Character when nobody is looking

[Eagledad]

Hi All

 

I used to teach my scouts that your true character is how you would act when nobody is looking. I like to monitor scouting forums because scouting is my passion. But I also glance at other forums for various reasons and it seems like there is a trend that folks are getting down right rude and obnoxious. I even see more of it here on this forum where I think folks behavior would be at a higher standard.

 

It got me wondering that maybe we are seeing the character of people of when they feel nobody is looking? Are folks starting to think it is OK to see the worst of them because we cant see their face? I use to really enjoy the new computer technology because it allowed us to spread information faster and farther. But now Im not so sure it is worth the baggage it brings with it.

 

I have always dreamed that maybe someday I would be invited to a reunion of sorts for the Scouters of Scouters.com. And I would hope that folks would look forward to meeting me as much as I would certainly look forward to meeting you. But are their some folks who would rather I just skip the reunion because I exposed some character that I wouldnt have done in person. I sure hope not.

 

Barry

 

[evmori]

I would agree, Barry, that character is how you act when nobody is looking. I know for me, when I post in a forum, I am posting as me, not the "handle" I have given myself. In other words, in person or in a forum, you get the same thing with me.

 

I do think some people feel that no one will know who they are in on-line forums and they feel they can post whatever they want. I' not pointing fingers at anyone, just making an observation.

[skeptic]

Yes, I would agree that it is related to the "you can't see me" idea on the web. In yesterday's paper, there is a good example here in S.C.. A young man in South Pasadena started a "no cussing" club, the goal to bring a bit more civility back to the everyday language we all speak and hear. He has a web site. Recently he has been inundated with all kinds of nastiness, not only on the site, but now to his home address which has been published by someone; porn magazines, litanies of four letter words, and now even death threats. The police have begun an investigation, due to the threats. What is wrong with people?

[Stosh]

My boys all know who I am on this forum and are encouraged to particpate and/or at least lurk and learn. Other scouters who know me in real life recognize my posts and have asked if I am the one posting. With that being said, I don't think I would do anything different if I was more annonymous.

 

Stosh

[Twocubdad]

One of my ASMs was trying to make the point with a boy that "character is what you do when no one is looking" and the boy replied, "Nah, what you do when nobody's lookin' is called stealin'!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Kudu]

If you can't argue the facts, argue the law; if you can't argue the law, argue character.

[Eamonn]

Hi Barry,

I no longer have any involvement with other forums that deal with Scouts and Scouting.

I quit posting on one because I didn't like the way one Moderator went about things.

Sad thing is that this fellow is a pal of mine.

In "Real Life" he is a nice fellow.

In the forum he is involved with; at times he comes off sounding like Attila.

 

I don't know the reasons why people post in this forum or other forums?

From where I sit, I do think some people see this forum as a way of spreading the word. For some the word is BSA policy, rules, regulations and any deviance from this is something they see as not being a good thing.

For others the word is Scouts and Scouting as they see it. They seem to have an idea what Scouts and Scouting should be about.

Very often what they see as Scouting is based on the writings of people who are no longer with us. Which I suppose is OK. But to my mind it doesn't take into account what these people might say today if they weren't dead.

I wonder what BP would say or do if he were around today dealing with youth who live in some of our big cities and the problems that these youth face?

Some people at times do come off with a "Holier than Thou" sounding attitude. How I deal with this depends on the mood I'm in and if I agree or disagree with them. Of course if what they are posting is something I'm in agreement with, I'm not as lightly to get upset, even if the way it is put over is on the pompous side of the track.

I tend to use the forum almost like some sort of a blog.

I post what is on my mind at that time.

Be it what has happened when I took the dogs out, what happened at some meeting or something I may have seen or read.

I'm happy to share my past experiences at times even admitting that there have been times when I may not have been right.

As for meeting up with other forum members?

Every year (Well most years!) On Christmas Eve I host an open house. I invite people to just stop by for a drink, a bite to eat or just pop in so we can wish each other the best for the season. While it is an open house and we have never and I hope would never tell anyone that they just weren't welcome, there are people who we don't invite. Some of these people I have known for a very long time, but for one reason or an other they just aren't my cup of tea.

There are some people that are friends of mine or friends of HWMBO who one of us doesn't like very much. In fact HWMBO best friend is someone I see as being a real pain in the neck! Still, even she serves a purpose. When HWMBO and myself are at odds, I think how lucky I am not to be married to her best friend.

I think I'm about the same in real life as I am here.

I would hope that as time goes by I'm still developing and at least trying to do a better job of being a nicer person.

One great thing about Scouts and younger people is that do have a good insight into what people are really like. They are willing if we allow them, to tell us what they think about us. They are also very forgiving, they take us as we are with all of our flaws and weak points.

Hopefully they learn, not only from the good things but also from the not so good?

As for us?

Each of us is in charge of how we feel.

We can allow someone to get too us, we allow ourselves to get upset or mad.

At the end of the day the only true judge of character is ourselves. How do we feel about what we have done and what we might have failed to do?

I spend my time at work with convicted criminals are these guys any worse than the people who didn't get caught? Do the guys who didn't get caught think about what they have done?

I'm not exactly sure what makes humans human? But I think having a conscience is a big part of it.

Eamonn.