Dealing with gung ho new parents

[FireKat]

What do you do with new parents who were active at the pack level that within a few months of crossover think they (should, can, do - fill in with whatever fits) run the troop?

 

Most take the time to see how things are going before getting into leadership but occasionally some come in & think they know it all. No one wants to discourage parent participation but this starts splitting a troop apart.

 

Note: some of the new boys also reflect the same attitude of the parent.

 

Any comments would be welcomed.

 

Thanx, FK

[Venividi]

FireKat,

Try a "go out for coffee", or "stop at Baker's Square for a piece of pie after round table", and give the gung ho parent some personal time for a discussion to explain the boy scout aims and methods, how adult scouters fit into that, and specific roles and/or tasks that this parent can do to assist in a way consistent with the aims and methods.

 

Occasionally you also need a gathering of all parents to review the same with everyone, and for the SM to explain his/her vision for the troop and the CC to explain the committee role in supporting the troop.

[evmori]

Have a get together with the new parents & explain your unit requires all new leaders to complete the appropriate training for their position before they have any authority to do anything in the unit.

 

Ed Mori

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10

[Crew21_Adv]

FK,

 

I would imagine many Scout Leaders, SM's and ASM's would enjoy having Gung Ho parents.

 

There should be many needed areas were to serve. First I'd ask them to attend Troop Committee Challege or Boy Scout Leader Specific and Outdoor Leadership Skills quickly. At these trainings they should come away learning the difference between Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts. Adult Leadership is still needed at the Troop level, but should be done thru or via the SPL and PLC.

 

If they are able to attend Wood Badge with their first year of joining. They should learn where their motivation and skills could be put to best use. After Wood Badge, their goals should align with the Troop's goals. Also, it allows for mentoring to occur with a seasoned adult Scouter.

 

If indoctrinated correctly, they should do one job or one ASM or Committee position extremely well, and not do all the jobs. I'd say use these new parents, register them and steer them to needed areas within your troop!

 

Scouting Forever and Venture On

Crew21 Adv

[campcrafter]

Is the troop running a good program according to the guidelines of BSA? Are the leaders you have trained? Is the committee doing their job? Is the troop being run by the boys using the patrol method?

 

If the answer is YES - then OK you do need a session for new parents telling them how it is and where and how you need them to help. They need leadership too. Unfourtunately there are some personality types who will always be a thorn.

 

However if the answer is NO then the probelm isn't the new parents.

 

 

cc

[Eagledad]

After a few years of working with parents, we learned to put the new leaders in kind of a troop training for the first couple of months. It pretty much is what Venividi is suggesting. The SM or a very experience ASM usually has coffee ready for the new leaders at meetings and holds them together to discuss troop proceedures. I like the pie idea. It is better with the SM because it shows how well the Troop functions under the leadership of the SPL and PLC. But the SM has confrences to attend also so a good ASM is needed. We spend time watching a PLC meeting and discussing how it worked, who led and the role of the one of adult (SM) in the meeting. We show them how Patrol Corners works and discuss that as well. This is a good time to do all the basic trainings as well including safe swim, Merit Badge Counselors, and even understanding G2SS.

 

We try and let the adults watch each part of the scout meeting for a couple of months and encourage discussion so that we can explain the value of how the adults fit in. We try to encrourage the new adults to basically watch for at least six months before they start diving in. A year in some jobs. But I find that summer camp is pretty much where the new adults really start to understand "boy run" and the light bulb turns on.

 

Many troops put new leaders in charge of NSPs, but we put our most experienced and best leaders in charge of that group. Many troops like to get the adults active right off the bat and I agree if they aren't close to the boys. I found that boy run just takes a little while to understand. Once they get it, then they get if well.

 

It is important that the SM talk to the adults a lot of the hows and whys so that all the adults understand and buy in to the goals of the program. It is also important the New Parents who aren't involved in leadership still understand the program as well. Most problems occure from the mysteries of the program like why don't parents get more calls or why isn't their son earning rank faster? I think at least one parents meeting per month for the first three months works really well. The "getting ready for summer camp" meeting being the last. After that everybody is pretty much on board.

 

Good question.

 

Barry

 

Barry

[John-in-KC]

1) Parental orientation in the unit.

 

2) Fast Start. Have an ASM or MC discuss "what they learned" afterward.

