Preparing Webelos Parents for Boy Scouts

[msnowman]

There have been much discussion about how to prepare the Webelos themselves for the transition from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts. But, how do you prepare the parents? Boy Scouts is an entirely different world than Cub Scouts and it is as much of a shock to the parents as it is to the boys.

 

One thing I have learned from my own experience (Nephew bridged over nearly 2 years ago) is that the boys need time to be boys, complete with mistakes. I have made it a specific point NOT to go on any camping trips or camporees - with the exception of 2 camporees close to home as a 20 minute visitor and going out to BS Camp on family day. I know I would be tougher on him than I would probably be on another scout (you always seem to hold your own to a higher standard). I also know he learned self-reliance faster w/o me being there...that higher standard also brings with it an over-eagerness to help even when its not asked for or needed.

 

I think this has been the best course of action because he has said to me since "Tia, when are you going to come stay at Boy Scout camp with us?". There are two boys about his age in the Troop with highly involved parents - they chaperone every trip, chaperone camp, etc. Both of those boys have tried to get their adult to stay home from various activities so they could breathe. On the rare occassions when either is successful they seem to come home from the trip happier and exuding excitment over the trip.

 

That made me think that one of the first pieces of advice I'd give the guardian of a new Boy Scout is "stay away" when it comes to overnights. He isn't made of glass or TNT. If he has to pick up his own sleeping bag or ask an older boy for help getting his pack on he will be better for it. Go to Troop meetings so you know what is going on but let him have time away without you. I guess its a trick to find the line between too involved and uninvolved. I don't mean Troops should create rules to forbid New Parents from attending overnites. Heck, I'm not a big camper but I know that if I was told I could not go w/ Nephew because he was a first year I'd be looking for a new Troop. I'm thinking more of encouraging them to give their boys time and space.

 

How do you prepare your Webelos parents? Are there specifics that Webelos parents should be understanding before their darlings run off to the big world of "Boy Led"? Troops - do you encourage, discourage or stay neutral on parents of New Scouts attending camp outs? Do you role new parents right into major, active Troop positions (ASM, etc) or do you encourage them to take a more hands off approach (MC, MBC, etc)?

 

YiS

Michelle

[mtm25653]

We have an "intro to boy scouting" for parents, either at a cub campout in the fall, or when a Webelos den comes to visit the troop. I put together a chart of differences between the cub and boy scout programs (e.g., cubs camp 2-3 times a year, with families/boy scouts camp every month, adults camp separately from boys) as well as definitions of boy scout terms (e.g., patrol, board of review, merit badge, patrol leaders council).

 

We have a new scout campout a few weeks after the Webelos cross over - the older boys teach how to set up a campsite, Fireman's Chip, Tottin' Chip, etc. It's ok for parents to come, but the adults camp away from the patrols, and some troop leaders have the assignment to keep the parents away from the new boys (like if a parent tries to help the boy start a fire, the leader will ask the parent for help somewhere else). We usually leave a space or two for parents of new boys (usually former den leader) to come to summer camp and again, we try to keep them busy.

 

It seems to work - many of our parents register as ASM or Committee members, so no one is overburdened with responsibilities, and few boys drop out.

[AvidSM]

My troop does a similar "intro to boy scouting" like mtm25653 mentions for the new parents when they come to visit. We also have a new scout campout after they bridge over.

 

To prepare these new parents, I do everything I can to let them know the benefits of scouting and how well my troop delivers the program. I am competing for this boy's time with school, sports, etc. If the boy is spreading himself thin, I need the parents to help keep the boy in scouting. To help him see it's benefits over some of the other activities he can choose from.

 

Alos, these parents need to develop trust in the troop leadership. I try to get as much face time with them as I can. Having at least the SM attend the Pinewood Derby and Blue and Gold is a good way of meeting a getting to know the Webelos II parents.

[Lisabob]

I agree that this is really important. Last year (for the first time) we did a parent orientation on a Saturday afternoon a couple of weeks after all of the cross overs joined us. (The SM and some of the youth leadership did a new scout orientation at the same time in another room). That seemed useful but only about half of the families attended. I've been thinking that it might be helpful to have a couple of people attend a den meeting and talk with the parents in that setting (while the boys are otherwise occupied). Ideally I guess it would be the SM, although in our case we draw boys from about 6 different packs and our SM is a busy guy so it would probably be ASMs and committee members. That way the parents would get a clearer idea before their sons join a troop and it might also give the parents a contact person to go to with questions once (if) their boys do join. Of course that would be less of an issue with small troops but in our case we've got about 35-40 boys and probably 20 registered Scouters so it can be a little hard to know who to go to with questions.

 

Does anybody do that? Would Webelos DLs find that a good use of time?

 

Oh - and one other useful thing for parents of prospective cross over scouts - make sure to give them a calendar of troop activities as far in advance as you can so they can "be prepared" to participate in your troop activities right away. When we joined (on a Friday night at a pack cross-over ceremony) we were told - see you Tuesday for the troop meeting- and we're going camping next weekend - and there's a fundraiser the following week...we expect to see your son at these events... and I felt like I'd been bushwacked! Totally threw off my schedule, for which I was not grateful. Especially because I had asked and asked for this info up front and never got it until that night!

