Creepiness?

[Xtreme]

I think that in some cases, without those adults whose sons were already gone, the troop would not exsist. If certain parents fail to get involved, you need people to step up. Some adults just love the program and the ideals that it is instilling in the boys. Why wouldn't an adult want to be apart of a great program? The parents who stick around even after their son is gone has experience with the troop and has already created friendships within the unit. I see no creepiness about that. And women leaders should get the same credit as the guys do. Just because the program is for boys doesn't mean that the women leaders shouldn't be involved. It can give the boys experience socializing with adult leaders, as well as their peers. The women have the same intention as the adult men do: and that is to make the scouting program run smoothly and a great experience for the boys.

[Mr. Boyce]

Again, some of the general demonizing of adult men. Of course, everyone wants to be safe, so fearfulness can get exaggerated. I am extremely thankful to have had a young single scoutmaster--one who put a ton of time and money into it; he could relate well to us boys ("youth") and we had a great time. (Of course, when he got to being serious about getting married, he realized being in the woods on weekends hurt his prospects and ditched the troop!).

 

At any rate, as an adult male, I'm tired of getting people thinking I'm a creep if I'm sitting on a park bench watching my son play far off, or just being by myself in public shopping or whatever. I'm just tired of it. Why isn't there a concern about creepy women? Such things exist.

 

I'm just tired of this fearfulness, and I wonder if we exaggerate the amount of predators out there due to the media blasting every incident that happens across the country.

[packsaddle]

OK, I just came back to this thread after a really nice hiatus (and that ain't a medical condition;)).

Has anyone defined 'creepy' yet.

 

Mr. Boyce, with regard to 'creepy' women, I think I might actually find some of them very intriguing, perhaps even - well - attractive. Until someone explains the term, 'creepy' in a way that has the same common meaning to everyone, I think I'll only use it in jokes or something. I can't really take it seriously otherwise.

[Gold Winger]

creepy (krp) adjective

creepier, creepiest

Informal.

1. Of or producing a sensation of uneasiness or fear, as of things crawling on one's skin: a creepy feeling; a creepy story.

2. Annoyingly unpleasant; repulsive: the creepy kids next door.

 

[Eagle92]

I must be one of the creepiest of the creeps around. Not only am I a Scouter without a child in the program, but also I was a stay-at-home dad for four year!

 

Yep I got tired of some of the looks when I was out with my kids while I was in grad school and looking for a job. But the heck with them.

[Xtreme]

I think that some people are just too judgemental. I think people should be able to tell the difference between someone actually being there for the right reasons or not. And if at all concerned, talk to them about it. Yes, I don't think that some of you that have posted should be labeled as creepy, but I also think that women shouldn't get discriminated about it either. I think it goes both ways and they should be treated as equals. Otherwise, it seems that many are being sexist. Overall, people now of days are too judging and don't even know the person before they make assumptions.

[gcan]

Just my 2 cents...

We had a creepy, never had kids but used to be a boy scout. We took Creepy out of a direct service position with the little ones and found a postion on the committee more suitible just because this person was making the parents uncomfortable. Were they right? who knows, but bottom line they were uncomfortable with this person being in direct contact with thier boys. Creepy has no record or history or anything of anything involving children (but there are other things), but parents just didn't like this person touching tier children.

 

ultimatly we are each responsible for our own childrens' safty, and we make judgement calls based on what WE think. the guy next door makes his calls the same way, and even though we may think he's racist/sexist/biased/wrong, that's how he makes his decisions.

 

But IMO, I would LOVE to have some decent guys-with-no-cubs involved in our pack, you can never have to much positive male role modeling!

[Gold Winger]

I'm just wondering why he was touching the boys?

[Gunny2862]

GW, no one said he was touching the boys... the phrases were " direct service position" and "direct contact" which in context means was a Scoutmaster or Assistant Scoutmaster or possibly a Merit Badge counselor.

