you know something is wrong. Once they discover that asking for your help doesn't work, that they can't trust and count on you, then they stop crying. And "parents" think this is GREAT!!!! Is it any wonder that later, when possibly it really matters, that at a deep foundational level many kids have learned it does no good to talk to their parents about what is going on, with teen suicide, shootings at schools, drug and alcohol abuse, and more the result. ---Probably going far beyond this topic, so I'll stop here.....

[NOldFatGuy]

Due to budget cuts the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off temporarily...and busing for Venturer Daughter is not available, although Scout Son still gets to ride a bus (at least for this year) but walking to school for her is not an option...unless you think walking along 2 and 4 lane divided and undivided highways with no sidewalks, and drainage ditches on both sides acceptable (I don't think I'm overprotective, but I don't see this as very smart). On the other hand I'm all for the wearing of helmets when riding bikes, climbing / rappelling, knowing the proper handling of firearms, having a buddy when swimming.....come on people lets have an outbreak....of common sense, our bodies were designed to fix themselves, we have natural instincts for certain things....that tend to keep us walking the "safer" side of things, when we place little Johnny in his antibacterial, impact/water/insect/sexual predator/life experience proof hamster ball we are taking all the choices that make us who we are away from them. I love my children very much, and don't want anything bad to happen to them....but my Son didn't learn not to touch the burner on the stove from me telling him not to touch it....or from the state requiring that all household cooking activities take place within a secured room with over 21 access only....he learned when he burned his finger....hasn't touched the burner since. Life is meant to be lived.....after that I guess it's up to Darwin.

[moosetracker]

drmbear - Now you gone and done it.. Bubble wrap is no longer good enough. The overprotective parent now needs to go to a straight jacket for their child 24 hours a day in order to protect them from themselves.... On second thought.... Hey! This might be a marketing ploy.. Any one want to go into buisness with me selling straight jackets in different colors other then dreary white? We should make a bundle.

 

NOldFatGuy - I think our son's old HS is now doing this.. HS students no longer get the bus because they should have their own cars.. Problem is they don't allow students to drive their cars to school until Junior/Senior year due to not having enough parking. Now forget the Junior/Senior who can't afford to buy a car yet (yeah I know I'm old fashioned & make them pay for it, parents now just buy them the car).. But it does leave a gap of those who are freshman/Sophmore.. No bus, No car... and sometimes walking isn't fesable. Hmmm... I guess making them hitchhike is not cool, even I am not that open minded to letting them experience life in this relm. But if they can walk - have them walk, if they can bike - have them bike, if you know and trust your neighbors set up a carpool.

 

If this had occured while our son was in school, it still would have been driving him within a safe walking distance and having him walk the rest of the way. But it would have been a problem.. I could have gotten him to school (with a small wait for school start), but my work hours would not allow me or my husband to pick him up (who works from 8:00 to 2:00??) He would have had a long wait at school for a pickup if I could not have worked something out with others in the neighborhood.

[Kamelian]

BEAVAH - hey, try these on... Both are examples of what we had on our troop.

 

An adult male, formerly with the troop, refused to allow his highly intelligent 15-yr-old son to go without him on campouts with the unit, because allegedly the boy has "anxiety problems", was "afraid of the dark", and "might cry" at night if he's there without dear old Dad, but the only time the boy ever appeared to be "anxious" was when his dad was around. The one or two times he went camping without his dad, he had fun with the guys, then crawled into his tent, conked right out and slept like a rock.

 

Adult male & female, parents of a boy formerly with the troop, habitually stood 10 feet away from the boy while he was SPL, to make sure the boy told the other troop members exactly what dear old Dad expected him to say. Every time the boy opened his mouth and made a statement, whether it was about telling the others to be sure and pack rain gear for the weekend activity, or whether it was about when the next outdoor event would be held, he'd stop and look over at his dad for approval before going on to his next thought. When dear old Dad wasn't around, the kid was practically catatonic & sat in a chair refusing to get up and participate, or was so incapable of thinking for himself & doing anything without his dad that someone virtually had to hold his hand and tell him what to do and how to do the activity.