Breaking up a clique

[CNYScouter]

It seems that a clique has formed in the Ship with some of the youth members.

 

We had 2 new members join in the last few months which now has the majority of the ship members in one High School and the rest all coming from different schools

 

For an event last weekend duties were assigned at the Ship meeting.

Between the time of the meeting and the time we left this clique got together and made changes without consulting the Ships Boatswain.

I think they made these decisions not to be mean to the other members but made them without any thoughts of the consequences nor how it made the other youth feel when they had to do something they were not prepared for.

 

The Boatswain wasnt told until we were in the car on the way down.

Because they switched duties without telling everyone some of the ship members were unprepared.

These changes were also made without my knowledge also. (and I didnt find out until later that weekend)

 

It seems that one of kids in this clique has decided he wants to be Boatswain and is trying just takeover this role.

He has another position in the Ship but has done nothing to learn the duties of this position and has done little to fulfill the responsibilities.

Also to be a good leader you must be good follower and I have yet to see any of this group or him be a good follower.

He is also trying go around the election process.

The reason the current Boatswain has the position is no one else wanted it (twice).

 

This has become a problem as the youth outside this clique are going to leave if this continues. (and they told me so).

One of these outsiders is my son and if he quits I will be stepping down as Skipper (which pretty much means the ship will fold). He is not ready to do so yet but if this happens again he wont be sticking around.

 

I can see what B-P is talking about in natural gangs, but this group is not following the chain of command nor is working as a team and is isolating the rest of the ship members.

 

If we had a few more members I would split the Ship into 2 crews but we just are not at that point yet.

 

A discussion needs to be done at our next meeting.

 

What would you say to this group with out sounding bias towards my son?

 

What do you do to break up this clique?

 

A discussion is also in order to the youth that wants to take over.

 

What would you say to him?

 

 

 

 

(This message has been edited by CNYScouter)

[Beavah]

Yah, I wouldn't say a thing, eh?

 

I also wouldn't have waited to the next meeting, but that's just somethin' to learn. Problems are like dirty pots. Always deal with 'em when they're "fresh". Don't let 'em sit around and congeal.

 

You put the crew members in a room and you have a Roses & Thorns debrief, eh? You set the rules - nobody is allowed to argue, each person's opinion is valued and worth listening to and thinking about. Yeh might need to help 'em with an example, like "When you did this, it made me feel this way" not "When you did this, you were WRONG". Each person is describin' his or her own perspective, without shoutin'. On good things, too, not just bad. Roses as well as thorns.

 

After yeh get all the "feelings" and individual perceptions out on the table, from both sides, yeh gently prompt 'em "OK, where do we go from here? How do we all do a better job in the future?

 

And yeh let 'em work it out.

 

This is not a problem you solve. This is a problem where yeh lock 'em in a room and let them solve it.

 

Beavah

 

P.S. In da back of your mind, it's also worth askin yourself why yeh didn't back the Bo'sun up when he/she just said "no, we're goin' with the original plan as we all decided."

(This message has been edited by Beavah)

[CNYScouter]

Right know I am pretty sure when the question is asked

 

OK, where do we go from here? How do we all do a better job in the future?

 

The answer this clique will give is to hold elections early to get themselves into the top positions in the Ship.

 

At this point none of this group has shown any effort in running the Ship and fulfilling their roles.

They want the title but dont want to put any effort in.

 

I also dont think it right to allow elections to replace the current Boatswain early just because some else has decided they now what to do it.

Especially when he was the only one willing to take on the role when elections were held.

 

Even though the current boatswain is struggling with leading the ship, He has made an effort to attend training and events to improve his leadership skills but its pretty hard to lead when no one is willing to put in an effort to follow.

 

I dont want to tell the Ship members what to do but I also dont want to give them the option of new elections as they had the chance to run and were not willing to do so when given the chance.

 

[John-in-KC]

Time for a huddle between you and the CC.

 

The one thing you can assert control over is the term of office. Use Roberts Rules of Order as an aid.

 

The point is this: Any new bylaw affecting officers takes effect only at the next regularly scheduled election.

 

Beyond that, Roses and Thorns as Beavah said.

 

Beyond that, you have the bully pulpit of Advisor's Minute to discuss clique-ism...

[Beavah]

I dont want to tell the Ship members what to do but I also dont want to give them the option of new elections as they had the chance to run and were not willing to do so when given the chance.

 

Then don't give 'em that option.

 

Honestly, I doubt it would come up, except perhaps as a red herring. A proper Roses & Thorns brings a ferocious amount of peer pressure on folks. Kids care what other kids think of 'em.

 

Yeh seem a bit emotionally invested on one side of this. That's not a good place to be. Is there an Assistant Advisor who can lead da Roses & Thorns bit, or otherwise take lead in handlin' this particular issue?

 

New kids always change the dynamic of a crew. Part of life. Some of the response is teachin' the new ones about the culture they're comin' into. Some of it is adapting the culture to allow them to contribute.

 

B

 

[Eamonn]

Before you move forward take time to look back.

From what you have posted.

I don't see any mention of the Quarterdeck?

Only the Boatswain.

Who made the plan?

Who assigned the duties?

How was the plan communicated?

Did everyone know what was going on? And who was doing what?

 

What is happening really is best left up to the Quarterdeck to manage.

They should have set down a rule, bylaw (call it what you will) when the Ship's elections will be held.

 

While maybe right now it might seem a strange thing to say, but it seems to me you have some Scouts who if you take the time to work on leadership development have the potential to be great leaders.

What is going on now might act as a good wake up call to the Quarterdeck?

The hardest thing you have to do right now is butt out and let the Scouts work out what is best for the Ship.

After all it is their Ship.

Your threat to leave? Doesn't seem like you!!

Go back and cook some brownies or an apple pie!!

(Yes I'm being serious - Bring everyone together and have them do it over!!)

Eamonn.

[Lisabob]

I was thinking about how to respond earlier today and I think Eamonn's comment about food is a good suggestion. Sometimes cliques form simply because the group itself is artificial. Not all members have enough shared experience to draw upon in order to make it "real." Sharing food is fun, easy, and brings people together in a way that weekly meetings of relative strangers may not. Seeing the problem as you do, perhaps you can recommend a night of goodies and fun (campfire, movie, midnight bowling, whatever they call fun) to your youth leaders, to help build a bit of rapport.

 

And about the election thing, I'd agree w/ Beavah that this is an unlikely response. Any youth who announces that they want to void the results of previous elections just because they weren't part of them or they didn't win, will have to consider that the very same thing might happen to them if they do win the new elections. I wouldn't think it would take very long for kids of this age group to see what a bad precedent such a move would be.

 

 

[Secret DE]

Might I suggest a little team building. Scouting is a game with a purpose and all things don't come naturally to all people. Contact your District Executive and see if he can connect you with someone who is COPE trained and have them come into a meeting and do some initiative games. That can be a big help getting the Scouts to work together and understanding how everyone on the team is dependant on one another. Then get them signed up to take the Council COPE Course (High and Low)and watch them grow.

 

This is a case where you just need to give them a chance to work it out themselves. I would start with that approach first.

 

Tony