Suspected embezzlement: What to do?

[faithhopelovep91]

I'm getting a lot off my chest here. If you don't like novels, skip to the next post. =D

 

 

I'm currently in my 4th year of Cub Scouting, all with the same Pack. During my 3 years as a DL, I was often frustrated by lack of help from parents. I spent most of those years as Tiger, Wolf, and Bear DL (all 3), while the CM was Webelos DL. I also grew weary of almost begging the CM to allow me to run the dens according to the handbooks. The joke between my husband and I is that when the previous CM was in charge all we did was eat and play bingo....perhaps because that was the only way to get the parents to show up, but that doesn't really help much.

 

Anyway, by default I became CM this year, as the CM replaced the SM at our CO, and our Pack had NO other leaders other than my husband who helped me. I thought it odd when the DE congratulated me loudly at MAY '09 roundtable "so, you're going to be the new CM huh?!". I had NO idea, but played along to save the CM embarrassment, assuming he'd forgotten to tell me. I DID know the SM was leaving, but the CM and CC never mentioned any change in the Pack. I now believe that he didn't want to tell me, and wanted to play both roles, since Sept-Dec was basically a tug-of-war between him and myself over the CM position. I found out the CC's name had been put on as CM though I KNOW the elderly, handicapped lady had no intention of taking on new responsibilities. The new recruits and their families thought he was "in charge" since he had his Troop meet same time/place/room as the Pack always did, lead opening ceremony every week, and generally commanded the room until he told them to "go with Mrs. ____ (me)". After a couple weeks the SM and I had it out on the phone. He told me everything from the Pack can't do any activity that costs money, to the CM ANSWERS TO SM!! I got in trouble from SM and CC for charging a minimal fee ($5 maybe) on a local campout. Apparently it's written in invisible stone that we never charge for local campouts. However, I had NO-ZERO money to work with, not even dues. SM was COLLECTING AND RATIONING PACK DUES. This all led to a meeting between myself (CM), CC, and SM.....so I thought. I brought along my right-hand DL, the ONLY parent besides my husband and I who was helping, and her husband. Rightfully so, as I showed up and the CC's husband was there, along with SM, and two other parents, one of whom was brand new and had been to training, the other may be trained, had been there a couple years, never lifted a finger, but was now a committee member. Our pack NEVER had a active committee other than other CC who's only job was to handle ALL THINGS MONEY. I couldn't understand why I wasn't told who else was coming to the meeting OR TO BRING MY TWO DL'S, even though the inactive mom, and freshly trained dad was invited! I'd never met the COR until recently quite by accident. Thankfully, I found out I had an ally in the CC's husband, a kind, elderly gentleman. He said Troop and Pack need to be separate and kept repeating "YOU ARE CUBMASTER". He is a committee member now. Oh, and I had to INSIST that the SM be removed as a committee member from the Pack. I didn't think he could even be BOTH.

 

SM continued to meet in the same room as Pack, call and email Pack parents, and told me to include him in all emails I sent out (I didn't), wouldn't give much advice except to tell me when I did something "wrong". OH, and he was still COLLECTING AND RATIONING PACK DUES!! I had to fight tooth and nail to have our first ever REAL popcorn kickoff - myself, husband, and right-hand-DL. The DE appointed popcorn chair did NOTHING but come to the district meeting and donate a few items for adult prizes. I was RIPPED a new one for spending $40 on the kickoff. This was because they had given me that money for my campout food. But, if I had asked for kickoff money they claimed they would have given it. BUT IT ALL CAME FROM THE SAME PLACE. DE told me I didn't do anything wrong. Things went on this way until Christmas break when the CC's husband, came to my aid again and told his wife (CC & friends with SM) to make the SM (old CM) moved the Troop down the hall, and they (SM and CC) started giving me the Pack dues with receipts.

