Almost my worst nightmare

[Eamonn]

While my kid is by no means an angel.

I do thank the Good Lord that he isn't a bad kid and isn't into "Bad Stuff". (Booze and Drugs.)

My big fear since he became a driver is that he is going to have an accident or cause an accident. Again I thank the Good Lord for looking after him and so far it hasn't happened.

About a year back, one of his best friends got in a heated argument with his mom, left the house mad and upset and drove off at speed. He crashed his Ford Explorer into a bridge and ended up dead.

I can't imagine the loss that this Lad's parents and family feel.

I don't have all the details and missed the story on the local news, but earlier this week four Lads who are serving on our Council Camp Staff had been out on their night off. It seems that they were rushing to get back to camp before 2300 the time set to be back, when they crashed into a guide rail, the car flipped over a couple of times and caught fire.

They were very lucky to get out.

I don't know the full extent of their injuries. They were flown from the crash to a big hospital in Pittsburgh PA.

The driver(A Lad I have known since he was a Tiger and who has served as the Ship's Boatswain) is home, having a broken leg, some nasty bruises from his seat belt and airbag. The other three are still in the hospital. As far as I know all are going to make it home.

OJ (My kid) has become a volunteer fireman. He was at work when this accident happened, so he missed the call.

The firemen who did attend said that the car must have been really moving as it took out about 30 foot of the guide rail and this was odd as the car was going up-hill.

The drivers mother sent me an e-mail saying that her son fell asleep? I'm not sure what to think about that?

Of course the main thing is that in time it seems that everyone is going to be OK.

The Lad driving who was driving is only 17.

He really isn't in anyway a bad kid or a troubled kid.

I think he might be guilty of being a unexperienced teen-aged driver.

 

Every-time OJ leaves the house, I must sound like a broken record, telling him to drive careful and not speed and that I love him.

I have to admit that I was happy when his sub-woofer took a turn for the worse! I'm sure that he will see as a volunteer fireman the results of people speeding. Kinda sad, but unfortunately true.

I know that I'm guilty of playing the music in my car a little louder than maybe I should. Thankfully I never got into the habit of using my cell phone in the car. I have tried to set him a good example by not speeding.

Please if you have any teenagers who drive, tell them to slow down.

Never ever let them leave the house mad or upset.

Ask Camp Directors to impress on their staff that while arriving back late is never a good thing. - Speeding to get back on time is far worse.

My worse nightmare is of course anything ever happening to me or mine. But I hate to see any kid harmed or hurt.

Slow down and save a life, may sound like old hat. But we can all try to get the message across.

Eamonn.

[packsaddle]

I completely agree, Eamonn. I think it is the worst fear for any caring parent and I suspect worrying about my children will remain there for me until I die.

The speed related crashes you note are things I've noticed throughout my life. I wish I had the answer for how to impress on our youth, the importance of being careful. I don't. So I worry along with you.

[shortridge]

How thankful they're going to be OK.

 

And yes, safety should always come before deadlines. A very sobering, cautionary tale.

 

As a general observation, putting teenagers in a car with a teenage driver dramatically increases the chances of an accident. Tailgating, speeding, no seatbelts, drinking, driving in the evening - all are substantial risk factors for teen drivers, according to the CDC.

 

I'm a huge advocate of increasing the driving age to 18 - though I know there's no way that could happen politically. Parents can make that decision on their own, though.

[acco40]

As a parent with two inexperienced drivers in the house (17 & 16 year old Scouts) I'm familiar with the worrying parent situation.

 

Eamonn, I'm going to take a risk here and take a flyer but ... From the tone of you post one thing that bothered me was you seem to imply that "bad" folks seem to have more accidents than "good" folks. I guess, depending on how you feel God weighs in on such things that could be true but from my perspective goodness or badness doesn't enter into the equation very often. Good people make bad judgment calls with the same frequency as others - especially our youth.(This message has been edited by acco40)

[Eamonn]

acco40 Old Chap,

I'm sorry I in no way intended to imply that "Good folks" are any less or any more lightly to have accidents than "Bad folks".

When I posted:

"He really isn't in anyway a bad kid or a troubled kid."

I was trying to get over the point that this was a normal everyday kid!! If there is or ever was such an animal.

He isn't a wild and crazy guy who is going to drive under the influence of drugs or alcohol. He comes from a very loving and caring family and to the best of my knowledge is not a Lad who is on any medications of any sort. (At least he has never said anything about this sort of thing when he was away with the Ship.)

I think all of us know really good people who have been involved in very tragic accidents. I know at times I have been left wondering why God allows this sort of thing to happen?

