Verbal altercation w/parent at meeting

[curtis]

I am cubmaster for the Pack. At tonights meeting I was baited and entered into a verbal altercation in front of three webelos and another parent and cub sister. This particular dad has never wanted to be in volved in the first place but his told him he had to be. From day one he has constantly been a complainer. He has been a thorn in my side. I am undecided if I should just close the pack and take my son to another pack or continue on with this pack. The altercation started when I was explaining why I need help as a leader. I was talking about why I need den leaders, something the pack has not had since I have been leader. What should I do? More info will be submitted if you need it to give me some ggod advice. I know that I should have walked away, but I did nnot make the best choice. Help?

[Eagle92]

if you are trying to do a one man show, ie be CM and a DL, and you have no support, talk to your committee and tell them they need to do their job and recruit parents to be leaders. otherwise you may need to fold shop and move to a pack that is working.

[wolfmama500]

More info needed, like how many kids in the Pack? How many dens? Do you have any support at all from an organized committee or are you running a babysitter business? ( not trying to be a smart behind). I know that being a CM can be a load of work, a den leader even more and trying to get parents involve is very hard, so as soon as we get more details I can give you my .02 cents. Don't blame yourself just yet, sometimes you get ambush into situations that are very hard to get away from...

[CalicoPenn]

You have a Cub Scout Pack with no Den Leaders? None?? The you don't have a Cub Scout Pack, you have a "super" den, and you're the Den Leader.

 

At this point, I suggest you start to think about your son's experience and your family's experience. Go visit another Cub Scout Pack - and if you like it, join it. If the Pack you're in folds because you aren't involved, then it was never meant to be. Don't let anyone guilt you into staying involved.

[Melgamatic]

Agreed. If you really have a pack without any den leaders, you don't have anything resembling a pack! You should take your son and head to an actual pack. If you were just having some trouble getting a few more parents involved that's one thing, but with 0 parents involved there is nothing here to save...

[GKlose]

We cycled through 3 packs along the way -- it's a long story, so I won't repeat it here. But I will offer some hindsight.

 

The first pack was tiny, and was a "one-man show." We probably had 12 to 15 Cubs, as I recall, and pack meetings were like (as CalicoPenn put it) a "super-den" meeting. We'd plan them so that multiple achievements happened, cutting across den boundaries.

 

The CM/CC decided he'd had enough. He only gave us about a week before he announced that he would be moving to a new pack, and at least half of the families followed. The first time I met our DE (and a UC that I didn't know existed) was at an "emergency parents meeting" where two other dads and I showed up. There was nothing but pressure from the DE and UC to keep the pack alive. No help or advice, just a guilt trip being laid upon our feet. It didn't happen, and the pack folded.

 

We moved on to the other pack, and were unhappy there. So we moved to another pack, and finished up our final three years there. We were fairly unhappy there too.

 

The bottom line is that the original, small pack, was our most comfortable fit, and I regret that it folded so quickly and that we couldn't save it. But I've noticed most of the packs in town are "one-man shows" and I've come to realize that is exactly the wrong way to run a pack. The healthy, vibrant packs have a strong committee with distributed leadership. Perhaps we, as adult leaders, concentrate on building the program so much that we lose sight of the idea that building a strong committee is a critical job.

 

One final note: that original pack, the small one, was a feeder pack for a small scout troop. The oldest one in town, dating back to the 1920s. That troop is probably folding this year. The SM blames the fact that he lost the feeder pack.

 

Guy

[scoutldr]

When all else fails, look at your Pack roster printout from Council. If you don't have one, ask the Council secretary to print one out for you. In addition to yourself and the boys, you should see names listed for Committee Chair, Chartered Organization Rep., and at least one Den Leader. Call them and request a meeting. Then lay out your request. Being a good Cubmaster is a full time job. So is being a good Den Leader. Rarely can you do both well, much less the Committee's job too. The others are correct. If there are no functioning Den Leaders, then there's nothing to fold...you don't have a Pack. And another note...YOU do not make the decision to fold or not fold...that's the Chartering Organization's decision. All you can do is transfer your membership to another unit, or quit. So don't feel guilty about something you are not responsible for. Yes, the DE will talk a blue streak to get you to stay, but don't listen to him/her. Their goal is to meet their job goals to stay employed or promoted.

[packsaddle]

I was a cubmaster for years. In order to repond meaningfully, I'd like to know more detail. How many boys in the pack, numbers in each age? Are there leaderless dens or as was suggested, do you merely have a superden? Do you have an active committee? Is the CO aware of this situation? Is the problem this one guy or are there other things?

When I started as CM I was also trying to hold a pack together long enough to get it back on its feet so I understand how frustrating these things can be.

[ScoutNut]

Who is this dad you had the argument with? You said he is involved, but does not want to be? How is he involved?

 

What was the argument over recruiting more den leaders? Den leaders are necessary to have a healthy Pack. I don't see anything to argue about there. If your leaving would cause the Pack to fold then it sounds to me like you need to do some heavy recruiting of both leaders AND boys if you decide to stay.

 

Do you have a Committee Chair and a Charter Org Rep? Have you spoken to them about this parent, and the recruitment needs of the Pack?

 

 

[tonys]

If What you posted is true, and there are no parents willing to step up and run dens then moving is your only option. you can't do it all and if you try you will burn out. Remember you need to take care of your family also I love scouting but do what is best for you and your son if moving is it so be it. if the de wants to save the pack/super den let him recruit the parents.

[John-in-KC]

While I need a litte more info on what happened, would it be true to say that this particular parent pegged your "fun meter?"

 

If that is true, and you are serving all the program functions for these kids (how many BTW?), then I absolutely agree with Eagle92: Have an offline cup of coffee with your Committee Chair. Tell him you are not a one-man show. If he cannot work the parents and the Chartered Partner to get folks to step up, your plan is to transfer yours/your families' membership and leave the Pack. At that point, Cub Scout Training tells us, the CC becomes the Program Officer as well.

 

BTW, source for that last comment is:

http://www.scouting.org/cubscouts/aboutcubscouts/thepack/pcomm.aspx

If the Cubmaster is unable to serve, assume active direction of the pack until a successor is recruited and registered.