 

I've never really had much interaction with Pack parents as most never stayed for the meeting, but I would hear about things said, and received nasty looks and comments which I ignored, mostly because I was running like a chicken with her head cut off, running 2-3 dens at once. My husband (who is black) said their behavior may be because I'm white and all of the pack except the CC is black. I should add we're in Mississippi. I was never sure but figured that was better than them having a legitimate reason for being upset with me. During the surprise meeting the SM tried to throw mud on me by saying that I don't get along with the parents, referencing only one incident from 2+ yrs previously where a mom had disrupted a campout by camping in her SUV with her son, and watching movies, leaving me, THE ONLY ACTIVE PARENT other than the CM (now SM), to shoo them away and explain why the one scout could watch movies but they couldn't -- they weren't even allowed to bring electronics! I asked the CM several times "are they really going to stay in their car...and you're allowing that". Somehow it got back to her that I "talked about her", and it got back to me that she was MAD. Years later, at the surprise meeting, SM threw mud by saying I made her so mad "she wanted to beat you up". NO ONE IN THE WHOLE MEETING SAID ANYTHING ABOUT THAT BEING EXTREMELY INAPPROPRIATE, both for the mom to say and the SM to repeat - he's old enough to be my father.

 

I never felt like things have been right - something's funny. When CM-now SM moved up to the Troops, the PACK bank account became a SHARED account. I have not been able to get anyone to tell me how much money is in the account or how much belongs to the Pack. The ONLY thing I've needed money for since popcorn is Camporee last week. CC only told me that we "should have enough". We brought in $2,100 (our cut of sales), and supposedly get $250 every year from Walmart. There also is money from a car accident last year which my ins paid $600 to fix the Pack trailer - it was never fixed. CO gave us $400 for new trailer tires - as far as I know, a year later, not replaced. Anyway, Camporee and Re-charter are the only costs that have come from the account this year. Camporee cost $209 exactly, and Recharter was $440. Food for Camporee was supposed to be roughly $200, which brings me to my latest odd occurrence.

 

