Why can't people just take no as an answer?

[Eamonn]

I really like the small town that I live in.

Over the years I have watched things change.

Not always for the good.

The two small supermarkets were unable to compete with the big stores that moved in just outside of town and closed.

This has hurt the older people who can no longer drive.

The local YMCA was housed in a very old building in the center of town. It was old, but the local kids could ride their bikes or walk to it.

It closed and became a Regional YMCA, again outside of town, in fact unless you drive you have a real hard time getting there. The local kids can't get there so they hang out in the local parks, hounded by the local police who don't seem to understand why kids use skateboards in the park. The answer they have come up with is to build a place for skate-boarding at the YMCA -Which of course the kids have a hard time getting too!!

When the Y moved, they couldn't afford a new pool in the new facility. The community bought the pool. Built in the early 70's it is showing its age and after the initial "Save our pool" campaign, is having a hard time making ends meet.

We (the Ship) do use the pool and I do sent them a donation.

They knocked down the building that used to house the old Y and plan to build a new library on the site. The price tag is just over one-million dollars.

I was asked to sit on the building committee. I politely turned it down. I'm happy with the small library we have.

I was asked why?

I tried to be very polite and brush it off without giving a reason and sure enough I wasn't asked again.

I was then asked for a donation.

I again refused. Several letters came, which I took no notice of and just placed them in the garbage.

Then came the face to face ask. No less then three Building Committee Members arrived at the house. All sorts of Gold, Silver and Bronze memberships were presented.

Again I stated that I just wasn't interested.

But they just kept pushing!!

Now I'm starting to get a little upset.

I reminded them that it was only two years ago that the hours that the library was open had to be cut, due to not being able to afford to stay open. I reminded them that the school has a first class library and a town of less than 5,000 doesn't need a million dollar library!!

I was informed that the new library would be state of the art, with computers and Internet service.

I said that if things keep going the way that they are there will be no need for a library. People can look up just about anything on line, people can down load books and read them from the Internet, but if they wanted a donation to install a better system in the existing building I might be more interested.

With this the tone of the meeting changed and I was more or less told I was a mean hearted, tight fisted old miser!

Two days later in the mail I received a letter asking me if I would reconsider. It seems that the project is stalling for lack of funds.

I ignored it.

Eamonn.

[packsaddle]

I can't fault your logic. You seem to have the high ground in this issue, hang in there!

[frankj]

I agree that the initial "No" should have been all that's needed. Is it possible the group raising funds is large or disorganized so they can't keep track of who has said no? This doesn't sound likely if the town is small. So there is another possibility, based on the fact that they wanted you on the building committee. You are respected in the community and your name on a donor list would help with the overall effort.

 

One way to deal with this is to have a reason other than "I don't like your project" (You were probably not that blunt). Having some alternate charity or cause you regularly support and explaining this as the reason for not giving to the new undertaking is, I think, understandable by the solicitors of funds.

[packsaddle]

Frankj, while I agree there is no need to be rude, I submit that your suggestion is for a deception designed to avoid the issue. Eamonn has substantive objections that ought to be considered by the community. It is possible that by speaking out, he can save the town considerable expense and trouble. I think he is not seeking the easy way out of this, but rather wondering why 'they' don't seem to understand his position.

I could be wrong about this, though. Eamonn, do I have this about right?

[Eamonn]

packsaddle

As ever you have hit the nail on the head.

I'm not sure how many people use the library.

The local schools have spent big bucks up-dating their computers.

In fact they just did in the past few weeks.

I was upset that they just thew them in the dumpster. I thought maybe some of the older people in town might have been able to use them. I don't think I know a family that doesn't own a computer.

Sure my Mother-in -law doesn't but she has no wish to have anything to do with them!!

frankj

I'm certain they know that they have asked and re-asked!!

They are also very much aware of my involvement in Scouting and I think know how expensive starting a new Sea Scout unit can be.

Eamonn.

[Gonzo1]

Eamonn,

Has the library board considered remodeling? or an additin? These could be compromises.

 

All the best, You da man, and so is Ed Mori, Pack saddle, Beavah, LisaBob, Brentallen, gwd, fb, (female versions of 'da man' where appropriate.)

Good luck and Merry Christmas!

Gonzo

[baden]

Scouting is one place where no definitely means "I'll be back."

 

About a year ago my D.E. called and wanted to set up a meeting with me. I asked what it was about. He said he would like to tell me when I got there. This not being my first rodeo and having seen the video " The Barbeque " I surmised it was a recruiting safari for some District position. As a courtesy I agreed to meet with him. When I got to the resteraunt our Council Commissioner was there. So, I knew they were prospecting for a Dist. Commissioner, a position I have served in in another District for almost 5 years. I cut to the chase immediately and told them I would not accept the position as I was Scoutmaster of a fairly lively Troop and all my time for Scouting belonged to these boys. When I was DC before I was an ASM and felt I could afford the time.

They finally capitulated. End of story, until a month ago. I took some guys in the Troop to a Merit Badge College and here comes an Asst. Council Commissioner. Needs to make an appointment to see me. I asked what about. He preferred to tell me when we had the meeting. I said I don't have time for these silly reindeer games so ask me now. Again District Commissioner. Again I turned it down. Went to Roundtable this month. Here comes our current District Commissioner with an organizational chart in hand. Wants to set up a meeting with me. What about? Didn't want to get into it before the meeting. I told him no topic, no meeting. Again with the District Commissioner pitch. AAARGH!!! They never quit coming.

[John-in-KC]

Baden,

 

Do I not recall that the Scoutmaster's Handbook or some other piece of BSA literature says a Scoutmaster is one of those "one and only one jobs" in Scouting?

 

You might try reminding them of that.

 

The other part is just keep saying No. Courteous and Kind, but No.

[AvidSM]

Baden - volunteers are hard to get these days. And, good volunteers, who have prior experience like yourself, are even harder. I don't think they have anyone else in mind but you. So, I would nominate someone else you think can do the job to get these people off your back!

[epalmer84]

"Commissioners must not be registered simultaneously as unit leaders. Some commissioners may be registered on a unit committee because they have a son in the unit or because of previous personal history in the unit, but their principle Scouting obligation should be with commissioner responsibilities. Commissioners may be currently registered in only one commissioner position."

 

Reference:

http://www.scouting.org/nav/enter.jsp?s=cm

 

Ed

[CalicoPenn]

First rule of fundraising: No means Maybe.

Second rule of fundraising: Maybe means Yes.

Third rule of fundraising: Yes means "There's more where that came from"

Fourth rule of fundraising: There is no such word as No

 

Substitute volunteer recruitment for fundraising - same rules apply.

 

Eamonn, the problem is that British politeness - time to try some American Cowboy brusqueness - I always find the following works well if delivered with just the right tone of calm menace: "No - and if you ask me again, I'll tear out your spleen". They'll be so busy trying to figure out where their spleen is and if they really need it that they won't ask you again.

 

Calico

[jr56]

At least consider yourself honored that they see something they like in you. After multiple attempts to be accepted by the hierarchy in my council, only to be snubbed as they ask the same people over and over, I've finally told myself, the heck with it, and walked away.