Last minute requests

[CNYScouter]

With all the discussion about planning (or lack of) It seems that more and more I am having this happen to me, not only is Scouts, but at work and at home:

 

At the last minute someone wants me to do something and then gets pissed when I am not available.

 

Our Ship had its first outing this weekend.

At our Thursday night meeting two weeks ago I got the usual Lets go XXX on Saturday.

When I stop and say that we need at least week to get the required paperwork and adults to go things seems to fall apart.

When the activity was brought up all the ship members wanted to go that weekend, waiting a week only 2 showed.

 

Our IH on more than one occasion, has walked in to a Thursday night meeting and has said, the club is doing XXX on Saturday, have the ship come and then cant understand when know one shows up.

 

Everyone looks at me and wants to know why no one shows.

 

I have gotten a somewhat last minute call the last 3 weeks week asking if I could staff WLOT (less than a weeks notice). This was my 2nd WB weekend.

The next week I got a call asking if I could staff SM Specific/OLT this week. (just over a weeks notice).

I just got a call asking if I could staff Scouting University next weekend.

 

At work 2 or 3 times a month, we get a call asking us why we arent on-site to do our work (no one told us) or are asked to show up the next day to start. Our customers then get mad when we have to tell them that we have other projects and cant be there for a few days.

 

Even at home I am experiencing this.

I had WB a couple of weekends ago.

On Saturday morning of WB, my wife got a call from her father asking when I could be at the Lake house to take out the dock.

Even though we had discussed the weekends when I was going to be gone and he had made no mention of doing this he and was mad that I couldnt drop everything and wasnt available to help him.

 

These are just a few of the instances I have had gone through just in the last few months.

It always seems that I end up the bad guy.

 

I dont know if this is a lack of planning, lack of communication, lack of common courtesy or the Me generation poking its head out again. (Or a combination of all of them).

 

Has any one else experienced this?

 

[Trevorum]

CNY, Reminds me of the old joke about the "triangle" we can provide for our clients - Good, Fast, Cheap - a client can have any two he wishes, but never all three.

 

I too have seen the phenonmeon you describe in Scouting. I think that in non-profit volunteer contexts like BSA, some people assume that a "job" is ALWAYS Cheap (i.e., unpaid labor), so they can also have Fast AND Good. It doesn't work that way. Volunteer labor may not be compensated in terms of money but it always comes with a price - perhaps a hidden price. All scheduled undertakings, whether for profit or not, need sufficient advance scheduling, or the result will be unsatisfactory.

[Beavah]

Yah, I agree on the adult side, eh? I really get annoyed by the last-minute trainin' requests, too. The trainin' chair should have staffed it before it got announced eh? Barrin' a disaster like "George had a heart attack and we need somebody" the last minute stuff shouldn't happen.

 

But as far as da kids in the Ship goes, it may just be their "natural" schedulin'. Kids are the victims of all kinds of adult last-minute "requests" too, except they don't often have the ability to say "no." Coach adds a practice, band director adds a gig, teacher drops a 10-page paper on them due on Monday, mom expects they'll spend Saturday weedin' the garden or helpin' winterize da house, and tells 'em Thursday night. All the smart kids around here seem like they have to be hugely flexible/adaptable to short-term stuff. So that's just the way they schedule, eh? They know this Saturday is clear 3 days out, but can't bet on the followin' Saturday since some adult may dump on them.

 

Yah, so it's our lot in life to support youth-run. No complainin'. If dat's the way the youth have to schedule, best to say somethin' like "hey, we'll set it up so that two adults are available two weekends a month for last-minute things." Mark those down, or not. If they schedule a last-minute deal, then about half the time you'll be able to say "yes." If they don't, you get to have some fun with your significant other or do those chores you always meant to do or go help the district trainin' chair who can't get his act together, eh?

 

The other thing I'd consider is whether you just encourage 'em to do it on their own. It's a Ship, eh? All high-schoolers? For a lot of things they might be just fine goin' solo.

 

 

[Eamonn]

Saying No can at times be really hard.

I have at times asked people to do something at the very last minute.

The people I ask are the people I know that have a hard time saying No.

We all need to take a time out and look at what we are doing. We all lead very different lives. When we think about what is important, my list of priorities is going to a little different than everyone else's.

Trying to find the balance between "Help other people at all times" and "Do my best" can be a real challenge.

I was talking with a Sea Scouter not so long ago. He was doing something with our Ship, I was in charge of getting the pizza. Jokingly when I asked him to come and get some he said that there were two things that no one ever had to ask him to do twice, one was eat and the was sail his boat!

I used to be that way about Scouting.

Of course I liked nothing more than getting away, spending time with people that I like and doing things that I think I'm good at.

Even when I was self-employed I'd pay someone to do what I should have been doing just so I could get away and do my stuff.

Sure I'd moan and make noises, but I think deep down I was glad that they had asked.

Saying no to something that I really enjoy, is really hard for me.

After the Ship got started I was invited to return as Council Training Chair. I love training, but I'd make a promise to myself?? That I wanted to be back working with the youth.

One big problem with a small unit is that five or six members not showing up can ruin the entire meeting, of course with more members this isn't such a big deal.

We also need to remember that people make demands on the youth members as well.

For the bigger events I try and get parent permission forms out and returned a fair amount of time ahead. The QD understands how much organization I now have to put into getting away and have set minimum numbers by date. If we don't have the required number by such a date the event is canceled. I of course feel bad for the Scouts that did sign up and hate letting them down.

When I did accept that last minute request, I did at times feel that I was doing my bit to help, but on the other side of the coin, I was letting my wife down. Even if we had nothing planned and everything was ship shape, taking off at the tip of a hat and leaving her home alone wasn't much fun for her. Returning home and telling her what a great time I'd had was down right dangerous!!

Eamonn.