 

3) Youth Protection, preferably in person vice the online. Have an ASM or MC discuss "what they learned" afterward.

 

4) Merit Badge Counselor training. Everyone has a unique skillset. Have an ASM or MC discuss "what they learned" afterward.

 

5) New Leader Essentials. Have an ASM or MC discuss "what they learned" afterward.

 

6) Scoutmaster Fundamentals or Troop Committee Challenge. For that matter, take the whole Committee through the challenge, that was what Lisa'Bob did!

 

7) Outdoor Leader.

 

That will keep them busy for a few months. Make sure they buy their uniforms and set them up properly.

 

The object of all this is two-fold: You WANT their energy and dedication. We want it supporting the aims and methods of the program. Give them a trail they can follow, and let them ramp up to being fully productive adults supporting our programs. Further, you keep them busy even while their son is getting settled in.(This message has been edited by John-in-KC)

[OneHour]

We are assuming that you are the SM. As previously mentioned, send him/ her off to BSA school! If the classes are not readily available, as Venividi indicated, have a talk with him/her about how the troop is supposed to run (I'm assuming that your troop is a classic, well-oiled and tuned, boy-run troop) and see where he/she fits. Let him/her see the New Leader Training tape and have him/her thumbs through the Scoutmaster Handbook ... then send them to class! As a Scoutmaster, you do have a definite area that you would like this person to help with, right? If not, find one before you have the talk and tell him/her exactly what the position entails and where the boundaries (responsibilities) are with respect to the boys and other scoutmasters. If you are the CC, ditto on the committee side. It should work since we have the same problem and continue to have inspired parents after every recruiting season. The great thing about these over-zealous parents is that they are great helpers after they know exactly where they stand and what their duties are!

 

Case-in-point, we have a father who was our CM from one of the packs. He was thinking that he would be an ASM after his son joins the troop. Having witnessed his interactions with the cubs before, we decided that he best fits in the committee role and chairing one of our fundraisers. It works out great!

 

Good luck.

 

1Hour

[fling1]

Hmmm.. This sounds familiar. Oh yeah -- you're talking about me!

I was very keen on finding a place to contribute in our troop when my son first crossed over. Like you, the existing leadership encouraged me to wait a while and grok the Boy Scout Way first. But I was very well aware of the boy-led issues (they were the reason my son chose this troop!) plus I had a lot of enthusiasm and energy. I started by helping the SM with the website, then took the climbing training, essentially just stepping up to a ASM role without really waiting to be asked.

Long story short -- After a sudden and unexpected transition hit the troop, I ended up SM after only a 6 month tenure. Not what I expected, or even wanted, but I was in the best position to take it up.

My advice? Don't push back too hard. Invest that energy instead into learning how your new, energetic parent can best contribute. (Have that talk that OneHour described so well.)Then let them contribute. If it turns out they are all wrong-headed, invest your energy into straightening them out. They'll still be energetic, and will appreciate your efforts to help them fit in with the program.

[FireKat]

Sorry this is long and took awhile. I do not want to ever discourage gung ho people but this went a bit beyond just that..

 

A bit more on the problem: these parent attended summer camp & got the fast start training. Now some think they know it all (we all know that you are always continuing to learn). They also ignore/overlook parents/leaders who have been running things like they do not know anything. Flat ignoring what is said even by a member with over 20yrs in scouts(more knots than I have seen before, well known and respected by Council etc.)

 

Also it is beginning to appear that one adult is trying to change our troop form one with an excellent reputation of high expectations and produce eagles to one more of giving away ranks/badges. This adult explained things to the new parents. The adult also tried to load same-minded individuals onto the committee. There was also some other problems (not related to these situations) causing a need for a new SM (no I am not SM, on Committee). The committee had discussed & appointed a previous excellent SM to the position (On who stepped aside for another great SM to have the experience). During the interim, one new adult announced he was SM. The committee members looked at each other, confused. We just ignored the announcement and continued to work with the appointed SM. These adults had just been thru the first round of BS training at summer camp. One still acts like the boys are in cubs, AFTER the training. (It was not our Councils camp so I am wondering the quality of the training or is it the individual)

 

We are a mostly boy-run group except for the gap times when there is few/no older boys, until the boys get the hang of things. Our parents, in general (male/female/occasional sibling) love to be at activities/fundraisers with the boys. Situations are handled by PLC &/or SM/ASMs. If a parent sees a situation, it is brought to the attention of them to be handled. We are just there to enjoy being with the boys.

