Where you least expect it......

[lrsap]

I had, or should I say my son had, a fantastic experience last night. Being his W2 DL, I have been setting up troop visits. I wanted to get in at least 3 for my den. The first 2 troops were easy. Very different programs but very good SMs leading them. I was having a hard time coming up with a third when a leader from a small troop, only a couple of years old, extended an invite at RT. I hadn't really considered the troop, but the leader is also a very good person and scouter, so I said sure. At least I now had my three.

 

Fast forward to last night, and what I saw was a good group of young boys learning to lead. Because of the age of the boys, the SM was close by. Not running the show, but helping the boys hone their own leadership skills by helping when needed. I saw boys taking pride in their troop and appearance, and extending a friendly hand to my young bunch of 5th graders.

 

Towards the end of the evening, the SPL (a young 14 year old) addressed my guys, giving them a run down on everything the troop likes to do and has done. Then the SM took some time with the Webelos to explain some of the finer details, and showed a genuine interest in the boy's scouting, not his unit's numbers. This was because he told them he would love to welcome them into his troop, but the most important thing is to find the best troop for them.

 

After the meeting, and a few detailed questions for the SM with my son at my side, it was time to go. My son, a shy one, then extended his left hand and thanked the SM for the evening. On the ride home, before I even got to tell him he did a good job with the handshake and thank you, tells me, "Dad, I think that's the troop I want to join." He spent the rest of the ride home talking about the SM, and how much he liked that he took the time to explain things to them.

 

The fantastic experience? My son made a genuine connection with his future Scoutmaster last night. And I was privileged enough to be there.

[ntrog8r]

Great to hear it really clicked for your son, Irsap. Sounds like you're off to a great start.

[Buffalo Skipper]

Being a SM with 3 months left as W2DL and having made multiple crossover presentations at roundtables (to Troop leaders, Pack leaders and SPLs), I can tell you this is how it is suposed to be done (by both the SM and the DL--well done!) I took my son to 3 troops, even though I am SM of one troop, and I have encouraged my Webelos to attend more than just my troop. We have hosted Webelos from dens which were "committed" to other troops, but we welcomed them in the same warm and inviting manner.

 

In the porcess, I have seen many surprising things. I have had Webelos cross solo to my troop when the rest of their den went somewhere else. And I have seen others who wanted to cross to our troop go elsewhere because their mother had a friend in the other troop (from the mouth of the Eagle-father).

 

The most we can do is provide the best opportunities for the scouts and hope the parents don't get in the way. Keep doing what you are doing; hopefully others will listen and pass it on.

[Knot Head]

Sounds great and I'm glad you got a good fit!

 

We invite and encourage people to attend one campout and our "recruiting meeting" in early Dec. After that folks can attend any meeting in Dec or Jan. if they want to check us out and to see how we roll. We go out of our way to tell them to visit three or more troops to find the best fit. They'll be happy if they mesh well with us but if they fit better elsewhere that's where they should go.

 

We try hard to be up front about who we are and how we do things.

 

[Mr. Boyce]

Wow! I'm excited for your son and I wish him all the best for his scouting experience!

[lrsap]

Thanks. I have thought and re-thought the whole troop selection process in terms of where my son and I might go. Then it kind of hit me, "Uh, it's really not about me, is it." That's when I figured, as long as I didn't see any reason to say no, it's his decision.

 

The funny thing is, I was thinking he would be impressed by well established troops with tons of tradition and Eagle plaques on the wall. But instead, he felt at home and a natural connection with a SM and a group of boys looking to start their own traditions. Actually, 30 minutes into the meeting I think I kind of knew, since I felt it too. I guess they never stop surprising you.

 

I just hope they have a spot for a newbie ASM. Oh, that's right. "Not about me.....Not about me...." I'm getting there.

[DeanRx]

Irsap-

 

While its great if your son has found a good fit, I might advise taking a little break and allow yourself to BREATH a little before jumping into an ASM role. While I'm an active CM, I've had many conversations with ASM and SM from Troops in ou area.

 

They all agree that a 6 month "cooling off" period for a parent when the scout transitions to a Troop is good for both boy and adult. One SM told me, "A lot of parents, especially those in pack leadership positions, want to jump right into the Troop too. Problem is, they have been used to leading and sometimes find it hard to back off and let the Patrol Method work."

 

The gist of his statement - is that sometimes its hard for a hard charging leader parent that is good for a cub pack to allow and accept the chaos and non-prefect execution of a boy-led patrol method troop at first. So, the best way to keep the troop from becoming "adult led" is to ask the newbie parents to take a 'time out' from a few months and just enjoy scouting with their son.

 

Not sure if you fit that mold or not, but I'm pretty sure I'll be in those boots in about a year and a half. At least you're reciting to yourself "its not about me..." It'll sink in sooner or later.

 

Have fun - glad he has found a group of guys he fits with... that's 90% of the battle right there.

[Eagle92]

MUST CONCUR WITH DOCTOR DEAN! I too have seen the hard time that CS leaders have making the transiion to BS leader.

[lrsap]

I agree that stepping away for a while would be a great idea, but I have one small thing that would prevent that from happening. M-O-M. It is a "He's not going into the woods without you" type of thing. But believe it or not, finding these forums and reading them practically EVERY night has given me some of the best Scouting advice I've ever received.

 

Because of this, I do actually have a plan to back off and let my son experience his scouting, with me basically being in the same building. And if I am offered a role in the Troop, let the adult leaders know to give me a gentle, "They'll be ok" if I ever get a little too Cubbish. But I honestly don't think they will need to that much. Trust me when I say some of us 5 year Cub Leaders are ready and willing to stop being the show.

 

Besides, as far as the Mom's rule for camping thing goes, all she would see is us leave together. The fact that we are at least 300 feet (or is it yards? so much to learn) apart doesn't have to be part of the dinner table conversation.