No Moms Allowed!

[Anonymous]

Let me preface this by saying that I don't personally mind female Scouters, as long as they understand what the Scouting method is.

 

The Troop that my boy [and I] transferred to has an unofficial policy that no females will be present on any overnight activity. This is because the boys want it that way. Nobody talks about it, but that is the way it is.

 

One of the old timer ASM's told me that the boys decided very early on that while they couldn't prevent a mother from going on an overnighter - that no one could force any Scout to attend any activity. I guess that a few years ago a new Scout's mother decided to attend a Camporee with her boy, and once word got out, all the other Scouts had to cancel for a variety of reasons. From what I can tell, no female in any capacity has ever tried since.

 

Is it right? - Probably not.

 

Is it politically correct? - No.

 

Is it what the Scouts want? - Yes.

 

I encountered this in the last Troop my boy and I were associated with, and now here again. In the previous situation the boys got bulldozed and voted with their feet. Here, the scenario repeats its self. I asked my son about it and he replied, Its just a lot more fun when there aren't any women there.. Why? I think we can just relax and, like..., be ourselves..

 

I know that this won't sit well with a lot of people on this board, but if you asked 10,000 adolescent boys whether they wanted to go camping with male chaperones or female chaperones, what do you think the majority answer would be?

 

Just my $0.02, for what it's worth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Eagle92]

The challenge with moms, or dad who do not understand the program for that matter, is that they DO interfere and cause problems. In the example I gave as to why my troop's PLC said no moms, was that a trip that we planned a year in advance for WAS essentially canceled was that we did have moms with us as well as younger siblings. The scouts knew to pack for the weather, and were prepared for it. But since the siblings were not prepared for rain, it "wasn't fair" to let the Scout hike while little brother couldn't. Or "my son might get sick from the weather." So a hike that the Scouts wanted to do, talked about doing for a year, planned it at the planning conference, prepared for the month before hand, and rode 7 hours one way to do, was not doen because moms didn't want their sons to do it for whatever reason.

 

 

Like I said, mom's aren't the only ones. Dads can be pains too. Heck I had one dad tell me that he picked the troop that he did because it was "more organized" with adults in charge than the others he visited which looked like the inmates were controlling the asylum. saw him a few weeks later at camporee follwoign his son around from event to event.

 

I also concur with former CS leaders being a problem at times. I always noticed it took them 6-12 months after joining a troop to get it, and now that I am a CS leader I can see why. CS leaders got through at least 3 different specific leader training courses where it is reinforced that they need to do the planning, organizing, etc. Yoda said it best in reference to CS leaders: "You must unlearn what you have learned."

[Mr. Boyce]

Anyone who suggests that boys might just like being on their own without the female of the species will surely get mowed down!

 

A couple of years ago there was a very informative bit in the newspaper from the admissions counselor of an elite all-girls high school, and she made very well the case for the value of a gender-specific institution. I could see her point and appreciate the value of what they were doing.

[SMT224]

There is a real difference between a trained female or male Assistant Scoutmaster & a "mommy" or "daddy" who feels compelled to intervene and take care of their child (like they did in Cubs or on family camping trips).

 

We have trained all our ASM to treat all Scouts on any Troop activity the same - no favoritism or parental intervention in any shape or form. The standard answer to a request for help is the same no matter the gender of the leader - "Go ask your PL or the SPL."

 

On camping trips or at summer camp, adults stay as far away as possible from the Scouts and let them do all their own set up, fire making, wood gathering, cooking, camp activities and break down. And mistakes do get made, food gets burnt, and the Scouts learn without a parent hovering nearby.

 

I have never had a problem with a female ASM, who seem delighted to have a break from her needy kid. However, I have had to speak to several fathers about doing too much for their own kids - especially helping pack up or giving them special treats on camping trips. One father is no longer welcome on activities as he cannot help himself and flies to his son's side at a moments notice.

 

Like others have said, we strongly advise adult leaders not to work with their own kids on advancement and skill building. This seems to work quite well, and no Scouts have ever said they do not want women on camping trips. Perhaps other Troops with a "no mom" rule have so many adult leaders that they can pick & choose as to who goes on a camping trip. But we do not always have that luxury - there are many times we just need adults, regardless of gender, or there will not be a camping trip.

 

 

[Greaves]

Anonymous, you said "The Troop that my boy [and I] transferred to has an unofficial policy that no females will be present on any overnight activity. This is because the boys want it that way. Nobody talks about it, but that is the way it is."

 

Since this is an unofficial policy, are prospective families aware of this policy before joining?

 

I think it would be more honest for the PLC to make an official policy. When it's a decision that the boys make for themselves, and then communicate honestly, I think it would be a lot easier for new parents to support.

[Eagle92]

Greaves,

I cannot answer for Anon above, but in my troop, we let the SM and CC deal with the adults. We told him, the ASMs, and the CC present at our annual planning conference that we only wanted registered adults who would not interfere on campouts, and they handled it.

 

Only exception to that rule was the Webelos Overniter we would do, and maybe summer camp when we didn't have enough adults to drive and/or take off the week.

 

Remember funny story about summer camp. I'm 20 years old and I am the "summer camp SM" for the b/c Iam the only registered adult there the entire time. CC stayed 2 days, and we had parents rotating in. But since they didn't know too much about what was going on, they just let me "in charge". SPL, and ASPL had a great camp that week.(This message has been edited by Eagle92)

[IM_Kathy]

well, my son's troop upcoming campout we actually ran into an interesting situation... the only adults who had signed up at first were women - I commented about this and got a male to sign up. But without any of the ladies this campout would need to be cancelled because we have to have at least 2 (though 3 for the number of boys going)

 

I know with venture cres you must have a male adult and a female adult if there are both sexes in attendence... so I'm sure the same would be true with Boy Scouts.