 

Also we have one adult who keeps quoting according to the by-laws no one has ever seen these by-laws. Is it a BSA requirement to have written by-laws?

 

[OneHour]

oooooh, it sounds as if your troop is experiencing a coup d'etat. This calls for the intervention of the COR and the CC (and the former scoutmaster). If the commmittee does not have enough time to recruit a new SM and the former excellent SM is stepping aside for new blood, then why can't he stay on until another Scoutmaster is sought? This is the most sensible way while allowing the committee to do its job of finding the right person. Of course care should be taken with this one renegade parent who self-proclaimed himself as the heir-apparent SM! He could splinter the troop. If it were our situation, I would ask that the former scoutmaster to stay on until the situation subsides and participates in promoting, searching, whatever it takes to find the right person for the position. I would have the CC, COR, and SM sit this man down and explain to him the BSA search process and the way that the troop should be run. If he is the right person, then interview him for the job as with others.

 

By-laws? I have yet to find any reference to by-laws that the troop has to have in G2SS, Scout Laws, Scout Oath, Scout Motto, or Scout Slogan. Now, there exist the bylaws at the national level, namely the Charter and Bylaws and Rules and Regulations of the Boy Scouts of America. I do not think that your troop is a separate organization than the BSA? If it is not, then a troop by-law is not needed.

 

Good luck,

 

1Hour

[FScouter]

"Is it a BSA requirement to have written by-laws? "

 

No it is not a requirement. If fact troop bylaws aren't encouraged at all. Really, all a troop needs is the Scout Oath and Scout Law. For specifics, add to that the Scout Handbook, Scoutmaster Handbook, and Troop Committee Guide book and you're totally covered.

 

The problem with bylaws is they either duplicate what is already written in the books, or they directly conflict with BSA.

[FireKat]

Thanks for the great insights. I wish we could retain the retiring SM but we all agree with his reasons for stepping aside (possible post later as it ddeals with COuncil issues but one problem at a time)

 

The new SM is good at handling things with much experence. He likes to be patient on many situations but this may not be one time to be patient. I do not wish our troop to lose its great rep. It is harder to get back than to try to get the new parents to see. Training is good but if they see the training thru their interpetation of how to do things, all the training in the world will not help. (these are the type that are pushing 10yos to go thru the Citizenship MB series)

 

I will try to get the CC &/or COR to talk with them. Much better they do this as I have always been one to jump at people not being ethical or respectful, adults or kids.

Thanks again!

[EagleInKY]

You've gotten lots of good suggestions. Is the person trying to change the committee new as well? It sounds like you may have given some people some power before they were ready and able to understand.

 

There needs to be a "come to Jesus" meeting (pardon the phrase if it offends you). But you need to be very clear and frank. I had a committee member try to do this a few years ago. We had to have a very frank discussion. We didn't get anywhere with him. We eventually had to demonstrate to him that his actions would not be allowed.

 

As for the new parents, KC John gave you a good list. We do the Troop Committee Challenge with everyone (I try to get all parents and even ASMs to participate, it's a great learning experience).

 

We're going to try one other approach next year. We're going to a take an idea from our HS Band. We're going to assign "mentor" famlies to new families. These mentor families will adopt new families for the first few months and try to encourage them to participate at the appropriate level and just help educate them on how scouting works.

[ScoutNut]

FireKat, just a comment on something that you mentioned -

 

"one adult is trying to change our troop form one with an excellent reputation of high expectations and produce eagles"

 

Your Troop does realize that making Eagle Rank is NOT a Purpose or Aim of the BSA, right? Advancement is simply ONE of the methods that we use. Maybe this adult feels that your Troop is more of an Eagle mill? Just something to consider.

 

 

"these are the type that are pushing 10yos to go thru the Citizenship MB series"

 

I don't see the problem with new Scouts doing a Citizenship merit badge. What merit badges a boy chooses to work on & when he chooses to do them is HIS choice ONLY. It is not up to the parent, committee or SM to tell the boys what/when they can work on.

 

When a boy comes up to the SM to request a blue card, if the SM feels the merit badge might be a bit over his head he can discuss it with the Scout. However, in the end it is up to the SCOUT to decide. If a 10 year old new Scout is really keen on doing a Citizenship merit badge, why kill his interest?