Since January things have been a bit better, except for our annual dramatic decline in attendance due to sports etc. Most started coming back in time for Camporee this past weekend, for which we had 100% Pack participation, and our BEST parent participation EVER in my 3.5 yrs with the Pack. I even had the non-active committee member mom who showed up to the surprise meeting actually take COMPLETE control of the camp food. In a Camporee meeting with several now-more-active parents, CC, and myself, I was nicely prodded to delegate more responsibility. It's a running joke that I can't delegate....but that's rather difficult when exactly NO parents come to meetings. I digress... The Committee Member mom had already met with me and another mom at my home to plan the menu. My exact words at the group meeting, for all to hear were "alright, it's all yours. i won't give another thought to the food, EXCEPT TO SHOW UP AND EAT IT". Everyone was happy! She was told by myself and CC to pick another parent to assist her, and they would have no other responsibilities at camp. She showed up at the Pack campsite with plenty of food, drinks, plates, etc. Then, disappeared for so long I asked if anyone knew where she was. It turned out, though the pack had paid her reg for Camp, and she was quite explicitly to be in charge of the "kitchen", she was camping with the Troop, and her son, a Webelos. ----This brings me to another topic for a moment. I found out via parents that 2/3 Webelos were camping with the Troop. My husband, Webelos DL, and myself CM were never asked or informed until the day before.---- Anyway, the short of it is she ditched us, stayed with the Troop 99% of the time, going around with them to their activities. My saving grace was my right-hand-DL decided to come on the campout at the last minute, I ran into her in a store on my way out of town. She had taken several weeks off due to illness, but agreed to come with her family - her son is a Scout, and nephew is a Webelos for whom she was responsible, so they all camped with the Troop. The committee member mom showed up at our camp very late to start breakfast, basically did nothing, then disappeared. We missed assembly. My right-hand-DL, and the original chef assistant (relative of Committee mom who was ticked at her) handled that kitchen, kept us all fed and happy. Things didn't go as planned (drank fruit loops out of a cup), but we all had a blast anyway. Due to the chef assistant having a Steele Disease, and my husband's Sickle Cell disease, the cold temps the first night were unbearable - excruciating pain! We all decided to head home after activities. Steele Disease mom (assistant chef) decided without telling me to leave several hours later, with the only other in-camp parent in caravan, leaving only my husband and I with our 3, and 4 other boys with no parents), so we all packed up after lunch. Well, this nearly causes WWIII as committee mom tries to start a fight - never said a thing to my face, but through others said I should leave behind one of the cubs because he rode with her. I was not okay with this because I didn't want to get in trouble. We had already called his mom and she was fine. I was taking this boy and two others home (the 4th had parents on the way and after what was said we waited the 30 mins til they got there). During this time I found out the dad who, with his Webelos, rode to camp with my family....but had decided to camp with the Troop, was livid with me because he didn't understand that he was not abandoned, but would take another available seat in our massive carpool. ::sigh:: As my right-hand-DL found out later he wanted to get home before Sunday when cigarette and liquor stores would be closed!!! He had a parent bring him black and milds at the campsite and the SM heard him 'order'. I managed to leave camp and get all the Cubs delivered safely to parents, but was promptly called by the Grandma who brings the Cub committee mom wanted to keep, to meetings to ask why I brought him home since he rode with 'committee mom'. I explained that the whole Pack came home, and I was responsible for them. During the group meeting prior to camp when I gave committee mom kitchen duty, CC and I also agreed that she was "surrogate mom" to this cub and one other who had no parent attending. BUT, this was when we thought she was actually camping with us. Remember, she had basically NO contact with the Pack for the 24 hrs we were there, and did NOT cook as was her responsibility. I heard from my right-hand-DL, still with the Troop, that she was telling people that CC had already ASKED HER to be CM, and when she's CM she'll do it better than me. This woman has never even been DL! I will add I told CC several months ago that I may be moving in the near future, but nothing has been said to me about finding a replacement, and it the move was never a sure thing. SM was talking about how "we paid for the whole weekend and she took them home early"...when he brought us home early last year because of rain. I guess rain is more serious than Sickle Cell or Steele Disease! At last year's Camporee I was the only parent doing ANYTHING with the kids, taking them around to activities. I basically TOLD a dad to go with Webelos who were in a different group. Anyway, back to this year. SM also told the Troop that the parents of the kids I took home were going to call and curse me out....again, is this sort of thing acceptable to repeat this to the group??

 

Another note, parents still think for some reason that they should go to CC or SM with concerns that should be brought to me. I had one mom cancel all 4 paid family members, then go visit CC at her business to discuss her boys going without parents. The lady doesn't have a car, and talks to me all the time....why would she tell me they're not going, then go to CC a couple hours later. I wouldn't have known to put them on the camp roster if I hadn't happen to call CC!

 

Lastly, my right-hand-DL now tells me the SM called and told her husband to tell her to be sure to come to tomorrow night's meeting, and to tell her two family members in the Troop and Pack to be sure to be there. We don't know if he made a mistake in inviting the Pack parent. She and my husband seem to think an ambush lies in store for me tomorrow. My husband will have a video camera ready just in case - for evidence to show DE....though he has basically abandoned me already (told me to do a bunch of things including tell CC to make a separate bank account, then when I reported back to him, he said there's nothing he can really do; they were only suggestions....made me look like an idiot). We'll just pretend that we're taping our planned certificate/patch ceremony for Camporee campers and adults.

 

From the beginning of this year, we have suspected that money is being stolen due to CC and SM's keeping dues from me, and the fact that no one but CC seems to know what's going on in bank account. The facts:

 

-CC claims there is a reason the CO won't allow us to have separate accounts for the troop/pack....but remember, this is a new thing this year. The old SM had a separate account. She repeatedly would not tell me what the reason is.

 

-Names on bank account according to CC: CC, CC's son, several past CM's who allegedly aren't in town any more. CC claims SM (old CM) is no longer on the account. I think the COR is on there too. I believe it takes two signatures on a check.

 

-CC will never tell me how much money is in there. She did tell me that there should be just enough for awards left in account after re-charter and Camporee. By my calculations, there is approx $1300 left that is not earmarked for trailer repairs/tires. Are the awards for 12 boys going to cost that much???

