Failure of Council to address leader issues

[NancyB]

I have posted questions for my friend who was afraid to post her questions about her husband being on the abuse registry & having inappropriate relationships w/other leaders b/c he felt threatened to keep quiet. She has followed through with the suggestions and contacted the appropriate counil person. Both of us want to thank those who provided help, as neither of us really understood the scout hierarchy and didn't understand who did what job. But we have been concerned by some of the responses on this board. many seemed to think that she was making these things up b/c she was getting divorced. did it not occur to those people that maybe she was getting divorced b/c he was doing those things??? it's a big difference. But she is now safe and is sharing my computer tonight:

 

His background check was done in 2003 and he was placed on the registry in 2004. both of our children were interviewed and photos of our son's injuries were taken. Charges were held open as long as he cooperated. He cooperated enough to get the charges dropped. Within the last 8 months, he was investigated 3 times for physical assaults/child abuse by both law enforcement and social services. At least one charge was referred to the county attorney but since the bruises had faded before our son was brave enough to tell about it, they chose not to file the charges. I am aware of 2 "inapporpriate relationships" during our marraige with other married leaders. this is not a figment of my imagination - delivery receipts for gifts to the other woman are pretty good proof. He is now allegedly involved in yet another inappropriate relationsihp with another married leader. He has used scout functions and the uniform to cover these relationships. Concerns were raised by other leaders & parents both about these relationships and his temper. Other boys asked our son about these relationsihps (before even I knew about them) and he was put in the position of keeping his father's behavior a secret from me. He avoided scout meetings & functions whenever possible b/c of this. It's adversely affected his ability to enjoy scouting. he is in counseling and his on mediation to help him with the damage that has been caused. I also had to suffer the humiliation of tests and exams to determine if I had contracted any diseases b/c of his indisretions. I discovered that he spent over $6000 of marital assets last year in his quest to be the perfect leader. Money that we cannot recoup from the boy scouts. No family in these economic times can afford that type of expenditure.

 

The person I contacted at the council was concerned and promised to look into it. His background check, according to the scout office, has never been updated since 2003. (I checked with the office to verify this) They have never contacted me back after my initial phone call. Instead, he is now the scoutmaster for the jamboree. My son is no longer going b/c I worry about his safety so far from home. He is ok w/my decision b/c he was worried about his safety too. I tried to find another troop for my son. We found one we liked. I was honest with the the scoutmaster about our reasons to switch, and he admiited to being worried about the safety of the other boys in his troop if he came along on an overnight trip since he was on the registry. I admire him for his honesty and insight about this concern. I chose not to switch b/c of his concern for the safety of the boys in his troop.

 

We are moving on with our lives. We have safety plans for the kids. The scoutmaster keeps a close eye on him, so I know my son is safe with his own troop. It is up to the council to take any further steps but they have not. The easy thing for me to do would be to keep quiet and forget about everything. But I worry about the safety of the other boys. I know that his being a leader is against all boy scout policies and if another boy is hurt b/c I took the easy way out, I don't want to live with that. I also worry that the council isn't being proactive about this. I gave them the name of the police officers so they could verify what I said - it is my understanding that they did not.

 

The scouts profess to be about family values and have issues with gays and atheists, but I would hope that they would have a stronger stance against those who abuse children.

 

thank you for giving me the opportunity to express my concerns and for those who offered me helpful suggestions on how to handle this issue. If you want to accuse me of having an agenda other than the safety of the other boys, that is your right just as it is my right to express concerns about a problem within my son's troop. Most of the leaders I have met are wonderful people and have the boys best interests at heart, but there are those few bad apples who give all of boy scouts a bad name. I can only hope that the scouts address the safety issue before something unfortunate happens. Perhaps the scouts need to institute background checks more often than just when a leader joins. But something needs to change. The scouts need to police their own members so that no one outside will have a need to do so.

[Hal_Crawford]

Assuming everything in the post is on the up and up then the council has acted irresponsibly to assign this man to be a Jamboree SM. I suggest you call the person at council that you spoke to before. Better yet, speak directly to the SE. Express your dismay that they would do this knowing that the man is on the child abuse registry (he is, right?). Ask him if the council would like to see this in the local newspaper or on the evening news. Tell him you expect action within the next ten days. Maybe your husband is only a threat to his own children but the council cannot afford to take that chance. If anything happens they're butts will be in a sling and it will be a black eye for the local council and BSA in general.

 

When you talk to the SE and if you do go to the media stick to the one salient point. This man is on the registry and he is still a Boy Scout leader. It is not about what he did to you or your children, it is not about his cheating; you could just be written off as an angry ex. It is about the risk that he poses to children.

 

When you do these things you need to be extra vigilant about your family's safety because your husband is going to be one angry SOB.

 

This sounds harsh and some are probably going to question your motives and whether this is all true or not. Some may see this as extortion. Bottom line to the council, it doesn't matter. If he is on the registry (even if wrongly accused) he has to go, simple as that. What SE in his right mind would do anything different?

 

[John-in-KC]

I'll offer a different approach from HC. Work through your Chartered Partner's IH and COR. The Chartered Partner is the licensee of record (charter-holder) for your Scout units. Their comments first insulate you and second allow the laser light focus as discussed by HC to happen.

 

It seems to me they would have an ability to voice being scandalized by this, yet be dispassionate.

[ScoutNut]

Forgive me, but as far as I know, a person does not get put on the Abuse registry until/unless they are convicted of a crime. If this were not the case any time an allegation were made, true or not, the person could be put on the registry.

 

According to you, charges have all been dropped and this man has never actually been convicted of anything.

 

Being unfaithful, and having an affair, while not right, is not against the law.

 

Why has the Charter Organization that owns your Troop, and who "hired" this man, not removed his membership?