When Her That Must Be Obeyed was diagnosed with cancer. I went through a phase where I was mad at everyone. I wanted to blame someone. I was mad at the doctors for not finding it sooner and not doing more to prevent it. I was even mad at her for having it!! I was really mad at God!! It just didn't seem fair. How the heck could he allow this terrible hing to happen to someone who is so darn nice and good? How the heck could he have the audacity to treat me this way?

Sure I was wallowing in my own bath of self pity.

I still don't have the answers. I'm now at the stage where I'm not even sure of the questions.

I do know that life happens.We can and do in many ways have some control over what happens to us, what we do, where we go and we do either pay or benefit from what we have done.

I'm never going to go broke playing the lottery.

But I'm never going to win millions of dollars. Because I don't buy the ticket.

I wasn't in the car with this Lad.

I don't really know what happened.

I know that I might be being unfair. But I suspect that a car full of teenagers, with maybe loud music? With cell phones and texting? With maybe a little showing off? coupled with lack of experience had more to do with this than any part of him being a good or a bad kid.

Bad things do happen to good people.

Why this happens?

I just don't know.

Maybe when I go for a pint with my maker I'll remember to ask.

Eamonn.

 

 

 

[Vicki]

Somebody told me once that becoming a parent is allowing your heart to walk around outside your body for the rest of your life, God willing. God willing because the alternative is to lose the reason for allowing your heart out to go walkabout in the first place and that's unthinkable.

 

Vicki

[packsaddle]

My grandfather used to say that when you have children, you are hostage to fate.

[highcountry]

Being a firefighter has had some blessings on the side...this area is one of those. Both my boys have heard calls in progrress on the radio, know kids who were involved in wrecks and have been on scene at a couple of incidents. They have seen and heard things most people would rather not have haunting their minds, but they have HUGE respect for driving and will probably err WAY on the side of caution.

[Gold Winger]

You are very lucky in that respect. The town where I used to live has a couple of what were termed "treacherous turns" on the road into town. They are only treacherous if you were going too fast or don't know how to drive well but the two usually go together.

 

A few years back a car load of teens, driven by a teen, went off the road on the inside of one of these turns, hit a phone pole and all were killed. The high school brought in grief counselors. For weeks afterwards you'd see groups of teens standing in the rain by the side of the road, crying their eyes out.

 

A little more than a month later, history repeated itself at the other turn. Some kids just don't learn.

 

(This message has been edited by Gold Winger)

[SMT224]

A little more than a year ago one of our Scouts who had done everything for his Eagle except his Board of Review was killed by a drunk driver. The Troop is still not over it. At summer camp this year, a number of the Scouts make RIP-themed crafts in art and wood carving. His initials are everywhere. The family was heavily involved in Scouting, and both his brothers are Troop Eagles. He did receive his Eagle, but we have yet to do any kind of a court of honor. The trial of the driver was in May, and the family is still feeling very raw. This one stupid act by a 19 year old kid who thought he could drive just fine has effected so many of us, and I don't expect we will ever get over it.

[ozemu]

My daughter is on her Learners permit. Here that means:

 

Learner driver for one year min

 

120 hrs of supervised driving

 

two theory tests

 

one practical test

 

a logbook with lots of driving skills that must be shown and demonstrated in the 120 hrs.

 

Apparently these new rules are resulting in higher rates of passing teh prac test the first time. More experience does that. Lets hope the accident rate declines too.

 

After there L plate they are Provisional driver for another year

 

another theory and prac test (I think)

 

Only 1 passenger after 2300hrs

 

0 alchohol reading

 

and soon there may be a rule that only one passenger with P, L or below driving age in teh car.

 

It seems that 2 young inexperienced drivers are more risky in a single car than one. Three same aged inexperienced drivers in one car is statistically really really bad.

 

Don't know your rules but thought the reasoning behind ours and the actions Australia (our state anyway) are taking may be interesting

 

 

[FireKat]

Kids in accidents... Alway a sore subject with me. Thank God mine have been exposed to the true things that happen to someone in an accident, not these sanitized programs on TV and their warnings of graphic content. That is the mild stuff, they don't show the real bad stuff.  I wish that it would become manditory for new driver applicants to do a tour of a morge, trama wing or accident scene with victims. Show them what really can happen. I saw too many kids mutalatedby accidents as a firefighter, EMT and working in a funeral home. When the death was a young person and was preventable, most people gave me a wide berth as I would be angry at the waste of a life.

Teach all kids to NEVER drink and drive. NEVER let their friends drink and drive even if they have to steal their keys! Rather have an angry friend than no friend at all. If they are alive you at least have time to make up. Parents, if the kid calls for a ride home because he or his ride is drunk KEEP YOUR LECTURES TO YOURSELF. Wait until a calm clear time to talk to them. Praise them for not drinking and driving or riding with someone who does before you get in to the lecture.