How can we better emphasize self-reliance?

[kenk]

"our next campout is the weekend of 15 Sept at XXX Camp"

 

It would seem that the PLC should have been heavily involved in the decision to go to "XXX Camp" and hopefully even the decision as to when that trip would be held.

 

Somewhere on this forum - in the last day or two (my brain is getting old and lately I've reading this forum in short spurts rather than a long sitting) someone mentioned that it is important that the Scouters don't just leave the PLC and other Scouts to "do their best" and fail, without providing training, mentoring, guidance, and setting them up to truly succeed. I wholeheartedly agree with that idea. Responsibility is best handed over as a process that includes training and mentoring, rather than simply getting the responsibility dumped on one's head.

[scoutldr]

"Letting them fail"

 

I have always told the parents, "My responsibility is to get them there and back home alive. They may be cold, wet, hungry, dirty, smelly, bored, or pissed off, but that will be because of choices they make, not me." Never had to break out the body bag once.

 

There have been times when someone forgot the hot dogs or the can opener. They will survive on what they DID bring (maybe having one serving instead of three), and they do better next time. I remind them that they each should have a pocket knife and that little curly thingy can be useful for opening cans. I always have a spare sleeping bag in the car to prevent hypothermia, but I don't let them know it's there.

[eghiglie]

This was an enjoyable thread to read.

 

mafaking had a great post.

[Stosh]

What's wrong with letting them fail, stumble, etc. My SPL's nickname is Slug because he was basically lazy and didn't want to do any work. I called him that in front of the other boys. He was mad and walked out of the meeting, but came back the next week (yes, his dad was in the room). About half way through the meeting he got the nom-de-guerre once more for his attitude. Again he left early, but returned. The third time he got right in my face and told me in no uncertain terms he didn't appreciate it. I asked him what a slug was. He said it was a small, slimy, dumb creature. I said, No, it's short for sluggard or someone who is too lazy to look up the word in the dictionary....he was speechless. He's my best champion of the boy-led, patrol-method program and will be 3rd ASM for the council's 2nd contingent at National next summer.

 

I'm not here to build self-esteem, I'm building self-confidence and self-reliance and there is a big difference. Self-esteem is built by multiple, repetitive successes. Self-confidence and self-reliance is built by struggle, adversity and failure. To think one is going to reinforce self-reliance without failure is an activity of futility.

 

The sweetest words a SM hears is, "I screwed up, Mr. B, but I'm fixing it as we speak." No excuses, no blaming, no whining, just growth and understanding. I'd rather have 10 scouts that aren't afraid of failure than 100 who don't try because they are too scared.

 

Self-Reliance? = I know I can do it, if not, I can always fix it as I learn.

 

Stosh

[desertrat77]

Wow, great posts.

 

Stosh, I like your post. Our scouts need to be challenged...as I tell my kids when they complain about coaches or teachers who take them to task, "Take it as a compliment, because they care about you. If they didn't care, they'd let you do what you want and you'll never get better."

 

We aren't doing the scouts any favors by giving them unconditional affirmation. They need to learn feedback can be positive and negative...the negative, properly dispensed, is more valuable than the positive. If we sprinkle everything with sunshine, gosh, it's sure super wonderful peachy keen, but the scouts won't achieve much beyond their self imposed comfort zone.

 

So if the parents can't see this, we can at least give the scouts a taste of what self reliance really means. It's well worth the time and trouble.

[raisinemright]

We have developed our own recruiting materials. This year's theme is "Developing Leaders in a World of Followers." and that is how we plan to pursue our scouting year. We just had elections and finally have a mature SPL and I think a very good ASPL (my son). I'm looking forward to it.

 

Last week, a couple scouts came over to do the 2C swim test in my neighbors built in pool. It's just big enough to do the test and is ten feet deep.

 

One of them needed to do the water rescue stuff, so I sent my son into the pool to be the victim, then told the scout to find stuff to reach and throw to him.

 

The boy was looking around and walking slowly to stuff with no concern for speed or the victim.

 

I looked at him and said "you failed and the boy drowned."

 

After he got over his shock and looked like tears were coming. I said "try again."

 

Wow, he got it and moved like tome was really a factor.

 

 

[scoutldr]

"Developing Leaders in a World of Followers."

 

I love it.

[raisinemright]

Thank you.

 

I should probably copyright it.

 

Actually, I stole the basic wording form something Rush Limbaugh said and modified it for Scouts.

[GernBlansten]

Here's another one from El Rushbo that could be twisted for scouting

(Scoutcraft on loan from God)

[eghiglie]

Something to add here about how kids these days transfer blame as they learn to do it from the parents.

 

The story related is true, but not the name.

 

Joey has been in scouts for two years and this was his second summer camp, he is 2nd class. Not very active he misses a lot of meetings and has only camped 3 times other than summer camp.

 

Joey went to summer camp with us this year, and left his Scout book in a ASM's vehicle. Joey's parents pick him up Friday night, instead of letting him stay another night and help clean and pack up.

 

On Saturday the ASM gives me the book. Knowing I would not see Joey till September, as our Troop shuts down for the summer, I place it in a ziploc bag and put it in the trailer on a shelf.

 

We return home and during the summer the church pastor needs the trailer to move furniture, its the church's trailer and this has happened before.

 

The pastor empties the trailer out with help from others and puts everything in a shed. Somehow the scout book is not in the shed any more.

 

When we meet last night Joey asks the SPL where his book is. No one knows. His parents then tell me that he forgot it at summer camp. I relate what I know about the book going to the trailer and then the shed. Looking in the shed we find its not there, we also find a few other things missing. The trailer is empty.

 

The parents declare that the Troop is now financially liable for a new scout book and that the sentimental value could never be replaced. Not only do they want a new book, they want all the people to sign off in the same place.

 

My statement was simply, "So he allowed the book to be misplaced?" I then went silent, waiting for an answer. The boy then started saying that everyone hates him and we pick on him too much. His parents reinforce the statement. They leave with out another word.

 

 

[eghiglie]

Slight update to my last post

 

This morning I get an email from the boy and his parents apologizing for the attitude they gave me.

 

They also told me that they were going to leave scouting as Joey finds it boring now.

 

Although Joey needs scouting I can't make them stay.