 

My husband thinks I can request an audit from Council. Does anyone know if that's true? I've driven my husband nuts saying I'm going to quit, and then I just can't bring myself to desert the boys. I'm a home school mom of 6, with 3 of my own Cubs, and one Scout...all I want to do is run a good program for the boys. My husband doesn't understand why I stay around and take the abuse, but he sticks with me as Webelos DL faithfully. I just really wish this insanity would end and the pack could be peaceful. I'm going to go tomorrow, pretending like nothing happened, and I know absolutely nothing, deliver my awards, and den activities planned --- I still plan everything for my DL's w/ help from my right-hand-DL who should be assist CM, but CC and SM don't like her. CC's husband says she's rightfully ACM. I'm just happy to have a whopping 4 of them there to help me now!! We'll see what happens tomorrow night...... In the meantime, any words of wisdom for me? Anyone been in a similar situation???

 

Anyone who reads this, please say a prayer for our pack. Ask God to shine a light on the truth. Let everything be known and in the open. Thank you!!

[jhankins]

Council has nothing to do with the pack accounts. You'd have to go to the CO, and it sounds like they don't really care?

 

If there's nothing traceable, nothing can really be done.

[evmori]

Close your Pack account and move it to another bank. Contact your DE and explain what has been going on. The Pack NEVER, I repeat NEVER reports to ANY Troop. They are separate entities even within the same CO.

[kbandit]

Life is too short for that much turmoil. If it was me I'd be looking for another pack and troop. Sounds like too my stress for me.

 

Have you taken any training? If not get on that.

 

Goto Roundtable in you district. Network with other leaders, find a mentor.

 

The whole pack/troop checkbook thing is nothing but wrong.

 

Goodluck sounds like you need alot of it.

[Eagle92]

As a former pro with a unit in a similar situation, not quite the same but similar, I can tell you that the council will not get involved as it is a "local unit problem." They can give you advice, help you go to your IH and/or COR to deal with the problem, but they cannot get involved.

 

Several things worry me. #1 the fact that the pack and troop have joint accounts. That shouldn't be, even with units that have the same leadership, b/c they are two separate entities doing two separate things.

 

#2 I NEVER (caps 4 emphasis) like the fact that 2 family members are on unit's checking account. Problems appear to easily.

 

I personally would look for another unit. A pack is not a one man show as it appears to be.

[Lisabob]

I would move to a different unit, too. This is nothing but trouble.

 

However, before I moved, I would write a detailed letter to the CO, explaining what has occurred. I would also openly send that letter to every parent in the pack and troop. And I would cc the district executive and council executive. And I would request that the CO consider whether or not there are legal issues involved, after carefully explaining (in writing, to the CO) that THEY actually own the funds in question.

 

Then, I would dump the issue and move on - the legal matters, if any, are the CO's responsibility, not yours. If the CO is fine with potential fraud and embezzlement, the only practical recourse available to you, personally, is really to get the heck out.

 

 

[jeff-o]

Get out now. And yes, if you haven't been, get training yourself and join up with another unit.

[Twocubdad]

Your husband is right. Quit.

[Beavah]

Yah, way too much adult angst and history there.

 

Yeh have to give up the he-said, she-said stuff. As a Cubmaster, poor parent behavior is just a part of life. Yeh have to let it roll of your back like water off a duck.

 

I'm with the others, eh? If it's causin' yeh this much grief, you're not goin' to be a good cubmaster. Time to hand over your patch and write the letter.

 

If yeh *really* think embezzlement or misuse of funds is goin' on (including funds donated for the cub pack that are bein' used for the troop contrary to the intent of the donors), you notify the IH and yeh let him know that if he doesn't address it you'll notify the IRS and the county prosecutor to do an investigation. Troop and pack should each have a treasurer not related to the SM or CC who has primary care of the books.

 

Beavah

 

[Greaves]

I am sorry this is happening.

 

When I saw the length of your post, I said, "Wow, if it takes that many words, it must be bad." I was right.

