Scout Profiles on MySpace and Facebook

[vcrew66]

Looking for feedback, but please don't waste everyone's time with just spouting off just to hear your own voice!

 

I have, by accident at first but now through searching, stumbled across a few local Scouts' profiles on MySpace and Facebook that are just plain deplorable (to say the least).

 

Even their profile names are chock-full or profanity (one's username is "Holy F...in' Sh.."!). They put-down less fortunate families, have pictures of them at alcoholic parties, and their comments advocate for teen drinking, drugs, and anarchy.

 

I have spoken to two of the boys now, and was shot down by both for simply reminding them about being clean, courteous, etc. even in the virtual world of cyberspace. I plan to speak to them again, and then take the issue to their parents if necessary.

 

What would/did you do in this situation?

 

Thanks.

[Lisabob]

I'd take it to their parents now. If they are engaging in illegal behaviors then their parents should be told. So should the Scoutmaster (if you aren't the SM) and the Committee Chair. Quite aside from the scouting angle though, you do not want to find yourself in a position of telling the parents AFTER something happens to their kid that you knew about it but declined to tell them.

[OldGreyEagle]

Maybe you will feel bad if you tell the parents about their son's Facebook page and the youth decide to ignore you, then imagine how you would feel if you do nothing and the next time you see the parents is at the memorial service for their son killed in an auto acident while DUI your call

 

it may do well to let the youth know that informatoin on the web is really out there, for anyone to see and many people do see it

[Stosh]

As a caring concerned friend of the boy's parents, they should be told and then the issue is closed. I, as a parent would want to know if it was my kid, but then I may be in the minority on this issue. It's a parent's issue, it's up to them what they want to do, but they need to have the information to make an informed decision.

 

Stosh

[evmori]

Interesting!

 

Well, when these guys come up for a BOR, this should be factored in. After all, they are to be living the Scout Oath & Law in their everyday lives, aren't they?

[emb021]

Someone needs to make them understand that what they 'do' on Facebook can have repurcusions.

 

Am dealing with that now with a group I advise. A couple of members of the group went drinking and posted pictures of themselves doing some stupid stuff. Got themselves in a lot of hot water with the university, and their association with our group has been a source of problems.

 

A lot of college groups are getting themselves in trouble when members post pictures of the group (or members of the group) doing stuff they shouldn't. I've also heard of employers looking at people's FB info and turned people down because of it.

 

[Lisabob]

There was a case a couple of years ago where some teens got caught drinking and the judge gave them a fairly light punishment. Not too long after, those same teens posted a bunch of photos of themselves drinking and carousing, along with some expletive-laden rants about how stupid the judge was, on a social networking site. The judge stumbled across the site and hauled them back into court. They did not get off lightly the second time.

[artjrk]

I've just started exploring the realm of Facebook myself. It started as way to keep up with my sons. I've reconnected with old High School friends. As I am going along I have been asked to be "Friends" with many of my Scouts as well as other friends of my sons. It is with a feeling of reward to realize that these guys actually want to be associated with me. I have started a new group listing for the troop to be a "virtual" campfire for current and former Scouts and Scouters of our troop.

 

The issue of maintaining Scout Spirit is one I am trying to figure out how to promote. I'm hoping thru discussions online and in meetings I can impart my concerns to the boys in a positive manner.

 

I see a great value in using these new forms of communication so I am attempting to embrace it.

 

The only thing my wife has cautioned me about is the appearance of an older man befriending younger boys. As a cooach I had the same issues. One self imposed rule I have is to only accept Friend requests for the boys and not to initiate it. That is another reason for having the Troop site was to take myself out of the focus.

 

On a side note I enjoy playing WoW , an online game, and I try to impart a more family friendly attitude amongst my fellow players. I just remind them that some of us have younger children playing. They are receptive to that. Also in casual conversations, I have discovered several of my Online Friends are also Scouts and several are Eagles. It has put an interesting perspective on this whole thing. Where most of us in the game are anonumous strangers who can respect each other, I sure know scouts can do the same.

[Liz]

I agree that these boys' parents need to be informed. I would do that first, before talking to the boys about it again. But I also don't think I'd drop the issue with the boys, even if the parents aren't willing to take any action.

 

My sons each have Facebook and Myspace accounts, with the condition that I am in their friends lists. They don't use Myspace much, but we all use Facebook fairly regularly. I use it to keep up with my own friends, but the main reason I stay active on it (not daily, but every week or so) is so I can keep an eye out for what my kids are doing. One of my sons did once put up something that I felt was questionable, and I made him take it down. It was a good opportunity to discuss intention vs. impression when things are put out there in public for people to see.

