"Just wait, it gets even more complex

[Hal_Crawford]

Ed:

So you snoop around until you get the dirt. Still doesn't sound like a place a scout leader should be going. I realize that sometimes we need to know the family dirt... dad under a restraining order etc... but I think that is up to parents to reveal as they deem necessary. I think the leader needs to worry first about the example he or she sets and less about the example that the scouts parent sets.

 

Personally, I might draw the line if the mom or dad showed up with a weekend date... not someone who is part of the family unit. If mom/dad and significant other are living together with scout then I would see it as a family unit and if mom/dad and other want to share a tent I don't think that I would say anything. It has been a while since I've done the Cub Scout family camping thing but I didn't check marriage licenses and couldn't honestly say if all the parents were married.

 

My main concern would be if parents behavior was disruptive to the event. I have had that happen more than once but it never had anything to do with sex or tenting arrangement.

 

Hal

 

 

 

[frank10]

Wow, first time I said anything worth someone spinning off of! Print this out and put it on the fridge (to bad there's not a red star on it).

 

Ok, how about this case, camping trip one, Dad and scout attend, second trip, step dad and scout attend. Are they on equal footing or do I tell step dad that he can't sleep with scout?

 

In our case it wasn't a problem since we are a troop not a pack so boys sleep by patrols. But since they came up from the pack they must have either dealt with this or ignored it...

 

How about an uncle? Cousin? ( by blood or marriage?)

[Hal_Crawford]

With cubs family camping it is a tough call, with scouts I would say scouts sleep together in their tents and adults sleep separately. Since I say that to all parents I wouldn't have to worry about family relationships. One exception, we had a special needs scout. At camp he needed to tent with an adult, usually his father. One time the Dad couldn't make it so his uncle (father's brother) was there instead. No problem as far as any our leadership was concerned; we were just glad that the boy could be there.

 

Hal

[evmori]

No Hal no snooping. This isn't rocket science!

[Novice_Cubmaster]

Gee, I guess I broke the rules.

 

One of our leaders from a few years ago lives with a woman (without the benefit of clergy, as my ma would say). This woman has been functioning as the mom in the family for a number of years - she's no "shack up of the month". The other pack leaders & families probably had no idea that the leader & his significant other weren't married - but I did, as they live a few doors down, we see them socially, and our kids play together all the time.

 

Did I ever say a word about the leader and his son sharing a tent with the significant other? Heck, no.

 

Not because I might lose a really good leader. Or because I might tick off a friend/neighbor. There was no way I'd let this leader's son think that anything about the woman raising him wasn't up to snuff. (I could think of a number of legally wed parents that - parenting wise - couldn't hold a candle to the leader & his significant other.

 

Situational? Totally. There are some unwed couples (accent on the "coupling") that I would not let share a tent - but the non-parent in these relationships usually aren't the family camping type.

 

As Hal said, "BSA is living in the 1950's; the rest of us are in the 21st century. Life isn't Ward and June, Wally and the Beaver."

 

NC

 

[jr56]

Agreed, this situation becomes more complex by the day. The BSA is going to have some hard decisions to make. Glad I don't have to make them.

[IM_Kathy]

we had this issue when we went to summer camp as webelos...

 

1 boy - dad couldn't go, mom's husband could... boy wasn't allowed to stay with mom's husband because he was not legally responsible for the boy ie - not adopted or legal guardian because birth parents had joint custody.

 

sadly that boy did not go because he didn't want to share tent with boys - he wanted his step-dad.

 

I understand the rule, but I would think in the case I just mentioned the mother should be allowed to put into writing permission given and the BSA should allow it.

[shortridge]

Out of curiosity...

 

It seems like more than a few of the troublesome situations being described here involve step-parents who are not the legal guardians of the Scout. Yet schools seem to not have any problem with accepting step-parent signatures, pick-ups, emergency contact info, etc. If schools don't, why does the BSA?

 

I'm also wondering why step-parents wouldn't become the legal guardians of a child that they're helping to raise. Can someone in the know comment as to the difficulty in doing that? Are just there a ton of obstacles to overcome, and that's why the step-parents don't do it? Legal prohibitions against it?

[SR540Beaver]

deleted by SR540Beaver(This message has been edited by sr540beaver)(This message has been edited by sr540beaver)

[Buffalo Skipper]

We had a very unique situation in our Pack with a boy we'll call "Steve."

 

Steve's father was killed (US Navy fighter pilot--carrier accident) before he was born. After several years his mother dated and moved in with a man. Because the father was killed in action, they will lose benefits if the mother's boyfriend (call him "John") marries and adopts her children. He is, in reality, the only "father" they have ever known. He is in fact, a vet, and their "family" portrait hangs in the lobby of his hospital. John is filling the role of "father" for Steve (and doing 100 times as good a job as many other dads in the pack!), so should you deny Steve the chance to participate with John on a father-son campout or similar activity?

 

Certainly this situation may be described as atypical, and prehaps even as extrordinary, but such an argument can be made for many unusual situations in this day and age.