 

Staying in this pack puts you at risk for enabling unethical people continue to be unethical. Thinking as a pack parent, I say, "Oh, everything must be fine! See? Faithhopelove's running things." If you leave, the Pack will either sort out the problems, or collapse. In either case, your family will be in a better unit.

 

If you want to stay, you need to get to know your Chartered Organization Representative. This person coordinates between Pack & church (or whoever charters) and works out logistics. (Ok, ours just signs adult applications, but they exist to do more.) Your COR can help establish the checking account for the Pack, and other auditting sorts of things.

 

If the COR is close to the former CM/current SM, I return to the "leave that mess." I am not a financial wiz, but I am pretty cynical; if the old management can blame you for this debacle, they will. Sending the letters to everyone & getting out prevents that. Somewhat.

[faithhopelovep91]

Wow! Thank you everyone for your responses. Sadly, as much stress and tears this Pack has caused me, I really didn't expect a unanimous "get out now". This kills me.

 

Lisabob, I like the letter idea. I guess I will wait and see what, if anything, happens tonight, then get started on that.

 

Greaves that's what really kills me the most, that they can/will/are blaming me for things that really aren't my fault. Whether I leave or not, I want the truth known. I honestly don't know if the COR is dirty. CC told me she has permission to forge his signature - I assume that's true. But, I know some members of that church (CO), many of whose children used to take gymnastics lessons from me, would listen.

 

Beavah, my husband, who is usually rather intuitive, has smelled something fishy with money from the beginning. Mostly because the CC's only regular function is to collect and deposit our money (reg, popcorn, et). And there seem to be ZERO checks and balances. No one else can request bank statements or anything. The old CM did keep dues. Hubby thinks she's either taking it or 'borrowing'. At one point her business was really struggle. I'm really not totally convinced. It would explain why they'd want to make me so miserable I leave. I ask too many questions and don't just leave things they want CC and SM want it. What I think is CC wants to keep me at enough of a distance from the money that she's using the other's disdain (whether that's racism or whatever) for me to keep me frustrated. She's as sweet as can be to my face....

 

Could anyone specifically address the Webelos camping with Troop issue? I know they're allowed to, but should the Webelos DL or myself (CM) have been contacted first? The wording for our Camporee was "Webelos dens may camp with Troop".

 

Thanks again everyone. You've brightened my day. And Hubby's really hoping I'll listen to ya =)

[ScoutNut]

Not knowing how your council/district had the camporee set up, what kind of activities were there for all Cub Scouts (including Webelos), or what their requirements were for Cub Scout parent participation, all I can say is If your council allowed Webelos dens to camp with a Troop then it is OK.

 

However it seems to me this should be a den thing, with the Webelos den leader coordinating it with the SM of the Troop.

 

Sorry, but from what you posted, both your Pack and Troop are a mess.

 

How many Cubs are in the Pack? It sounds like the entire Pack meets together every week? How were you able to be den leader for Tiger, Wolf, and Bears all at the same time/place?

 

If for whatever reason, you want to stay in the Pack and Troop, then I would do the following -

 

As CM, I would contact my COR (Chartered Organization Rep), and the head of the Chartering Organization (church), and get together for a bit of a meeting. Including your District Commissioner and your DE might not be a bad idea either. Find out what their ACTUAL rules are for your Pack. Let them know your issues with the whole combined mess you have now (do NOT make any accusations of embezzlement that you can not back up with hard, on paper, facts). Find out if it would be possible to change your meeting day/time/place, and what it would take to get a separate bank account, and separate committee members including CC.

 

A Pack is NOT a one man show. You MUST get parents to help as den leaders, and Committee Members. I don't know how you have been able to recharter each year if you and your husband are the only registered leaders. There must be a lot of "on paper only" filled positions.

 

You, your husband, and any other adults who are registered with the Troop need to get fully trained AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Youth Protection training is a MUST. Before you take the Pack on another campout, someone needs to take BALOO training. The Cub Scout program is changing for next year, and your leaders will need to take that training when it comes out in May or June.

