No Moms Allowed!

[Greaves]

I have a friend whose son just crossed over to a Boy Scout Troop, where the Scoutmaster's welcoming email included that "no mothers are allowed." I had suggested to her previously that she ask the SM for a shakedown cruise kind of campout, where the new parents can see how things go, and then feel more comfortable leaving the new Scout with them.

 

Now, I told my friend to ask *him* what he meant, not me. I can be open-minded enough to think he meant "if any women come along, they are coming as Scouters, not mothers."

 

As mothers, my friend and I discussed this--including the kindest possible interpretation above. I mentioned that official national policy permits parents to attend. (that's correct, isn't it?) Can a Troop set guidelines that forbid mothers from accompanying the troop? Well, I guess they can. LDS units don't let women into the Troop atall, right?

 

How typical is this policy?

[Bando]

If I'm not mistaken, National policy indicates that a parent is welcome to observe any Scout activity. Nothing is secret or off-limits. Now, that doesn't mean they're participating if they're not a registered leader, or that they're supposed to (or encouraged to) "hover," but it is not correct to say that "mothers are not allowed."

 

I'd like to see the context of that sentence in the welcome email, but as presented, it comes off as odd.

[Lisabob]

I don't know how typical it actually is, but I can say without question that none of the troops in my area do this. Reality is that far fewer women than men do camp regularly with the troops I know, but that's certainly not a policy and it isn't that they are intentionally excluded.

 

Supposing for a moment that the kindly SM in question really meant "you can come with us as scouters but not 'moms' " then I would have to point out to him that 'dads' can be just as obnoxious as 'moms' when it comes to over-the-top helicopter parenting (as any of us who have been involved with scouting have seen) and he might want to re-think his assumptions.

[SSScout]

If the mom in question wants to go as a Scouter, she should step up, volunteer as a ASM, take the training and see what happens. If , indeed, the SM meant "no females allowed", that action would flush the question out. Speak to the Charter Org Rep or CO Head, local DE, the Friendly Neighborhood Commissioner, and go for it.

[Stosh]

I'm with LisaBob on this one. There's a rule in my troop that no moms are allowed. This means that any adult that attempts to help out in the hovering parent mode is asked to go sit in the corner until the urge passes. This is not limited to only women, but guys too that can't behave at a campout and allow the boys to run their own show.

 

The term as we use it may be politically incorrect, but one can be assured that it is not just the female of the species that gets singled out. Defined for us Mom is anyone who feels it necessary to coddle, pamper, pickup after, etc. (mom traits) that run contrary to the program we are promoting.

 

Stosh

[ScoutNut]

I can't tell you how prevalent this attitude is, but I can tell you that it exists.

 

My son's SM made it VERY clear that women could help in the kitchen, but that was about it. They did have a female CC, but the SM pretty much ran everything leaving her more in the roll of a secretary. Females were not allowed to work with the boys in any capacity. They could drive to campouts, but they could not stay. They would have to drive back home and then drive back out again for pick up. It was a very closed "old boys club".

 

Needless to say this cost them volunteers, and also boys.

 

 

[Jeffrey H]

In our Troop, Mothers are allowed to go on campouts. However, we do require that parents that want to go on campouts be registered as committee members and have taken YPT. We never have any problems with this.

 

[Eagledad]

Likely just the Scoutmaster's way of saying that "parents" will not be hovering around their sons. Actually, I probably would have said something like it had I thought of it because it makes the point rather quickly. I don't think you should take this as a gender specific thing. Sometime in the future you might quietly suggest he use "parent" in place of "mom".

 

Barry

[Gunny2862]

No helicopter parent/guardian yes. Not, no moms.

 

I think my ASM who is a Mom is great. And she'll specifically deal Mom/Son issues either before or after an outing - almost never is she in Mom mode on an outing.

 

And I try not to be in Dad mode when I should be in SM mode also.

[bacchus]

"As mothers, my friend and I discussed this--including the kindest possible interpretation above. I mentioned that official national policy permits parents to attend. (that's correct, isn't it?) Can a Troop set guidelines that forbid mothers from accompanying the troop? Well, I guess they can. LDS units don't let women into the Troop atall, right?"

 

I know this is just a side-bar to your real question but thought I would answer it. LDS units can have women serving in scouter capacities, they just do not camp with the Troop. A mother should be encouraged to participate as much as possible though, for many reasons. We have a number of mothers participating in various scouting positions in my ward.

[BrentAllen]

One of my WB patrol mates was from a very conservative church, and the church (the CO) wouldn't allow women to go camping with the Troop. This wasn't a matter of the CO allowing it, the CO mandated it.

[packsaddle]

If they want to go camping we let them. Of course the invitation to join the leadership is always thrust upon them as well. But most of the time, after a few 'sweeties' and 'honeys' from the mom to the boys, the boys (including son) seem to keep a safe distance. I get a good laugh from this kind of thing and the moms, they just can't help themselves.

[scoutmaster52]

There has been many years that with out the help of "moms" the troop would not have survived. That being said I ask all parents to leave mom and dad at home and come as Mr. or Mrs. I try to explain to them what is expected of them and the Scouts. This is so that the boys dont get labeled and learn on their own.

[Pack212Scouter]

I know that our troop has a limited female policy. Women can serve as MB counselors, and on the Committee and in supporting roles, but not as ASMs. Females are also not permited on trips with the exception of the two family camping trips per year. This is by directive of our CO and not the Troop itself. For middle and high school ages, all programs in our CO ae same sex.

 

This said, while there is something to be said about the boys learning to deal with females in leadership positions, the reality is that in the rest of many of their lives this is a reality. In schools, and anything else they deal with it. I have heard many times from the youth themselves that they love the camping trips because there are no women there and they can just be boys.

[gsdad]

It's not just Boy Scouts. My wife has to tell the parents of her GS troop the same thing. She welcomes the help of more adult leaders, but it seems many of the moms can't let their daughters do things like cooking, making a fire, setting up camp etc....for themselves.