Our expectations

[Eamonn]

Reading what others have posted about Parents not stepping up to the plate, does at times leave me feeling a little puzzled.

This might be because I don't expect parents to step up to the plate.

I'm happy that we select the adults who will serve the Scouts we all serve.

This selection does help everyone understand what they are taking on and what they are letting themselves into!

This doesn't mean that I'm going to let everyone get away with doing nothing.

In fact I have a reputation for bringing adults into help and get involved.

The first thing we all have to understand is that people do need to be asked. If we never ask, they will more than lightly never volunteer.

Next we need to look at how we ask.

Sending letters or emails, most of the time is a waste of time. As is standing in front of a group of parents. I think, that they think the person next to them will step forward and the end result is that no one moves.

Asking someone face to face, not even over the phone is by far the best way to hook and reel someone in.

We then need to look at what we are asking them to do.

Again we need to know what we want. Standing there just asking for help doesn't get very many results.

Asking someone to do a specific job works better and this works even better if we know what the person likes doing.

Asking the Dad who likes to fish to organize the fishing derby will more than lightly work better than asking a person who has never gone fishing. Having a couple of parents who are NASCAR fans take on the Pine Wood Derby and so on.

I hate meetings where people feel that their time has been wasted. For this reason I'm very big on having the committee meet as a committee and the leaders who deliver the program meet as leaders.

This does mean more work for the SM or the CM.But such is life.

The people who agree to take on something do need to be held accountable to do what they said they are going to do.

Youth leaders work with the CM or the SM and people who have volunteered to take on other tasks need to work with the Committee Chair. The Chair should be following up and making sure that everything is going as it should be. Along the way offering kindly advise and a pat on the back.

Once we have someone doing something it then becomes less hard to get them to do something else.

The parent who does the refreshments at the Pine Wood Derby can be talked into taking care of the food at the B&G Banquet, the parent who helps drive the Scouts to camp can be talked into organizing the transportation to more camps.

I had a parent who volunteered to be a "Walker" at Day Camp one year, the next year she took on the craft area and went on to become Day Camp Director.

I don't ever have any expectations of the parents. I as a rule don't know enough about them or what is going on with them to be able to expect anything from them.

When a Lad signs up to join a Pack or a Troop I'm just happy that he has joined.

But having had someone help out once or twice does make life a heck of a lot easier when the nominating committee calls on him or her and asks for him or her to serve as a Leader.

Eamonn.

[ntrog8r]

I think you're right on the money with this. I got tired of no parent involvement way back as a CM. At the next Pack meeting I annonced which events, already on the schedule, would not happen since we did not have anyone to head them up. That evening, during the snack/fellowship fter the meeting, I approached specific parents with a direct personal request for their help. Only one said no, and a new recruiting method was born. I've used it ever since.

[scoutldr]

This method is actually taught in Leader training. Or at least it was.

 

Be direct. Be specific. Everyone is expected to do something.

[ntrog8r]

Right on - and Be Prepared. Know what you need done, what you want done, and then ask! I have seen groups where parents were excited to get involved but no on easked them to do anything for awhile so they just drifted away.

[Lisabob]

While we're on this topic, and maybe it is a tangent I'm not sure, I'm beginning to see with the PORs in troops that many scouters turn to the parents of boys who have been appointed to those PORS when there is a problem.

 

Maybe it is because my son is older now, that I feel this way. But I don't feel as though it is my job *as a parent* to ensure my kid fulfills his POR. That doesn't mean I won't be supportive of the troop in working with my child, or that I won't help my child. But ultimately the responsibility is his, not mine. It is kind of like when teachers constantly tell a parent that Johnny isn't turning in his homework or something. Yes, I'm going to reinforce the message at home but ultimately it is Johnny who has to physically turn in the work. I can't tail him around all day, and it wouldn't teach him much about responsibility if I did.

 

Seems like the role of parents is blurry, and ever-expanding.

[Eamonn]

Lisabob

Been there, and gone through that!

I at time get a little (Very little!) annoyed when people give me "The Look"!

This "Look" comes after they have asked where OJ is?

Or why he isn't where they think he should be or ought to be.

The truth is that I really don't know.

He is now 21 years old and does his own thing.

I do try and make a joke of it by telling them that today wasn't my day to watch him!!

But having said that.

I do have to own up.

I get a little peeved in this information age.

When I have send emails to 19 different email addresses (Kids seem to have at least 22.) Left messages on cell phones, texted and gone looking for a passing pigeon who might deliver a message and still got no reply.

When this happens I have been known to talk to the first person who answers the phone and unload all my sorrows and grief on them!

Even at my age Mothers seem to have a soft spot for me. I think the sad brown eyes and the accent have something to do with it?

As a rule my pleas are met with a "I'll box his ears and have him contact you ASAP"

Hey! Whatever Works!

Ea.

[SR540Beaver]

Lisa,

 

I understand what you are saying and agree. Let me throw a little different twist. Each election cycle, our boys actually have to fill out an application for a POR and turn it into the SM. They list three different POR's they are interested in, in the order they desire them. They have to explain why they believe they are qualified for the job. They are also supplied with a document outlining the job description of all the POR's and the uniforming, behavior and attendance expectations for the POR. There is a place on that application for the parent to sign saying they will support their son. That is mainly there as a reminder to the parent that their non-driving son can only succeed in his POR with their cooperation to get him there in a timely fashion and to make sure he makes all the meetings and outings even when something more fun might come along. In a sense, it is a partnering with the parent to help guide their sons to do the right thing and live up to the responsibility they sought thru the POR.

 

Edited: I just reread your post and I think we are saying the same thing. Ultimately, it is the boy's responsibility to fulfill the POR. Just like school work, we do desire for the parent to reinforce the guidance we provide, but even when they do, sometimes we have a boy who just won't get the job done. The main thing a parent can do to help is commit themselves to make sure Tom, Dick or Harry is transported where he needs to be when he needs to be and counsels him to make the right choice when he has a conflict in activities or wants to wear his sweatpants with his uniform shirt.(This message has been edited by sr540beaver)