 

I also use Facebook to monitor my niece's online "comings and goings" since no other adult in her life is doing so. In addition, my kids are required to keep my husband and his adult children on their Friends lists. They also have such people as our pastor and youth pastor on their lists; the more trusted adult spies who have access to their pages, the better, I think. (And I also keep an eye out for my friends' kids on Facebook).

 

There is one other boy in my sons' troop who's on Facebook, and he's also in my Friends list, as well as on my sons' Friends list. But I don't get into "SuperPoke" or other ongoing stuff with him. I try to keep online communication with troop members (including email) on a "professional" level. In fact, the only reason I email this boy at all is because his dad's the Scoutmaster and he doesn't do anything online at all (and I can hardly conduct any business without it). So the boy is my liaison to his dad ("Hey, _____. Can you ask your dad _______ for me? Thanks!")

[Trevorum]

I'm FB friends with about 30 of the fellows/gals in our troop and crew. I don't write on their walls very often but it is nice to know what they are up to other than on Monday nights. Most of the fellows are pretty savvy about the public nature of their cyberstuff. However, last November one fellow posted some nasty racist comments about Mr. Obama and I dropped him a private message reminding him of the 5th point of the Scout Law. I think he was startled to realize that an adult in the troop could actually read his FB page. He seems to have cleaned up his act since then.

[John-in-KC]

I'm also FB friends with several of the young people in EagleSon's crew.

 

I wholeheartedly endorse what Lisa and Ed said.

 

 

[BadenP]

vcrew66

Have you made yourself a cyber police officer and why are you looking up scouts profiles on facebook, et. al? This kinda smacks of stalking, and even if you tell on them what do think the consequences to you might be, probably not good.

 

Teens do stupid things,use profanity, everyone who is a parent with teens knows that, while I don't condone their behavior if we scout leaders punished scouts in our troops who had done something stupid we would have very few boys left in scouting.

[Lisabob]

Baden, I completely disagree. These sites are public spaces, but kids often do not realize the potential range of their online actions. To make a comparison: if a boy in the troop were standing on the corner in his town, drinking and carrying on, would you expect that the SM would drive past, see the boy, and say nothing?

 

Last year I was on my way somewhere in my town. As I drove down the street, I saw one of our scouts who had just received his license driving (fast, in the middle of the road) toward me. With another boy, also from the troop and a Patrol Leader, on the roof of the car, "hood surfing." These boys are both Life Scouts. The SPL was driving the car right behind them, laughing. He's also a Life Scout. There were a couple of younger scouts in both cars as passengers. That's an example of very poor judgment that could have easily led to the death of the scout on the roof of the car. I've known the boy on the roof since he was 6 years old and in the same wolf den as my son. Yup, I called that kid's mom and told her. And I told the SM too, since this involved our scouts and happened when the boys were on the way home from a PLC at his house. He called the driver's parents. If it had been my kid, I sure hope that someone would have called me.

 

What happened between those boys and their parents is the parents' responsibility. But expecting a scout leader to see public displays of seriously bad judgment and illegal behavior and to stand silently by so as not to upset boys is wrong. Part of building young men of character is to make clear to them when they've gone wrong and what the consequences of their actions are. Often that can be done between the scout and the SM in a quiet way, but not when it comes to illegal or life-threateningly stupid behavior.

[scoutldr]

"my kids are required to keep my husband and his adult children on their Friends lists."

 

That's just the page they WANT you to see. My adult son blew the whistle on his 12 and 13 year old niece and nephew who had racist/obscene MySpace pages, listing themselves as 21 year old college students. Their mother's response, "oh, well, maybe I need to pay more attention to what they are doing." That same niece is now 14 and going to the prom with her 17 yo boyfriend, and her mother has no idea where they are going after they "make an appearance" for an hour at the prom. My point is, if the parents don't care enough to know what's going on, you're wasting your time. If you see things that violate the Scout law, print a copy and haul it out during his next BOR, and ask "if you are doing this kind of thing, why should we advance you?"

[HobcawChaos]

My response would be to alert the parents to the content. I would certainly want to know if the roles were reversed. The Scouts should also be aware that many employers regularly google potential employees as well as search social networking sites for them. Bottom line, if your grandmother (or SM) wouldn't approve, don't post it!