[scoutingagain]

We've done similar things to what's been discussed so far. We invite Webelos Dens to an open house night and the boys work with the scouts on skill demonstrations, a game and tales of past trips and adventures. The parents are taken into a separate room and a short presentation is given describing the differences between Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts, followed by descriptions of troop activities and Q&A.

 

What I think is needed though is a Webelos Den Leader transition training program. I've had few issues with scout parents, except when they are an incoming Webelos Den leader. As Webelos Den Leader they are used to being in charge of their own little fifedom. Getting to decide what the boys do, when they do it, activities etc. It takes a while for some to get the idea that we want to encourage the boys to make decisions on what they would like to do and then if things are not quite as organized as when they planned activities or outing for their dens they get frustrated. I have one, who, after two years still doesn't seem to get it.

 

SA

[mtm25653]

It is helpful if there is one point of contact in the troop for the cub packs/Webelos dens. For the first couple years after my youngest (of 3) moved to Boy Scouts, I served as the Webelos liaison for my troop, since I knew the troop program, but I also knew the pack leaders since I had been one for the previous (8) years. This is a good job for a parent who has experience in the troop but also has ties to the pack.

[moxieman]

Thank you for all your tips posted so far and those yet to be posted. A very timely topic. This is the topic of request by those who attend our roundtable for the next roundtable two weeks from tonight.

 

 

[msnowman]

Thanks to everybody who has responded thus far. I am the Webelos I leader (no II's this year) and I want to make sure I prepare these parents better than I was prepared when I was the AWDL/CM during Nephew's tenure/transition. I'll talk to the SM and see if he will come in and visit/chat with my boys & parents, as has been mentioned face time is important and useful.

 

Thanks again and I look forward to more good advice.

 

YiS

Michelle

[eagle90]

There are a few things I have found that are very hard for new crossover parents to comprehend:

 

1. Boy Scouts are much more individualized than Cubs. That is, every boy isn't working on the same badge. In Cubs, the entire den does the Outdoorsman badge, then moves on the the Naturalist badge, etc. Whereas in Boy Scouts, the scout makes his choices and moves at his own pace.

 

2. Not every minute of every meeting or campout must be planned. Free time is a good thing which the boys look forward to. The few hours we give them for free time on a campout they spend exploring on their own, walking in the woods with a buddy, damming up a little creek, or just sitting in their tent reading a book. The Cub parents seem to think that there must be an organized activity every minute of the day.

 

3. In a boy led troop ( or one that is striving to be such) there is muich less for the adults to do. We have had new parents get a little upset that after a month in the troop we have not assigned them a job to do. Relax, survey the landscape, see how things operate for a while. Let the boys do it for themselves!

 

Hope this helps!

 

Dale

 

 

 

 

[Lisabob]

Adding to the notion that there is less for the adults to do - at the same time, adults may need to adjust to the fact that not everything will be done as smoothly/efficiently/well as if they were to do it themselves. Boy leadership is sometimes messy, inefficient, and even ineffective and that's part of the learning process. I know for me, it was very hard to sit back and watch when things were not going too well - the natural impulse is to jump in and lend a hand - and former cub leaders are especially prone to this (having spent the last 3-5 years as CMs, DL,s and committee members, etc., trying to get other adults to lend us a hand when needed!). Parents need to see that an occasional flop of a troop meeting or an outing that falls apart are not necessarily signs of a poorly run program (they might be, but they might not be too...).

[msnowman]

Amen to that Lisabob. I'm a fixer by nature. Watching things go less than perfectly is very, very difficult....another reason I'm glad I avoided campouts that first year. I am far better for staying out of the Troop loop for Nephew's first year - and I think that piece of reality is helping me be a better Webelos leader this time around.

 

YiS

Michelle

 

 

 

 

[infoscouter]

As the Pack Trainer, I have a special meeting for Bear parents moving into Webelos, where I start introducing some of the differences between Cub Scouting and Boy Scouting. In the fall, we have a parent meeting with the parents of the 5th graders, where we go into more detail. We discuss patrols versus dens, individualized advancement, youth leadership, and roles for adults. I talk about backing off, and letting the boys adjust to Boy Scouting, and why it's important. I *strongly* encourage the Webelos leaders, assistants and even the parents to do the online Boy Scout Fast Start training, or I offer to lend them the Fast Start DVD.

 

I am a firm believer in introducing this information to the parents before they start Boy Scouting. The troop orientations are also important, but often they include troop operations information that the parents get bogged down in (dues, permission slips, etc.). The "why Boy Scouting is different" info isn't absorbed as well, because they're worrying about the fundraiser or upcoming outing.

[John-in-KC]

One technique I've seen used is having older teens of the Troop have some of these discussions. Amazing, but parents do listen to 17 yo Eagles and Life Scouts closing in on Eagle. These young men, and the tales they tell of their trails, are great for demonstrating that Boy Scouting is a journey, not a race.

[gwd-scouter]

I've been reading this thread with great interest. Have just been contacted by a Webelos Den Leader. She wants to bring her den of 10 boys and their parents to a couple of meetings and will be joining us on our December campout. The ideas and suggestions posted so far will be a big help when I talk to the parents about our Troop and the differences in Boy Scouting and Cub Scouting.

 

Must admit that while reading the posts here, I've had several "Duh" moments - smack my forehead and mumble "why didn't I think of that" when we had our four new Webelos crossovers last Spring.