 

Although direct contact would, in normal conversation, mean what you are indicating.

 

 

[Mr. Boyce]

You know, I take back what I said about "where are the creepy women?" I think I dated some, and a number of them have approached me for deep and meaningful, nonsensical but earnest conversations in airports and along city streets.

 

In these times, you've got to feel sorry for males who aren't up to speed on NFL football, baseball and NASCAR; who don't know much about auto mechanics. One value of scouting is that it presents a view of maleness that's not so narrow and commercially stereotyped.

 

I'm not saying men should be concerned with ballet dancing. But there's more to life that professional sports. Some guys who are considered "creepy" just might be really into stamp collecting or woodcarving or bird watching.

 

I guess I'm apprehensive since I've seen people make snap judgments that weren't based on much fact.

[Melgamatic]

> I'm just wondering why he was touching the boys?

 

I touch our cubs all the time. I shake their hands, pat them on the back, russle their hair, guide their hands with mine when learning how to use a pocketknife, bandage their wounds, etc.

 

Can you be an effective CM without touching the boys?

 

-melgamatic

[Sarge]

Has anyone thought about the top brass in Texas? Now, I don't know any of them personally, but judging their ages from photos and video clips from the on-line training, I don't think a lot of them are 'young' enough to have boys in scouting...

Whether or not someone has a son in scouts should not be a reason to exclude them from being a leader. Some men can't have children. Others enjoy teaching young minds positive values for the future long after their own kids have grown and left the nest.

Obviously, there could be cause for concern for motive. But I agree. The kids are the best judge of that.

[OldGreyEagle]

then again, the guy who started this all was a middle age guy who was not married. Not having kids didnt stop B-P from starting the scouting movement and no one, that I know of. thought him a creep, just a guy with a great idea.

 

Turned out pretty well I think

[Lem]

The Church has a very long history of Priests starting Schools for wayward boys, from Don Bosco and Father Flannigan to the French Scouter/Priest Jacques Sevin. All these men were never considered, as far as I know, as creepy.

 

Ancient Romans thought boys should be raised by their fathers and were tutored by Greek Slaves. Boys and young men have always posed a special problem for societies. Scouting is one of many movements and sets of solutions to aide in the transition from boys into men.

I personally think that apprenticeships were pretty ingenious.

I think we have gotten pretty soft with kids. I hear parents all the time saying how they need to cut this activity or that one because their kids are way too busy. They may be busy- but they are definitely not being over-worked.

Standards are falling at the same time that schedules are being filled. Busy work substitutes for quality and quantifiable experiences.

I meet plenty of creepy parents and creepy kids. Single or childless men do not have a monopoly on this trait.

 

I think scouting is too easy and some times celebrates mediocrity to a creepy degree.

Jeff

 

[NeilLup]

I fully realize that my post here is calling fire down upon my own position.

 

I find hyperparenting creepy. I find parents who treat their children a little like first base creepy (don't get more than 10 feet away, you might get picked off.) I find parents who consider their children to be possessions, or robots or their entertainment creepy. I find parents who expect their children's values to be congruent to theirs creepy. I find parents who do their children's homework or do their children's Scouting requirements to be creepy.

 

Children are an entrusted blessing. If one is so blessed with one or more children, one is, in my opinion, obligated to do everything possible to empower that child to become a strong, powerful, independent person and adult. That does not mean that the child must never hurt themself or be hurt; that's part of growing up. It doesn't mean that the child must not come in contact with people who are weird, that too is part of growing up (ask me about some of the nuns who were my grade school teachers.) It doesn't mean that if the child fails in some ways that the parent is at fault.

 

It does mean that the parent has a strong obligation to act like an adult, be an adult and learn how to help the child grow. And, in my opinion, it means that the parent has an obligation to appreciate that the child cannot be protected from every bad thing but rather that testing, struggle and failure is part of growth and the child must be given the chance to have the situations which will cause that growth.