 

If your meeting with your CO and COR does nothing to straighten out this mess, then I say take your boys and run, do not walk, to a Pack and Troop that are in decent shape and are following the BSA program.

 

[frank10]

Wow, my normal reply here to a posted problem is "there has to be more to the story. In this case It is "God I hope there isn't any more to this story!"

 

Sounds to me like you are putting your heart and sole into this and still it's not enough. Let me clue you in, it will never be enough. I don't blame you for not wanting to leave. So don't. On the other hand, this can't go on. Tonight might be an ambush or it may not be. For you sake, I hope it is. My advice is get behind them and push! Announce tonight that you are resigning as CM. They want a new CM let them find one. Be the best ACM you have ever seen. That way you will be sure that there will always be two active adults. And you won't be on the hook for all the trouble.

Lets face it, you didn't take this job for the glory and the patch, you took it to make sure there was a great program for your son. As ACM or DL you can provide that and you will get to sit back and complain about the new CM. Your family and yourself should not have to put up with all this stress. Don't wait until they break you, act now and reclaim you life.

 

Good luck

John B.

[faithhopelovep91]

Scoutnut - Our Camporee was set up with separate activities for Tiger, Wolf, Bear, and Scouts. Webelos, no matter whether they were camping with Pack or Troop could participate in either activities, with the proper adult leaders, of course. Our issue was, I found out that Webelos parents had been directly invited by either CC or SM to camp with the Troop. I didn't know anything about it, and neither did my husband, the Webelos DL. My husband would have gladly camped his Den with the Troop if asked.

 

Yes, the entire Pack has ALWAYS met together, every week. As I mentioned in the novel, when SM (old CM) was trying to run both Troop and Pack, we had ALLLLL boys in the same room. There was one small room off to the side that the Scouts or Webelos would use part of the meeting. In the last month or so, I've gotten enough parents to participate regularly to have the boys come in and go straight to their Den's table, to finally break up the monotony. Back when it was just CM and me most of the time, despite our desperate need for help, CM's regular mantra was "you can't make anybody do anything".

 

My husband and I have only been to the first training. I did some kind of youth protection training online (and others). I'm not sure if that's the same as some of you mentioned. Our district has a bit of trouble holding BALOO often enough. My right-hand-DL has had BALOO and more.

 

wingnut - You had my husband and I cracking up! I am going to do precisely what you suggest, except that I can not work under people who I feel have conspired against me. I don't know if anyone will understand that completely. I guess I've just held in way too much all these years, and if I give up, it will be completely. The animosity toward me has been growing since I WAS DL (all 3 at the same time). If I can't successfully implement positive changes in the Pack, I have to leave. I have chosen to put up with this mess this long, but I can't accept it. My husband has been asking me for nearly the entire I've been there why I keep trying to change things when it's obviously a waste. I HATE that the Cubs get swept away with my wasted efforts. The boy 'committee mom' wanted to keep with her at camp heard my husband and I saying as we left camp that we can't do this any more, and we need to leave and let them have it their way. He sadly asked "so you won't be there any more?". I feel really, really bad.

 

Due to your collective, wonderful help, I am at as much peace as I'll ever be about leaving the Pack. If something goes down tonight, we will resign immediately and get the heck out.....after videotaping anything juicy. If nothing happens, we'll have a few days to gather our thoughts, then resign. My husband wants to send a notarized, certified letter to the COR, Pastor, DE, maybe more, letting them know basically we don't know what's going on, but it's a mess, and we strongly suggest doing their own audit of the bank account.

[faithhopelovep91]

Oh, and YES LOTS of "paper only" adult leaders throughout the years. I'm glad that bothers somebody else. This is going to sound selfish, but for a long time I silently bore not only the burden of 3 dens, but having to put on an act in Pack meetings, and at district events that everything was fine and dandy. The reality was I was taking abuse and pretending it wasn't happening. Our pack is a lie.

 

Presently, we have 14 boys regularly attending Pack meetings. A few others re-registered, but haven't been around since Christmas break.