 

Are you divorced with sole custody of your son? I do not see a judge giving custody to a father on an abuse registry.

 

If you are so afraid for your son, have you filed for an order of protection to keep his father away from him?

 

An order of protection against his father would also protect the other Troop that you decided not to join because you were afraid he would go camping with his son.

 

Abuse within Scouting is to be reported to the Council Scout Executive ONLY. The council is not required to tell you, or anyone except the person involved and the proper authorities, of the results of their inquiry.

[The Blancmange]

Forgive me, but as far as I know, a person does not get put on the Abuse registry until/unless they are convicted of a crime.

I think you are confusing the abuse registry with the sex offender registry, which is for convicted sex offenders. Abuse registries are generally maintained by your state's Department of Human Services, or equivalent. People are placed on the registry after someone reports alleged abuse and DHS determines the report to be "founded." There is an administrative appeal process, but the level of proof required is nowhere near as high as in a criminal case.

 

There are plenty of people out there on the abuse registry who still have custody of their own kids. However, those people are not allowed to work in child care, teaching, nursing homes, and presumably would be excluded from BSA leadership.(This message has been edited by The Blancmange)

[Hal_Crawford]

John raises an excellent point about going through the IH/COR. I doubt that it will insulate you all that much as there is no doubt that your ex-husband will know that you are the source. If the IH/COR will not intervene then I would still suggest you talk to the SE.

 

Does anyone know if the routinely check the DHS/CPS registries or only the criminal sex offender registry? That might be the problem. If they took the call from the wife and then did not find his name on the criminal registry then they might have written her off as a woman scorned and out for revenge.

 

I would hope that the council would not knowingly keep a volunteer whose name appeared on either registry. It is just too much of a risk.

 

Hal

 

 

[BadenP]

Nancy

I have a couple of issues with your post. First if you really did speak to someone at the council they would not have told you about your husbands last background check for legal reasons. Secondly, there are registries kept by law enforcement agencies, and the BSA maintains their own registry of people whose BSA memberships were revoked and were permanently black-balled from the BSA, even if there was no conviction for a crime. The BSA list is only accessible to the SE, that list would have been reviewed, as well as law enforcement agency checks before he was made jambo SM. So I guess my question is what background check are you referring to?

 

Technically if he was not convicted of any crime and he was never blackballed from the BSA there is nothing you can do or that the council is required to do, except take the proper steps to protect your son. You probably should be getting proper legal advice instead of asking people on a forum. Best Wishes to you.

[NancyB]

Thank you for your comments. child abuse registry is different from sex offender registry. A person is placed on the sex offender registry after conviction. A person is placed on the child abuse registry if the state dept. of social services places a report that is determined to be founded/confirmed that the individual has abused or neglected a child in his/her care. The standard of proof is different.

 

I do have sole custody at this point. I tried for protection orders during the proceedings, but was not able to get one since the abuse was not "recent enough". It is easy to hide abuse on a teen b/c most moms do not see their sons without clothing after a certain age. And a child can be threatened/intimidated into silence. In this case, the physical abuse was reported by myself, the victim's advocate office and our family physician. I have reason to believe that the school also reported concerns.

 

My issue with him as a leader is solely his placement on the child abuse registry. I am honest about what else happened so no one can accuse me of trying to hide any allegedly secret motivation. The laws in our state prevent him from working in child care and other professions due to his placement on the registry. I only want the boy scouts to check into my concerns and then make a decision. As far as the information as to his most recent registry check, I asked at the local scout office and they pulled out his card and told me.

 

As the parent, I can swear that the investigations happened. I was notified of his placement on the registry. I would be more than willing to provide the council with the names of all the investigators and let them talk to our son. He can describe what he experienced in going through the investigation and how it felt to have pictures taken of his injuries that his father caused. I just don't want him to be in a position to hurt another child b/c of his anger problems. When I initially told the appropriate person in our council, the first response was - but he's such a good leader, I can't believe he would do that.

 

As far as his infidelity goes, I know that these things happen between adults, but when it becomes a problem that a child is staying away from meetings b/c the other boys are questioning him about it and other parents are upset about the behavior of the adults in question at a meeting, what kind of example are they setting for the boys? Are there families who are leaving quietly b/c they don't what their boys exposes to this type of behavior? What is the effect on the troop as a whole and its morale? My son has said that his reason for not going to jamboree is b/c he doesn't want to have to listen to the other boys talk about his dad and the other leaders b/c they haven't been discreet about their behavior.

 

Thanks again for the suggestions.

[Lisabob]

I am truly sorry that you have had to go through such a difficult experience, and that your children have suffered too.

 

I completely understand where you're coming from when you question whether others might be quietly leaving because of his apparent behavior and the rumor and innuendo that probably surround it. That could be addressed by the charter organization (they have the right to turn away anybody as a leader at any time, for pretty much any reason). And it is clear from what you wrote that the first person you spoke to from the council, whose response was "he's such a good leader, I can't believe it" needs to learn some things about the typical behavior patterns of abusive individuals. Maybe they should also re-take their Youth Protection Training! I seem to recall the online YPT including info about how abusers often cover their tracks.

 

I am not in your position and so it is a little hard to know what I would be comfortable doing. However, I think you need to talk to the Scout Executive in your council. This could be accomplished in a face to face meeting, by a letter, or through the troop's charter organization as someone suggested earlier. But I think this rises to that level. And again I don't know how you and your son feel, but I think I would be strongly leaning toward shielding your son from having to talk about this with still more adults from some council committee or something, who he probably does not know well. Whatever was in the initial reports to social services was probably difficult enough for him.

 

I wish you only the best and I commend you for your strength in dealing with such a difficult issue.